Chick Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 How do these people survive?ONE Recently, when I went to McDonald's I saw on the menu that you could have an order of 6, 9 or 12 Chicken McNuggets. I asked for a half dozen nuggets. 'We don't have half dozen nuggets,' said the teenager at the counter. 'You don't?' I replied. 'We only have six, nine, or twelve,' was the reply. 'So I can't order a half dozen nuggets, but I can order six?' 'That's right.' So I shook my head and ordered six McNuggets (Unbelievable but sadly true...) TWO I was checking out at the local Woolworths with just a few items and the lady behind me put her things on the belt close to mine. I picked up one of those 'dividers' that they keep by the cash register and placed it between our things so they wouldn't get mixed. After the girl had scanned all of my items, she picked up the 'divider', looking it all over for the bar code so she could scan it. Not finding the bar code, she said to me, 'Do you know how much this is?' I said to her 'I've changed my mind; I don't think I'll buy that today.' She said 'OK,' and I paid her for the things and left. She had no clue to what had just happened. THREE A woman at work was seen putting a credit card into her floppy drive and pulling it out very quickly. When I inquired as to what she was doing, she said she was shopping on the Internet and they kept asking for a credit card number, so she was using the ATM 'thingy.' (keep shuddering!!)FOUR I recently saw a distraught young lady weeping beside her car. 'Do you need some help?' I asked. She replied, 'I knew I! should have replaced the battery to this remote door unlocker. Now I can't get into my car. Do you think they (pointing to a distant convenience store) would have a battery to fit this?' 'Hmmm, I don't know. Do you have an alarm, too?' I asked. 'No, just this remote thingy,' she answered, handing it and the car keys to me. As I took the key and manually unlocked the door, I replied, 'Why don't you drive over there and check about the batteries. It's a long walk....' PLEASE just lay down before you hurt yourself !!! FIVE Several years ago, we had an Intern who was none too swift. One day she was typing and turned to a secretary and said, 'I'm almost out of typing paper. What do I do?' 'Just use paper from the photocopier', the secretary told her. With that, the intern took her last remaining blank piece of paper, put it on the photocopier and proceeded to make five 'blank' copies. Brunette, by the way!! SIX A mother calls 911 very worried asking the dispatcher if she needs to take her kid to the emergency room, the kid had eaten ants. The dispatcher tells her to give the kid some Benadryl and he should be fine, the mother says, 'I just gave him some ant killer......' Dispatcher: 'Rush him in to emergency!' Life is tough. It's even tougher if you're stupid!!!! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
legalbeagle Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 I went out for the evening in Fort Wayne, Indiana. We were going to a blues club and having a few drinks, so we walked. On the way back, after quite a few drinks, we went to a fast food drive through for a burger, cos I'd got the munchies. They wouldn't serve me, because I wasn't driving. The police stopped on their way past - presumably a pedestrian is a very unusual sight in Fort Wayne. They also told me I couldn't have a burger from the drive through if I wasn't driving and helpfully suggested I go and get my car and then come back again and then I could have a burger. I pointed out I'd been drinking so that wasn't a good plan. They said it would in fact be fine. "So. I can drink drive, but I can't be walk around with a burger?""Yes Ma'am." Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277284 Share on other sites More sharing options...
iaineasy Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 haha nice one chick :)) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277304 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y'man Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 A 'gas station' attendant in Arkansas, upon noticing my accent, asked me where I was from. I told him, London. He thought for a bit then said "Which state is that in?"! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277415 Share on other sites More sharing options...
giggirl Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Yes it's all very amusing and sorry to be a wet blanket but if someone started a thread saying, for example, "Irish people are really stoopid" and then we all got on there with our anecdotes, it wouldn't take long before someone called "foul". Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277427 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SeanMacGabhann Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Except, unlike irish people, the stereotype about Americans isn't perpetuated by the occupying nationIf people started a thread highlighting some very stupid things that happened in Irish shops or whatever in 2010 I would probably nod and go "yep". that said there can be a reflex anti-americanism attitude everywhere, which does grate. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277428 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y'man Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Anecdote does not equal anti! Ba ba Black Sheep does not equal racism. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277429 Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Bob* Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Conversation in clothes shop, South Carolina, USA.Assistant (on hearing our accents): "Hey.. where you from?"*Bob*: "We're from London"Assistant: "How far's that?"*Bob*: "Ooh.. took us about 14 hours"Assistant: "Drivin'?" Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277431 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y'man Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Another gas station attendant in Georgia, back the 70's, told me, "Hey Man, I just love your accent". I told her I liked hers too, as I was rushing off to the 'bathroom'. Ten minutes later as I walked out she shouted after me, "Hey Man, I'd just love to sit on your accent for a while"! One of the most endearing things I've been told. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277439 Share on other sites More sharing options...
