Top Tips

[woofmarkthedog]

Oh BUSTED or what

OK back on track now here at "Top Tip"TM HQ

Imagine if Lillies have stained your favorite knitwear or blouse as you "accidentally *" brushed by them ( It happens ...)

Take a roll of a "well know adhesive tape" and holding the end reverse wrap it around your hand forming a sticky side out mitten

Then dab the "stained" area gently lifting the pesky pollen off with the tape

Bravo.... job done

Mop brow and fight the urge to drink a large measure of Gin

W**F

*But not a "Tiger Woods accidentally-on-purpose accident "

[Narnia]

If your pet snake dosen't want to eat the defrosted mouse you have given him, dont bother trying again as he is probably preparing to shed his skin which can take some time. Once shed then try feeding him again as he is likely to be very hungry by then. Saves on wasting mice and/or a call to the vet!

[woofmarkthedog]

>Re: Sticky rice new

Posted by: Declan Today, 09:31PM

Woof, perhaps you could have put this post in your Top Tips thread which you have sadly neglected of late. It had potential<

___________________________________________________________________________

Declan

Top Tip

W**F

[se23 exile]

VIZ top tips made me p*ss myself laughing when I was stoned as a student.

Actually they still make me p*ss myself, but that maybe just an age thing.

http://www.fishtank.org.uk/humour/humour.php3?articleid=61

[woofmarkthedog]

jimmy two times Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> If for any reason you need a warm compress try

> putting uncooked rice in a sock and warming up in

> the microwave. It works a treat and can be used

> again and again.

_________________________________________________________

Jimmers

Do you have a "Rice supply" business ?

Or just a wee obsession with it

**

[daizie]

LOL, maybe its his Sunday special

[The Eye]

Dog owners.

Instead of carrying on with the vain spectacle of cleaning up after your pooch so as to allow the less vigilant pedestrians to avoid the embarressment of treading in dog mess, simply start adding British Rail (or whatever PFI hoodlum now precides) luminous paint to their food. This simple addition will draw the preventative attention of the hapless 'turd trampler', in that the offending article be visible in the dark.

Think 'cats eyes'.

[SteveT]

Spectacles with scratched lenses may be improved by the use of duraglit,

which is a strange soggy woolly substance which is manufactured for brass and silver polishing,

it also removes scratches from wrist-watch glass too.

[woofmarkthedog]

Now is..

The time to look around if you're trading in or up, Christmas is a perfect time to pick up a discarded husband or wife or even

the odd widow.

House prices have dropped or stabilised & remortgages to pay the old him/ her off are hard to get. This can be deferred or even "side-stepped" so NOW's the time to splash out or trade in

Some do come with excess baggage which can effect their later performance,or even unsavory bathroom habits. Don't be put off though, seize the moment.

"Because you're worth it!"

W**F

[dulwichmum]

Oh Woof dear heart!

You are such a romantic!

[woofmarkthedog]

When.....

All the other threads have been corrupted with your nonsense

"Revive an old one"

Yes indeede

W**F

[brum]

Men! How to look 10 years younger.... Remove nostril hair. It works!

[brum]

  Quote

...see what you've done now, woof? That'll teach you to revive old threads!

You're a crazy hound - but we love you.

(Well, in a manly sense, you understand... ahem!)

[????]

Where's Daizie? She's good at these. She used to write for Viz doncha know.

[daizie]

Beans, beans, beans. Nourishing, filling, versatile and very cheap. The cheapest way to buy them is dried. You then soak the required quantity overnight and boil then next day. Black eye beans and lentils (lentils don't need pre-soaking) are the quickest cookers, needing only about 30 minutes. They can then be used in casseroles, soups, pasta sauces, curries, chilli, pasties, salads - you name it!

[????]

ice cream?

[daizie]

A SHREDDED Wheat on a stick makes a great back scrubber for the first couple of seconds of your bath.

[brum]

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Beans, beans, beans. Nourishing, filling,

> versatile and very cheap. The cheapest way to buy

> them is dried. You then soak the required quantity

> overnight and boil then next day. Black eye beans

> and lentils (lentils don't need pre-soaking) are

> the quickest cookers, needing only about 30

> minutes. They can then be used in casseroles,

> soups, pasta sauces, curries, chilli, pasties,

> salads - you name it!

mmmm... funnily enough, I ate a pile of steaming haricot beans with a delicious leg of duck and a succulent Toulouse sausage for my lunch.

[woofmarkthedog]

After...

Consuming large portions of steaming haricot beans with a delicious leg of duck and a succulent Toulouse sausage for lunch.

Do everyone a favor and have a "night in by yourself"

We do not wish to "inhale" any part of you

I thank you....

W**F

[daizie]

Will they be out of his system by Friday's drinks?

[Roll Deep]

Halfway to France, if you're lucky.

[daizie]

was just thinking of a seat by the door

[Roll Deep]

I'm sure he'll have that covered.

[brum]

Very funny, you lot. Although you may be right - particularly since I've just had a chicken and cashew nut stir fry with loads of cabbage and bean sprouts. Save that seat by the door for me please daizie.

[Narnia]

Bottom wiping. I always find that brummy, I mean baby wipes reaches those places mere toilet paper doesn't.