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No, no epidural R&A.


It just amazes me the way the midwifes keep control in what is clearly getting to be a dodgy situation......I think they handle it magnificently. Don't honestly know if I could do that, much as I want to believe I would.

I was tempted to start this thread myself! I thought the midwife was great; the husband although flippant, I think coped in his own way which was a way his wife understood. An interesting one for dads and their perceptions of 'birthing partners'. It was interesting to see an 18 year old son present in the delivery room. He seemed like a very pleasant young man. I've got a fourteen year old son, OK, a bit younger but I'm not sure I'd want him in the room if I was having a baby now.


I enjoyed sharing with my teenagers their arrivals into the world, the programme was made in such a way that you could do so without embarrassment.

Gripping viewing. But the new dads were portrayed pretty badly: I wanted to slap the jokester, especially when he tried to lock his wife in the loo, and the other one didn't say a word - to be fair, he was probably terrified. Thought the girl who had the caesarian was so brave.

The jokester dad was incredibly annoying but his wife obviously understands his stupidity and isn't put off by it. Respect to him for having his vasectomy reversed so they could try for a 4th child.


Waiting for the baby to cry after the C section is frightening!

Didn't see this but am intrigued.


Re. waiting for babies to cry after C-section, hopefully the lady was too spaced-out to worry, when I had mine I was high as a kite on the drugs and wasn't even aware that the baby had been born despite being told by the doctors, then could hear this really far-away wailing, but it just didn't register that it was my baby at all. Which was actually a good thing, especially given that she then didn't stop crying for about 10 hours (good lungs)!

The lady was worried about her baby not crying. I felt so sorry for that poor little baby not even being able to get a cuddle from his mummy, just whisked off to have his bowels sorted out. And what is with the doctors sticking their big rubber finger in a baby's mouth?! They tried to do that to my son when he was ill in hospital and he kept gagging and crying because he hated it, I had to tell them to remove their finger from his mouth! Have they tried having someone stick a rubber finger in their mouths?! Not nice!


Also, why on earth was that lady's son trying to peek at his mother's bits when the baby was coming? No way would I want my 18 years old son trying to peek at my bits, moreover why was he even there? he was not very helpful. The dad really got on my nerves, he is a policeman, should he not be able to be better under pressure?


I was all teary however when the babies arrived safely!

What a great programme.


I don't think the son was trying to peek at her bits he was at angle where he was probably trying to only see from the head onwards because of the panic of trying to get the baby out quickly. I can't imagine ever wanting a son or daughter at the birth but each to their own. The poor cesarean lady was shaking so much. Glad they were both happy endings.

Oooh, lovely stuff. I watched it last night (but fell asleep as can't seem to get much past 9.30pm these days!), so I watched it in it's entirelty this morning.


Agree with extremely irritating husband, but also agree that clearly wife understood the way he worked his antics didn't seem to p** her off as much as they did me! She did say that they were a joking kind of couple. Thought their son was lovely, completely understood him looking to see as baby's head was descending - surely human instinct. Not 'bits' he was looking at, rather the birth of a baby. Who wouldn't want to witness that miracle if they got the chance? If Mum wasn't OK about the possibility of him seeing her bits at some point in the process then I'm guessing she wouldn't have allowed him there in the first place (though she did say earlier on she want him to - but as things become more intense that sort of stuff i.e. dignity seems to matter less)?


Don't entirely agree about the Midwives though. I was very disappointed and saddened by how out of touch they seemed to be with the 'sacred' element of birth. I recently read a lament written by a local Doula about the loss of this, and how she wished that birth took place somewhere like a library or a temple; somewhere where the process of birth and the birthing woman were treated as sacred - requiring absolute attention and a hushed, respectful atmosphere, and this was very much in my mind as I was watching this programme. The Midwives asked the woman questions and issued instructions whilst the woman was in the full throws of a contraction - how disconnected is that? She was having discussions with the Son & Dad when she should've have been focussing her attentions & ministrations on Mum. Whilst I understand that maybe she was seeking to reassure Son & Dad of the normality of the process somehow her actions didn't sit easy with me. Also I didn't see any physical contact between the midwives & the women having their, where were the reassuring hugs, or supportive touches, where was the face to face eye contact. It may be that these bit's ended up on the cutting room floor, but I was greatly saddened by the care these women seemed to receive in this programme. Technically fautless, but surely midwifery is more than technical know-how? Where was the love?