woofmarkthedog Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Yeah mock the stupid "Them over there" if it makes you feel betterTrouble is I've met many "Smart" people who can't change a lightbulb or the spare wheel on their carWhat's easier "Six nuggets" Or "Half a dozen nuggets" by economy of words in a "Fast food" environment, the later is a bit clunky, no ?W**F Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277446 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 The only reason I thought it might be a bit USA was the reference to"911"Don?t know if they had Woolworths in the USA, it could just as easily be London. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277450 Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Bob* Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Conversation at Sainsburys checkout in East Dulwich, London, UKCheckout Girl: "Er.. right, what's that.." (consults identification cards)*Bob*: "It's a carrot". Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277455 Share on other sites More sharing options...
giggirl Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Chick - Woolworths was an American company. Duh! Actually a very famous American company. The Woolworths heiress was married to Cary Grant and they were known as "Cash and Carry". Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277457 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y'man Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Woolworths is/was originally American. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277462 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Y'man Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Converation with an ******** friend's 10 year old daughter, where do Chickens come from? Answer, "the supermarket"! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277463 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Chick Posted December 17, 2009 Author Share Posted December 17, 2009 Forgive my ignorance! Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277481 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Oh for gods? sake. It?s not offensive to say that the Americans are fat, lazy and stupid just like it?s not offensive to say that the English are neurotic nancyboy wankers. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277486 Share on other sites More sharing options...
giggirl Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Actually Brendan, that's quite a sexist remark. Not all English people are Nancyboys. I expected more from you. Make an effort. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277494 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Brendan Posted December 17, 2009 Share Posted December 17, 2009 Sorry I meant to say ?Englishmen?. I quite like their women. Although they can keep their fucking jobs. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277499 Share on other sites More sharing options...
SteveT Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 I was visiting an american company accompanied by a Fin and a Dane, one of the american contingent asked where we were from, we explained, he said "are they democracies"? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277982 Share on other sites More sharing options...
EDOldie Posted December 18, 2009 Share Posted December 18, 2009 It's a pleasure sir, have a nice day.Thank you.You're welcomeThank you.You're welcomeThank (oh Christ, this is never going to work) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-277984 Share on other sites More sharing options...
cate Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 *Bob* Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Conversation in clothes shop, South Carolina,> USA.> > Assistant (on hearing our accents): "Hey.. where> you from?"> *Bob*: "We're from London"> Assistant: "How far's that?"> *Bob*: "Ooh.. took us about 14 hours"> Assistant: "Drivin'?"Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in Canada in case you didn't know........stop being cultural snobs. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-278190 Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Bob* Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 cate Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in> Canada in case you didn't know........stop being> cultural snobs.I didn't know that. Do they all speak with British accents there too? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-278202 Share on other sites More sharing options...
woofmarkthedog Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 Plus Mr & Mrs *Bob* wear purley "King & Queen" garb while indulging in "Touring of the Continents"They do!If you don't believe me, punch me in the stomachW**F Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-278263 Share on other sites More sharing options...
cate Posted December 20, 2009 Share Posted December 20, 2009 *Bob* Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> cate Wrote:> --------------------------------------------------> -----> > Hey, there is a London, Ontario, which is in> > Canada in case you didn't know........stop> being> > cultural snobs.> > I didn't know that. Do they all speak with British> accents there too?British accents? or do you mean London accents? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/9183-very-usa-maybe-not-believable-but-quite-funny/#findComment-278280 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Recommended Posts
Create an account or sign in to comment
You need to be a member in order to leave a comment
Create an account
Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!
Register a new accountSign in
Already have an account? Sign in here.
Sign In Now