Behavioral Therapy for a child

[bensam]

I have a 7 year old who I think would benefit from a therapist. She is a bright articulate child but she has a very bad temper. She is extremely hard on herself and completely unable to cope with stress. She can be extremely disrespectful to her adults and throw big tantrum even at this age. When she has not flown into a rage or otherwise storming around the house she is an angel. Lovely, overly generous, creative and happy. I wonder if anyone has any experience with using a therapist to help a child deal with their anger and learn how to cope with stressful situations. We try to do simple things like send her to her room to calm down, read a book etc. and these techniques work but usually we have had a massive fight before where she is violent towards her younger siblings or us. I was hoping we could teach her techniques to avoid getting to such a bad place in the first place. All thoughts and recommendations for any therapists welcome.

[midivydale]

Hello, I have no direct experience to share but did not want to read and run. Have you had a chat with her school to see if your child displays the same behaviour at school? Perhaps they can share some strategies or tips with you?

I have read a book called the explosive child which I found useful when my son my younger. It sounds like she founds certain situations overwhelming, Do you know what situations she finds hard to manage? Are they at school or at home, or both?

Has she always been like this or has something changed in her routine? My son was very explosive about this time last year and I was really worried about it. As it turned out, he was deeply unhappy at his then nursery, which made him very anxious. He was stressed and deeply unhappy. Once we changed his nursery he has become a completely different little boy and the change in him was almost instant. Could it be something that is troubling her at school?

I am sure someone with more experience will come along in a minute and give some better advice.

[sallyfran]

There is a good book called 'The Kid's Guide to Staying Awesome and In Control'. It was written principally I think for children on the autistic spectrum and is quite American but it is full of practical strategies to help adults support children to regulate their emotions and behaviour, and for children to learn to regulate themselves.

Re therapists, I don't know of any locally. I do know, however, that when my nephew went through a really difficult time (aged 10) a child and family therapist helped his mum and him a great deal, and she felt that the expense was very much worth it.

[Pugwash]

Check it out with your GP and seek a referral for a psychologist. I do not know whether the Sunshine House set up has these, but I know there is a child and family centre at Maudsley

[roic]

I started a similar thread about my 6 year old son a few months ago, you might find the responses useful (bit confusing as I posted under a different name Lochie!):

http://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/forum/read.php?29,1622836,1624494#msg-1624494

One trigger at the time seemed to be angry flair ups as a consequence of going back to school after Xmas hols! I think he had got used to doing things at his own pace at home over Xmas and then got very angry when he had to go back to school!

We have found this book useful - counting to 10 before you lash out and thinking before you react:

http://www.amazon.co.uk/I-Feel-Angry-Your-Emotions/dp/0750214031/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459339839&sr=1-1&keywords=i+am+angry

I very much feel like my son's emotions lie just under the surface, he can literally flair up so very quickly over something that seems very trivial (to us at least but not to him). Reducing ipad use has helped. Also general mindfulness practices that are shown in this book: http://www.amazon.co.uk/Peacefully-Meditation-Albert-Whitman-Prairie/dp/0807563811/ref=sr_1_1?s=books&ie=UTF8&qid=1459339973&sr=1-1&keywords=peacefully+piggy+meditation

Good luck. It can be very wearing, but for us it has improved a bit.

[scareyt]

Hi this is a bit random but have you tried keeping a food diary to see if there is a specific food trigger for the behaviour? I've heard of children behaving that way because of a soy allergy. My son turns into a devil child if his blood sugar gets too high and then too low. If he has protein or oats for breakfast he is delightful all day.

[AuntieS]

Hi

I can really recommend a book called "The Red Beast". Though written for children with Asperger's it's pretty generic. Good graphics and I've used it with children/ young people all ages.