I was in tears watching this. It was so fascinasting to have a fly on the wall view of both a natural and c-section birth. Having had one of each, I was particularly interested in the c-section as I was so out of it I don't remember much of mine.


I agree that the midwives were technically great, but it wasn't the "holistic" experience a great birth can be, maybe thats just busy hospitals for you? I'm looking forward to seeing the water birth.


I can now remember every minute of how bad it is when the babies head crowns - OUCH!


Of course I still got straight onto my husband about having another one though lol. Time really must erase the worst of the memories....

Interesting about the "holistic" approach... from a purely personal point of view I would have hated it if the midwives were touchy feely with me during both of my births. I wouldn't even let my husband near me, my way of dealing with it was to completely withdraw into myself and deal with the pain - I found being touched made me lose my concentration. So for me, a midwife getting on with her job was exactly what I wanted.


I really felt for the young couple who's baby needed surgery to correct his bowels, they were so scared, and not being able to cuddle the baby must have been so hard.

Pickle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Interesting about the "holistic" approach... from

> a purely personal point of view I would have hated

> it if the midwives were touchy feely with me

> during both of my births. I wouldn't even let my

> husband near me, my way of dealing with it was to

> completely withdraw into myself and deal with the

> pain - I found being touched made me lose my

> concentration. So for me, a midwife getting on

> with her job was exactly what I wanted.

>

> But Pickle - no good midwife is going to force 'touchy feelyness' on you, just offer it up should you want it. But that's not really even my point. Loads of women don't want to be touched in labour (me amongst them), but that's not the same as wanting to have you're experience respected & having physical comfort & reassurance there on offer should you want/ need it. A good midwife will take her cue's from you surely? I didn't see this even being offered, or possibly even thought about. As Mellors said it's probably just busy hospitals for you, but I felt there were plenty of missed opportunities in the situations we saw. I'm feeling so sad, disappointed and disillusioned by the 'sausage factory' aspect of that labour ward. Women deserve so much better.

I think it maybe depends on the whole process from conception to birth. My first birth was medicalised, in St Thomas' at its busiest time with a stream of midwives and other people I didn't know oming in and out cin a bright room, and no water birth etc. No way were they getting their hands on me (in fact I found their constant wittering immensely irritating!). 3 days later I had a c-section.


Second time I knew my fabulous midwives, and loved them like friends. I was in deep,warm water in a quiet, softly lit room in a special birthing centre, felt 100% comfortable, held their hands, had a marvellous neck and shoulder massage and popped out a huge baby naturally in 6 hours with no pain relief. I trusted them 100% and it was marvellous.


I am certain that the method of these two deliveries wholy depended on the type of care/holistic experience from start to finish. I just couldn't relax properly first time, and I am sure thats why I failed to progress and things went from bad to worse.


I am with Sillywoman on this one. I just don't think busy hospitals can provide the intense, personalised care (be that hands on or hands off) that we would all love.

HeidiHi Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------


> what is with the doctors sticking their big rubber

> finger in a baby's mouth?! They tried to do that

> to my son when he was ill in hospital and he kept

> gagging and crying because he hated it, I had to

> tell them to remove their finger from his mouth!

> Have they tried having someone stick a rubber

> finger in their mouths?! Not nice!


We often give babies a finger to suckle on during blood tests to try and settle them - similar soothing affect to a dummy - as its a time that they are upset it can take a little while to realise the fingers there to settle them but personally I've never gagged a baby doing this (there isn't that far a finger can really get into a babies mouth!)and will often encourage the parents to do this themselves rather than it being a completely strange finger.


