whats a breastfeeding counsellor and where do we get one?

[iaineasy]

the missus is having a lot of trouble with her breasts and seems to spend alot of time in tears which is heartbreaking for me(as i dont know how to help) and her, we think she may need a little help but are not sure who to ask, we would be happy to pay someone to help, does anyone have any suggestions?

hugs as ever

easy.x

[Polly D]

Ring one of these helplines and they'll first give you advice and reassurance over the phone, and if there's someone within their org who lives nearby they'll try and send them round:

http://www.nct.org.uk/info-centre/getting-help/helplines

http://www.breastfeedingnetwork.org.uk/breastfeeding-helplines.html

http://www.laleche.org.uk/pages/about/helpline.htm

I can't remember which one I rang but I managed to get the help of a lovely woman for 45 minutes on the phone, and she offered to send someone round but it was okay in the end. Also, Anna could go to the breastfeeding cafe at the top of Barry Road - in the church - on Monday morning.

It'll be okay.

[Pickle]

Hi Iain & Anna,

I had a lot of trouble in the early weeks, and rang all of the places mentioned above to absolutely no avail, which was the most frustrating and upsetting thing ever! I ended up using a private lactation consultant called Jill Dye.

Jill can be contacted on 07816 136 477. It's been three years since I used her (thankfully I didn't need her when my 2nd child was born), but back then she came out to my house the day after I'd contacted her. She's lovely. I was on the verge of giving up when I rang her (C was about 8 weeks old by this stage), but after spending a couple of hours with her she gave me my confidence back, showed me some brilliant techniques, and from that day on it got better.

With help it will get better x

[Fuschia]

there is bf support via kings

"The Infant Feeding Co-ordinator provides advice and support for all types of infant feeding and can be contacted on 020 3299 3833. Information about support groups and drop-in clinics can be found on King's Breastfeeding Message Line on 020 3299 4321 (this is a recorded message only). "

[iaineasy]

Thanks so much pickle we phoned Jill and she sounds lovely, she is coming to visit tomorrow so fingers crossed and whats more when I told Anna she smiled a face cracker and thats worth all the money in the world!!

your the best

hugs hugs hugs.xx

[ryedalema]

There's a brilliant lady called Clare Kedves at Kings - she's the Infant Feeding Coordinator and Breastfeeding Councillor. She's been doing it about 50 years and is somewhat of an evangelist. Ask for her through Kings switchboard.. She really helped us with Cassie, who had a tongue tie (don't ask!). I believe people get referred to her from the whole of the South East - so we're very lucky that she's on our doorstep.

There's also breastfeeding cafes that you can try (sound like your worst nightmare but are in reality a bunch of ladies sitting around supporting each other so quite nice - and very private). There's one at the Church at the end of Barry Road, one on the 4th floor of Peckham Library and one in Deptford - your midwife or health visitor should have a list of them.

Good luck with it - it can be heartbreaking if it's difficult (sort of attacks your worth/purpose as a woman) but I'm told that encouragement and perseverance can get anyone through it (Clare's words!).

[candj]

Can also recommend Clare Byam Cook's book "What to Expect When You Are Breastfeeding." Clare was absolutely brilliant when I was breastfeeding both of mine (and having difficulty with my first) and her book is very helpful and informative. Sadly, she's not local as she is in Barnes so Anna is better off going with the above local recommendations. Good luck to Anna!

[iaineasy]

Dunno why but I read that as Clare Byams cook book! hahaha I thought why would you cook breast milk ,does it make it more sterile??

Thanks for all the advice I'm off to do the washing up.

hugs

[sillywoman]

hmmm, Clare Byam-Cook is something of a hot potato at the moment. She had no breastfeeding qualifications and last registered as a midwife back in the 80's - so her credentials are really dodgy. Add to that she recently likened breastmilk to being like coca-cola to a childs teeth (hence the hot potato) and you might want to steer clear of her. As Candj said - stick with your local recommendation (but make sure you check her credentials - there's a few dodgy one's out there, as in any profession).

Agree with Ryedalema that actually Clare Kedves would have been your best bet. Local, free & impecable creds.

Good luck with whatever you do though, sore nipples & breastfeeding troubles are just a nightmare.

edited to say; this might give you a sense of the currently raging 'claregate'

http://one-of-those-women.blogspot.com/2010/01/urgent-appeal-for-coca-cola-for.html (apologies for going off topic Iain, & that I don't know how to hyperlink)

[iaineasy]

well all views are worth a look in my opinion so thanks for te info I will have a read.

hugs

[The Nappy Lady]

Iain, you seem like such a lovely hubby, Anna is a lucky lady. It is heartwarming to see your posts on here doing all you can to help her with new Mum issues.

