About starting primary school...

[midivydale]

My son is due to start school in September and as I am not from the Uk I was wondering what is expected of children at reception? How can I help him (and myself) with the transition to school?

[Goodliz]

midivydale, the day is very much structured with their age group in mind. For example:

-lots of moving round

- Outdoor play

- carpet time

-story time

- separate play times for the little ones and usually earlier lunch too.

The first week usually consists of shorter days in order to ease them in gently.

The teachers, TAs and other staff are experts at dealing with the children and I'm sure your son will have a super time.

With regards to things to help him perhaps some activity books that encourage them to write over letters and numbers and make shapes as it all helps with co-ordination and pencil grip.

Verbally sequencing things like days of the week.

Alphabet.

Counting.

You probably do all that anyway.

Sorry I'm on my lunch so rushing back now.

I'm sure lots of other people will come on and reassure you and give you some ideas.

[Saffron]

My daughter's nursey helped children transition to reception by practising changing clothes for PE and carrying lunch trays. Sounds boring but they made it fun, and my daughter was excited about it too. She was excited about doing 'big kid' stuff. Hope it goes well. xx

[Convex]

hey,

did you visit any schools? i only ask as i found it very reassuring - the reception classes were very similar to nursery!

one reception teacher, when asked about how kids cope, said it wasn't uncommon for kids to take impromptu naps and the schools i visited all seemed very accepting of how young kids are when they start and having appropriate expectations.

in any case we are starting at the same time and I'm mostly worried about how on earth i am going to manage drop off and pick up!!!!

[midivydale]

Thank you all for replies, edited my first post quite abit so thank you Goodliz for responding to the first one.

Yes I visited schools and were reassured by some more than others :)

I am sure it will be fine, I always worry about these things. His nursery have no concerns about how he will cope with the transition, they think he will really enjoy "big school".

We shall see, I am trying to help him with things that he finds more challenging (mainly fine motor skills such as writing and cutting).

[newtoedf]

It's a big deal when your first child starts reception but with the benefit of hindsight I can see that it was a much bigger milestone for me as a parent than it was for my daughter. Reception is part of the early years foundation stage so it is the same framework as nursery and it's all about learning through play. There is a bit more formal learning on the carpet but that won't start until after all the children have settled in and the teachers think the class is ready.

If I had my time again, I wouldn't worry about trying to prepare my child for starting school (because it is such a gentle start)but I would make the most of the freedom to go off for a day out in the middle of the week while I still could. My eldest is in year 3 now and I am still struggling to come to terms with the tyranny of the school calendar.

[snowboarder]

I also think that a child who has been to full time nursery totally breezes starting school. My youngest started last September, was used to having half a week at nursery and half a week with the nanny. He was absolutely ready to leave nursery, he couldn't wait, and literally ran into school! His school didn't bother with the nightmare that is 'settling in' which I was glad about as I think he'd have found it confusing, and he went straight into full days and after school club till 6pm on his second day (Eeek!!). He is only just 5 now so middle of the age bracket for the year. There's still loads of playing and they seem to love being 'big boys'.

I know that people say children start school early in this country (sorry I saw your first post) - but surely it's just called something else? Like kindergarten? And most 4-5 year olds are in some sort of regular childcare setting?

Anyway. Try not to worry - I'm sure it will be fine. Let us know how he gets on!

[landsberger]

-------------------------------------------------------

> My son is due to start school in September and as

> I am not from the UK I was wondering what is

> expected of children at reception? How can I help

> him (and myself) with the transition to school?

The school themselves usually lets you know what children should be able to do at reception - to be able to feed and dress/undress themselves unaided, be toilet trained and be able to take themselves to and from the same. These tend to be non-negotiables.

Some primary or infant schools want children to be able to count to 10 and/or write their name, but it's not a catastrophe if they don't - these tend to be desirables rather than compulsory items as children develop at their own pace and some will have been to nursery and some not, some will have supportive parents and some not.

Have a look at a similar thread from Netmums about 5 years ago - not that much has changed!

http://www.netmums.com/coffeehouse/children-parenting-190/primary-school-age-4-11-years-60/898528-what-expected-children-reception-class.html

[pilsbury]

The only thing I would add to the others - don't underestimate how knackered they will be for the first few weeks/months - my usually lovely little girl turned into a demon child post 3.15pm from september to about november. I think they are concentrating so hard in school in being well behaved and making friends and learning new things etc, that they are just utterly exhausted come the end of the day. So my tip would be - don't arrange too many after-school activities for the first few months, let him/her just do whatever they feel like (some like to run out their stress in the playground, others just want to slob out in front of TV).

[katgod]

recognising his own name when it is written down, so he knows which peg is his, which jumper is his when they are all in a pile somewhere. I don't think any Reception class in a statae school would expect further reading or writing skills beyond that. Holding a pencil correctly. Knowing when he needs the loo. Being able to zip his coat up.

It is quite relaxed.

[midivydale]

Thanks everyone! Seems this pencil thing may need some attention...

