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Ha ha! I was dying to open my laptop and start something - I knew you'd be on the case Molly;-)


Pickle - completely agree, in fact main reason I wanted to get on here (how sad) as that man was doing my head in!! argh, can you imagine!! especially when she was nearing the end and he was fobbing her off saying just push..


I didn't think the second youngster was much more supportive though?? Maybe its just the cameras in their faces that makes them play up? I hope so for the partner's sake.


Seeing how "clinical" everything was in the hospital was interesting .. it somehow gave me comfort I think that it's just another day and just another job and you are just another cog in the wheel so get on with it and push basically .. but obviously in another way its rather scary to think how easy it seems that you could be forgotten about coz there's just so much going on around the midwives.


We're considering trying for number 2 in a few months but after last night's episode I was left rather tearful as I'm a ninny (but I also think everyone watching it at some stage must gave had a small lump - first birth was a tough one and thinking number 2 may have to be elective c - but I'm even more petrified of that (needles and stuff..) here's hoping the following episodes wear me down and I get "into" it - haha!


PS, not asking for this thread to turn onto me now - I'll be asking for help closer to the time ;-)

Actually the cameras were all fixed - ie, there was no crew or cameras pushed in anyone's faces - that's the idea anyway, that using 40 or so 'fixed cameras' controlled remotely mean you get a better or more 'honest' appraisal of what goes on, without crews interfering or reminding people to be self conscious... not sure how true that is though. But you'd expect people to be so caught up in the birth of their child they forget about a camera stuck high up on the wall!
Linzkg, how about you balance it out a bit by watching some of the 'homebirth diaries' (I think they're on sky?)? So you can see that a straightforward labour & birth can be different, & some even say enjoyable! Particularly as I rather think the whole 'one born every minute' series will continue in similar style to the first programme.

After all the comments on here I had another try and just watched it on 4oD - fascinating. Totally agree with comments about both dads, though loved it when Tracy got her own back with the comment about his height! Also thought at times he showed traces of emotion so maybe it's just bravado - still unforgivable though, laughing with his son at the contractions! what?! i'd love to see him cope with just one!


However I did find the midwife Tracy had a bit headgirlish/PE teacher ish with the 'baby's had enough, you just need to push him out now) - because her birth was quite simialr to mine in some ways, though in the end my baby got completely stuck and so we had to have forceps, and though my mw was great she took a similar tack with me and it really didn't help! It's a personal thing I guess. But I think when you'r enot actually getting the urge to push it's really hard. I must say, much like you Linz, I am a bit nervous about doing it all again at some stage, and it makes me think that I'd rather have a different environment - but if I have same circumstances as last time I won't get a say in the matter I guess. Glad I read this thread or I'd never have gone back and watched the prog.

The Business of Being Born is a fantastic documentary about midwife-led care and homebirths in the US (which are very uncommon). I noticed another thread about it being shown to raise money for the Albany.


snowboarder, you can view it here:


http://lifebegins.channel4.com/?cntsrc=one-born-every-minute

Did no-one else hear how slow the baby's heart rate was? That baby had to COME OUT ! She calmly alerted a colleague outside the room that the rate wasn't recovering and managed a safe delivery by encouraging the mother to push. He was a bit 'knocked off' when he came out but recovered without resuscitation.


Touchy-feely in that situation probably wouldn't have been ideal. It was obvious to me from the early stages for that woman that wasn't what she wanted and probably the midwife picked up on that. Many labouring women might be different but it seems unfair to judge the midwife on one delivery, I'm sure the family were happy enough.

Ann - I'm not judging the midwife, as I said it's just personal really - it's just that I identified with what the mother was saying and in my case, my instinct was actually right in that the baby was stuck so pushing was making his heart rate drop and my BP rise. I recognise that wasn't the case in this woman's case and think it's great she got the baby out - just saying that for me, it wasn't helpful to talk that way as it made me panic which meant I froze so there was definitely no pushing going on!

Yes Belle, you've made some valid points, I'm sorry you had a difficult time and hope it's better for you next time assuming that's what you hope for.


I like this thread, we've all read the King's versus Thomas's threads and many have given very personalised accounts. This programme allows us all to be 'judge and jury' for want of a better expression.


I have feeling more form the EDF will be tuning inn ext week!

You know, thinking about your comments Sillywoman and others, Im not that surprised that lady had trouble pushing her baby out because she really didn't seem to be relaxed or in tune with her labour.


I agree that her and her hubby had their own way of dealing with stuff but I am not convinced she was 'in the zone' to push the baby out.....do you know what I mean, does it make sense?


I took the midwives at face value and assumed their approach was because things were getting serious.....baby's heart beat was frighteningly slow. Will be interesting to see what they are like in future weeks. I suspect you only get a 'temple' birth at home or birthing centre type place.


Snowboarder, go to Channel 4 OD and search for 'One born every minute'.