Really hope you both get sorted, I was also going to suggest Claire Kevdis at Kings as I know she has sorted out so many ladies who have been struggling.

Really hope things improve quickly for you, breastfeeding can be such a joy once you've got it sussed.

Hang in there Anna!

Molly

xx

[ryedalema]

I also just wanted to say that it's absolutely not the end of the world if you choose to bottle feed. I feel there's so much pressure out there to 'breast is best'. My brother and I were bottle fed and it did us no harm (gibber, gibber). Seriously though - we've never had any serious illnesses, are hardly ever sick with colds/flu etc and have perfect teeth (no fillings or removals).

The main thing for a happy, healthy baby is happy, healthy parents. If you guys get stressed out with bfing - shrug your shoulders, shed a few tears and reach for the Aptimil :)

All the very very best x

[hanstands]

Hiya Iain - I feel for you all. I had terrible problems at the start and it was the [many different] ladies at the end of the 'La Leche League' helpline that helped me [i used to call them day or evening and they always were happy to talk and their advice and support was humbling and extremely helpful] - all were great, some were better than others - most really kind and sensitive. I would also be in tears quite alot but they were fine with all that - National number [which is the one I called] is 0845 120 2918. There is also a LLL Mums and babies group that meet up at a Mum's home in Forest Hill, open to all Mums, for support and advice, on once a month, the leader of the group is called Elena, if you want her number please pm me and I'll send it back. I really didn;t regret persevering through the hard bit - was really really worth it for us [but I know this is not the case for all].

[Goodliz]

Hi Iain and Anna

There is loads of help in the area as the girls have mentioned above. It is really worth getting the support. You are still in the early days stage at the moment so don't worry if you are finding it hard. I found BFing my first very, very hard but after alot of support from many of the places/ people listed above I got there. It took a good few weeks/ months but it happened and got much easier and I then BF for a year.

In my opinion the books that say it should be easy straight away are lying! I always think that the skin on your nipples is like the skin on your lips. Think back to when you first started going out with your partner and could not stop snogging - ending in stinging and chapped lips!!! Sorry, I've had 2 glasses of wine and sound weird I know.

Anna, you may also be tearful due to lots of things like hormones all over the place, sleep deprivation and just dealing with a new baby. Not easy for anyone. Many of us have been there too.

Good luck to all 3 of you. You will get there.

x

[Ko]

when did your partner have her baby? if its less than 4 weeks ago, then ring the community midwives at kings (there's an east team and west team i think).

i had them visit until baby was 4 weeks old, they can come every 2nd day, or less frequently if you want, and they are available every day on the phone. good thing is that they will come to your home and are used to stressed women who have just given birth and are probably asked the same questions time and time again. i saw 3 different midwives from the team due to the first midwife going on annual leave, but they were all great and very helpful (much different to the midwives at kings whom i encountered during my ante-natal care!)

[iaineasy]

Anna and I have been really touched by all the kind words and great advice, it's really nice to know people are routing for us and that we are not the only ones having this difficult start,Elsabel slept through till 5 am this morning giving us both a good sleep and the world seems a nicer place this morning. We have started to try and get Elsa into some kind of routine as before all she would do is suck or cry but she seems to be responding to this and hope fully it should get easier from here on in. Maybe giving her one bottle of formula a day will give Anna a chance to rest the boob and I will get to feed our baby.:)) But will we need to get a pump? will doing that disrupt the boob of good fortune? we live and learn it seems.

[Polly D]

Go for it Iain and Anna. I wanted to echo ryedalema's comments. Turning to the bottle can work all round! When my son was 6 weeks old we introduced a bottle of formula at bedtime so my husband could give me a break and I could sleep either side of that feed - it saved all our lives I believe. Sorry if that sounds a little dramatic but really, after feeding every hour for first 6 weeks it was a massive turning point as he then began to sleep for longer.

Re the pump - you'll need one if you want to try expressing first. We tried this when he was 3 weeks old but finding the time and energy to express even 100ml became just one more stressful thing to do and so at 6 weeks I stopped expressing and he had one bottle of formula. Don't be afraid of it, it's not poison.

