going away worktrip

[mumum]

i am going on a work trip for 4 days and feel very freaked out. I have previously only left my child for 24 hours on about 3 occations, and she is now 2.5 years old. She was fine obviously. But when I have travelled alone with her to visit family, usually for a week, she desperately misses her Daddy and screams heartbreakingly for him. Not necessarily on the first night, but for a few nights down the line. Just wondering how poor Daddy will cope with her, if she starts screaming for me, just thinking it will traumatize them both. I have no option but to go, and would love to go, as I have previously cancelled an important work trip due to my separation fear, making up excuses, and have had to juggle work in an awkward way as a result. Anyone been out and back and can give me some reassurance?

[legalbeagle]

I had to go away for three nights when my daugher was 9 months old and I was just back to work from maternity leave. Like you I had no choice at all and was dreading it. When I got back it was to find that, although there had been "moments", both father and daughter were fine, and for the most part had had a lovely time together. It is very daunting, but the good thing is that your child is probably old enough to understand that you have gone away only briefly and will be back soon. She might have moments of upset but they won't last forever. Are you able to telephone her? If she responds well to phone calls it might be worth trying. If you haven't used the phone with her before try calling her a few times before you go so she gets the hang of it.

Good luck and try not to be too anxious - children are much more resilient than we think.

[EDmummy]

I used to travel for work reasonably frequently when my oldest was under 3. I, of course, was always anxious but it ended up being a fantastic opportunity for dad and child to bond. I made sure I phoned first thing in the morning and just before bedtime to say good night and prepared everyone (dad and child) as much as possible before leaving. This included making sure that all clothes were washed, easy to prepare or food I had cooked earlier was available and friends on standby if needed. I would also provide a list of things that needed to be done each day (eg., drop nappies at nursery, pick up times etc) in order to give hubby something to refer to if he became a bit overwhelmed.

No lasting damage to child 8 years later and in fact I often get asked when I am going away again because "it is great when you are away"!!

Best of luck.

[laurac]

I went away for three days back in October when my daughter was just a bit over 2 and a half (although not for work but completely frivolous trip to Paris) - I had never been away from her overnight before and she is at home with me four days a week (one day with her dad) and although very social is not great at being left (her aunt who came over this afternoon to give me some time to write an essay had to leave after half an hour as L wouldn't stay in the room with her alone??!!)

Having said that trip went absolutely fine - so well that she asked after me only once or twice and wasn't even that interested in talking to me on the phone! I was a little worried in advance so we arranged for her and her dad to go and 'camp over' at her grandma and grandad's (only as far as the wilds of Beckenham so near enough to come home if she wanted that familiarity). This worked really well and they stayed the whole three days; I also think it helped my partner out as I was probably more worried about him coping for the three days straight than I was about her - I also had other people on stand-by to come and help him out if things got desperate! Anyway, I would say that lining up a distraction/treat/something novel is a good way to go and definitely worked for us. I also told her in advance about the trip without going on about it too much- probably just a week in advance so long enough to get used to the idea without it building into a massive issue.

Good luck with your trip - I'm sure all will be fine.

[mumum]

thanks ladies, I already feel much better. That is a good idea to prepare all clothes and organize easy recipes and precooked food for Daddy to do. Just hope he doesn?t rebel and start cooking his own recipes (disaster!), or tries to find our daughters socks himself and calls me to rant about how disorganized our daughters wardrobe or any other cupboard in the house is. Which obviously is my sole responsibility.

It is nice to think of it as a great bonding opportunity for them, I am really looking forward to my trip now. Will also make sure the cleaner comes the day I return, so I don?t come back to a bomb site, hehe. But poor Daddy does surprise me with hidden superDad capacities, so who knows what can happen in 4 days!