Molly

x

For those (like me) who can't wait until next week, if you go onto www.channel4.com/born there are clips from loads of different moments they have shot, some gorgeous water births, some very medicalised ones. I'm desperate for another baby but I don't know if showing Mr Darling this programme will make him feel nostalgic or nauseous!


I wanted to kill that idiot smirking copper who trid to lock his wife in the loo, what a toolbag.

Brilliant programme, will def be watching next week! The husband was a complete idiot and the son was lovely (albeit I didn't get why he was in the delivery room either but hey he was more supportive than hubby - who finally sprang into action when he realised his wife needed him to be a man rather than a 5 yr old!!). Well worth watching and very well made, didn't think it showed truly how much midwives put in but it was pretty positive overall and mercifully didn't scare me to death!

Ha ha ha... I finally watched this on the 4 on demand site just to see what all the fuss was about! You are all right..it's completely compelling! And yes that copper was a total idiot. I kept shouting at my laptop and my husband was very bemused by the whole thing! (I'm not allowed to watch these sorts of "girly" programmes on the telly- harumpfhhh!)

Can't wait til next week and strangely it hasn't put me off my impending birth at all. I feel like "if they can do it so can I!"

I'm so glad you started this thread! I was also shouting at the TV (mainly "What a complete immature and insensitive PRAT!" about the husband called Steve). The bit when he started complaining about 'giving up his evening to be there' and going on about needing to walk to dog had me jumping up from the sofa in rage! No wonder that poor woman was so exhausted when it came to the time to push -she had had NO support from her husband during the early stages.


I also found it really quite weird that the 18-year-old son was in there watching the birth. He seemed a nice enough guy (especially when the father was out of the room and not trying to encourage him to laugh at the poor woman's pain) but I'm not sure I'd want my son to see 'down there' during childbirth (I'm not even sure I'd want my husband to see that!!)


In contrast to some other posters, I thought the 22-year-old boy was really sweet - he was obviously clueless about what was going on, but he tried to lend support whenever he could. Sometimes not saying anything is better than saying the wrong thing!


Can't wait for next week...

I'm quite suprised by how many of you, and others that I've spoken to about the programme, are a bit ::o at the 18 year old son being there. I thought it was lovely. Despite the Dad of the family seeming rubbish at the labour, they were obviously a close & loving family, and it seemed quite natural to me that an (almost) adult son would be interested in the process & want to be with his Mum through her labour. Also what a fantastic way for him to have one of the greatest learning experiences of his life - surrounded, and protected by his parents, who can answer questions should he have any, and shield him from the worst of it should he need it (in fact I'm convinced that this is what the Dad was doing with his mad antics - attempting to keep the atmosphere light for his son). It's certainly unusual for an older son to be present at a labour, but really - why not, if it's the right thing for them? Should birth & death really be kept so hidden away from the younger members of our society - even if their parents think they can cope with it?
Mr Pickle struggled with the concept of the son being there, but I don't think there's anything wrong with it. He wasn't there to look at his Mum's bits, and seemed to move away from the "business end" every time an examination or anything took place. I think the only time he looked was when they said the head had crowned, and I don't think he would have seen anything other than baby from the angle he was on.

I agree wholeheartedly sillywoman although I was initially surprised . It's fairly clear they are a happy family (regardless to opinions of the dad) and no doubt had discussed the issue of him being present as a family beforehand.


How many young men would have made that choice? Lots of young men will have sex if they can,(local teenage pregnancy rates are some of the highest in the UK.) That young man has seen the realities of childbirth in no uncertain terms and coped very well. He was an inspiration.

I'm with sillywoman, I think it's a good idea to involve children in childbirth. Should they ever become parents themselves, it will be good preparation. The fact his dad was acting like a total prat may make him a more supportive partner during childbirth.

I just think there are some things you don't need to share and having your own teenager son at the birth is just weird more so that he never actually offered support, and she didn't want support either as her son did ask if she wanted him to hold her hand but she said no so instead he just sat on the chair. It was just pointless and weird. He could have waited outside and then come in after the labour to see his brother, but what was the point of just sitting there and laughing at his dad's jokes? Why would a son even want to see his mum in that position? Most boys I know who absolutely love their mummies would not want to see their mum go into labour and watch her in pain.


I am all for being a close loving family but I know for sure I would not want my son there!

Each to their own.

I'm fine with a sibling being there if they want to be and think it was fab a boy of that age wanted to be. I'm sure it will help him to be a better husband and father himself one day.


Not saying it is for all, but I see nothing weird about it. Then again I grew up on a small holding, helped goats give birth, shared baths with Mum and Dad, saw them naked etc etc for as long as I remember so nudity and openess within a family group is generally very normal to me.


I think the secrecy around birthing and bodies in general is partly what leads to such fear of giving birth.


I know I sound like a right hippy now, but Im not...honest.


Would have had my 5 year old at her sisters birth if need be, but main concern was that it may scare her, especially if things went wrong. In fact it would have been fine, but she has seen the video instead!



Molly

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