[Pickle]

I disagree. Holding a pencil is something they learn in reception, don't worry about it beforehand! Try to relax about the whole process, reception is actually pretty gentle.

[midivydale]

Thanks Pickle for your reassurance, both on this and the other thread! X

[LondonMix]

It wouldn't hurt to get him using a pencil though. My sister in law is a reception teacher and boys tend to struggle a bit more with writing as they don't get as much practice colouring in to fine tune motor skills. She's told me it can be a bit of a stumbling block so if you gently introduce it into his ordinary play, it might be helpful all the same.

[midivydale]

Yup, I hear you LM. A definite stumbling block in our house. We do need to practic on fine motor skills, he just has NO interest in anything crafty, at all. I bought some batman pencils the other day, hoping they might do the trick.

[bawdy-nan]

Broadly, I'd agree with what's been said but would add that starting school can be tough, especially if your child isn't as 'ready' as some and schools handle this in different ways. You're right to identify the fact that for some children the regimentation of school is too much at 4. Some children would probably do better starting later. Other children seem to like it but show terrible signs of stress as posters have described.

Whatever happens the experience in unlikely to be entirely perfect or entirely awful. They'll likely find something to like and the first few years are as much about learning to be in the school environment as learning how to identify and deploy a semi-colon or read. There's bound to be some bumps. But that's ok.

Also, a more challenging start doesn't necessarily mean an ongoing school disaster zone. I speak from experience, having had 2 children with different temperaments have very different experiences of the school early years. Eventually the child that's "too young" gets older and better able to fit in and meet the demands of a school day. Both of mine are very happy now and thriving. My advice would be to roll with it a bit, be kind and not worry too much.

I suppose one of the things that strikes me about your post is that you want to "prepare" your child for school. It's understandable, of course, but perhaps one of the most challenging things about a child starting school, as a parent, is that you are having to relinquish control a little. You have to let your child go into an environment without you and it feels scary. They have to do it without you. (I should say that this feeling keeps on coming at every push of your child towards independence and I feel it now my children are teens). Fortunately, as many posters have identified, the primary school early years are quite a sunny and kind place.

[Norfolkvillas]

I think there are some things you can do to prepare your child, and it's not about control, it's just about being able to foresee how school might be different to what's gone before, and introduce some of the more mundane things ahead of time.

I did a bit of googling before my son started, and over the summer, we practised a list of things which included Carrying a lunch tray

School shoes on and off

Recognising your school bag amongst many others (looking for the name tag and the particular key rings we had attached)

Putting your hand up to ask questions

Asking to go to the loo

Wiping your own bum

PE kit on and off

Introducing yourself to new friends

This last one as my son was going through his pirate phase and so was in the habit of approaching other kids with a scary-sounding "argh" which I knew meant "Would you like to play pirates with me". Instead we discussed how he could tell people his name and that he liked pirates and lego and ask what their name was.

There were also a few common words that he mispronounced to the extent of not being understood by those that didn't know him, so we practiced those as well.

It was no big deal and was just a fun game to him - who knows whether it had any bearing on how happy he has been at school from day one, but I didn't see how it could hurt.

[canela]

i think it really depends on the child. tbh when my son started school i don't think he really understood what it was or why he was there, no matter how much we tried to prepare him. he was very well behaved and went along with it all, but really just saw it as a disruption to his normal life rather than being his normal life! it took him a few years to really get into it, and he is still no huge fan despite being in all the top sets etc. he kind of enjoys it but finds the day too long and tiring.

whereas my youngest had spent a few years dropping off elder brother at school and was gagging at the bit to start. loved it from day one.

[scareyt]

The most helpful thing we did over the summer before reception was meeting up with other kids due to start in his class and arranging a few play dates, so his first day wasn't just a sea of new faces. Most schools will help organise that or have some kind of welcome event at the end of the summer term where you can swap numbers with other parents.

We got a PE kit bag that's a different colour to the official school ones which is really helpful when it comes to finding his stuff in the inevitable jumble of coats and bags that builds up during the day. And having a bright coloured coat with a good strong hanging loop is good. And a cool key ring to hang on his bookbag. And being able to get dressed, put shoes on and wipe bum (and nose!). I wouldn't worry about the academic stuff at all - there is such a range of experiences and readiness and knowledge in every reception class that he's bound to be within the normal range wherever he starts from.

It's useful if he can sit still and listen to instructions and if he's used to eating the kind of food they will serve at lunchtime, if he's going to have school meals. Most schools publish a menu on their websites.

But also agree with other posters - try not to worry about it too much and just enjoy being able to go on outings while everyone else is at school!

[midivydale]

Lots of thoughts and tips, thanks everyone! We will take it in our stride and deal with the bumps as they come along. In some ways he will be ready, in others not just like most children I can imagine.

After we find out our allocated school we can make arrangements to meet with other little ones.

The days will be long with both breakfast and after school club but we will make the best of it.

Thanks for advice and thoughts everyone,much appreciated. It feels like yesterday I was posting about spd and reflux- and here we are about to start school.