I believe supplementing baby E's feed with one bottle will reduce A's milk supply but if you plan to do this regularly then it's no problem. She will still continue to produce enough milk for the rest of the feeds.

One more piece of advice: if you want to give her the bottle, try it sooner rather than later.

Quite sure there will be others who totally disagree with my 'advice', and of course it's all about choice and finding what works for you, but I remember feeling so guilty about the bottle and now I can't believe I wasted any thought - and lots of tears - on it at all.

[Pickle]

I've got a breastpump that I'll bring with me on Tuesday, I advertised in on here but the sale fell through, so you guys are welcome to have it.

I agree that it's a good idea to try introducing a bottle earlier rather than later - C had a bottle of expressed milk from very young due to his tongue tie and took to it no problem. We didn't try a bottle with M until she was about 6/7 weeks and she absolutely refused to take one until she was 13 months! For C I got into the habit of expressing every morning, and then Mr Pickle used that milk for the feed around 10.30pm - was an absolute godsend as meant I could (in theory) go to bed early in the evening and sleep through till his next feed at around 3am.

Hope it goes well with Jill today x

[Ko]

glad to hear you both got some sleep xxx

when they are so tiny, their tummies are so small and they get so tired easily. so they find it hard to take too much milk in one go, making it seem like constant feeding. hang on in there. when they start smiling after a few weeks, that will make it soooo worth it!!!

[iaineasy]

Well I have to say that Jill the consultant came today and lifted a massive weight off our shoulders, she spent a couple of hours with Anna and really seemed to make a difference. I would thouroghly reccomend her if anyone needs her number please send me a PM and I will be happy to pass it on. Thanks pickle for putting us in touch hope fully the things she told us will iron out the problems but we shall have to wait and see, how exciting!!

Its the little things that you lovely forumites do to help and support each other that can make a very big difference to how people feel and for that,I for one am very greatful indeed.

heart felt thanks and extra special hugs to you all.xxx

[lorraineliyanage]

Glad that the breastfeeding counsellor worked out, it's so hard in the beginning. I had no idea what I was doing at all and was in lots of pain, but I did find the support group at Peckham library really useful. Also we introduced one bottle of formula as day from 2 weeks (I know, I know, but in my defence I did have to go back to work then) and it was a lifesaver, if only to give my sore nipples a rest. 16 months later, my little one is still happily munching away on the boob so it worked out well for us, plus gave us some much needed rest in the early days!

[cynthia80]

I'm so pleased the lactation consultant was good. If Anna has any more problems I would recommend seeing Katie Fischer 020 8662 0184 / 07949 176776 . She's a private lactation consultant based in Croydon but she runs a great breastfeeding cafe (?2 donation) on a Monday morning.

ADDISCOMBE BABY CAF? (Katie Fisher) 10.00am ? 12.00noon St Mildred?s Centre,30 Bingham Road, Addiscombe CR0 7EB

It's about a 20 minute drive from ED but well worth it. She is a wealth of knowledge on all things breastfeeding and also works for the tongue-tie clinic at the hospital. I found the cafe a huge support and carried on going, despite the distance, even after she had resolved all of our issues.

Good luck with it all!

[Fuschia]

If you are inclined to offer some formula do thik it through, though... I would have been terribly upset if Mr F had suggested offering formula to any of ours.. partly because I would have felt he didn't think I was coping.. because if he wasn't too fussed about the importance of breatsmilk why was I working so hard at it.... but now I know a bit more about it, in cas enipple confusion arose, because offering even one bottle of formula will affect the baby's gut PH and can sensitise against milk proteins and, most importantly, for some families offering formula is a bit of a slippery slope and in due course it's formula that takes up the slack at each growth spurt and breastfeeding gradually falls by the wayside.

By all means do whatever suits you, but do be informed of the implications. Heartbreaking if you do WANT to stick with breastfeeding but end up making choice that undermine it.

[gwod]

I know what you are going through. I have 4 kids,

One breast fed for 3 weeks with me crying all the time, then fed with expressed breast milk or formula,

One purely bottle fed,

One breast fed for six months with one bottle of formula per day,

One breast fed for a year.

Turns out they are all are smart and healthy, I bonded with them all and none are obese!! My only regret is that I missed the babymoon during first 3 weeks of my eldest daughter's life because I was so guilt ridden about the feeding.

Choose hugs and happiness (sounds as though you're natruals already!) and all will be well.

[Belle]

well said gwod!