We often use a sugar solution to dip our gloved finger in as it acts as a temp analgesic (babies are too young to use anaesthetic cream pre bloods) - if we can settle the baby it is then easier and quicker to do tests on them.


Am watching the programme at the moment (in a fug of post-night shift) and have missed seeing the Dr's popping their fingers in the babies mouth, but if it was post the c-section they were probably suctioning as the fluid doesn't clear from a babies airway as it does when they are (literally) squeezed out during a regular delivery.

buggie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HeidiHi Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

>

> > what is with the doctors sticking their big

> rubber

> > finger in a baby's mouth?! They tried to do

> that

> > to my son when he was ill in hospital and he

> kept

> > gagging and crying because he hated it, I had

> to

> > tell them to remove their finger from his

> mouth!

> > Have they tried having someone stick a rubber

> > finger in their mouths?! Not nice!

>

> We often give babies a finger to suckle on during

> blood tests to try and settle them - similar

> soothing affect to a dummy - as its a time that

> they are upset it can take a little while to

> realise the fingers there to settle them but

> personally I've never gagged a baby doing this

> (there isn't that far a finger can really get into

> a babies mouth!)and will often encourage the

> parents to do this themselves rather than it being

> a completely strange finger.

>

> We often use a sugar solution to dip our gloved

> finger in as it acts as a temp analgesic (babies

> are too young to use anaesthetic cream pre bloods)

> - if we can settle the baby it is then easier and

> quicker to do tests on them.

>

> Am watching the programme at the moment (in a fug

> of post-night shift) and have missed seeing the

> Dr's popping their fingers in the babies mouth,

> but if it was post the c-section they were

> probably suctioning as the fluid doesn't clear

> from a babies airway as it does when they are

> (literally) squeezed out during a regular

> delivery.




It was a clip where they showed the baby with his bowels out all wrapped in the clingfilm with a cannula and a blue rubbered finger in his mouth, think it was a preview of next week's programme. I just remembered them doing it to my son with the sugar solution and he was getting more and more worked up and gagging, they asked me to do it too with my finger, I used my pinky and obviously no gloves, he did not gag but he didn't like it. My son won't even have a dummy in his mouth, he gags with that. That approach just didn't work for my little boy but he is strong willed and was fighting to be left alone.


My labour was clinical, my midwife spent most of the time gossiping with my birth partners, I did not get any reassurance, physical contact, or even eye contact. I was not updated at all on anything, I think I could have done a lot better in labour had it not been so cold and clinical.

Smiler Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I stuck my little finger in my daughter's mouth in

> desperation, it did work, but was told off by a

> nasty night-worker who said "you'll never

> breastfeed doing that"! Argh.

>

> She was wrong though.



Ahhh they ALL have an opinion in the hospital and usually it is all different ones. I had half the staff telling me not to put salt in the bath to help with my healing where I had an episiotomy and the other half telling me to make sure I put salt in the bath to help with the healing. My mum got told off for not wrapping my son up in hat, vest, babygro, and blanket despite the ward being hot and another midwife came in and stripped my son off his hat etc saying it is too hot. And as for the breastfeeding? Gosh don't give me started on all the conflicting advice I was given. I just could not wait to get home and be left to it!! If I had money I would have done it the Mellors way because there was really no reason for me to have endured a episiotomy and ventouse, when I went back to Kings to through my files, the doctor agreed that she does not understand why it went the way it did. I just think it went wrong from when the Trainee Midwife inserted the pessary wrongly,plus I was on edge that my mum was not allow to stay with me, and there was a bin next to my cubicle so I had visitors from the other ladies constantly hovering around to use the bin putting me on edge, I could hear everyone else in pain, with their babies etc, it was just strange, uncomfortable and odd. It seriously did disturb me everything that went on, but I just blocked it out and focused on my son ( and trying to get through the horrible pain I was left in during my recovery).

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