Question for all you computer geeks

[Loz]

Ladymuck,

When you post, you type everything into a box at the bottom of the page, OK? When you are doing that, yype the text you want as the alternative (e.g. google how to bake a cake), highlight it and then press the little button (just under where it says 'attach a file' that looks like this:

That will ask for the url (or web address: e.g. "http://www.google.com/cakes/baking.html". Type that in, click OK and Robert is your mother's brother.

[Ladymuck]

Oh THAT box...and THAT URL icon to which PGC was referring...oh my goodness you must both think me so incredibly dense...but no matter...thank you very much Loz (oh and thanks to PGC too ...sorry I couldn't understand)...

*excitedly rushes off to experiment*

[Ladymuck]

Testing Testing...here goes:

oooh I hope this works

*positions mouse over "post message" button, closes eyes as cannot bear to look, and clicks mouse)*

[woofmarkthedog]

No, not working here

W**F

*snigger*

[Ladymuck]

Oh my goodness IT WORKED!

Thanks to you both...hee hee...there's no stopping me now...woo hoo...

Oh and by the way, Bob is my friend the Bus Inspector! xxxx

Edited to say: *throws bone dowsed in phenobarbital to that mad dog*

[daizie]

Well LM I am even thicker, how do you provide a link ?

[Ladymuck]

Oh daizie, you are not thick!!! On the contrary...sharp as a...(can't think of the appropriate noun here!)...

I suspect you are probably joking - given the fabulous quirky twists and turns your sense of humour can take, but just in case...here goes (and please excuse "non-technical" explanations).

How to provide a link: by Ladymuck (I reckon this is my 15 minutes of fame, so I intending taking full advantage - feel free to humour me anybody):)):

(1) Move to the link which you wish to provide. The link is that thingamijig at the top of the page in the wotsit (that long skinny box at the top which usually contains information beginning with "http" or "www").

(2) Once there, copy all the thingamijig from the wotsit. I do this by placing mouse over text, clicking so as to highlight it all, and then typing "control c" to copy the thingamijig.

(3) Return to where you were previously and position yourself precisely where you wish the link to go within the body of your message.

(4) Then press "control v". This simply "pastes" your previously "copied" link to where you now wish to place it.

(5) Hopefully, Bob my friend is your Bus Inspector!

Good Luck xxx

*crosses fingers in the hope that nothing has been omitted*

[SeanMacGabhann]

now, whilst this thread has brightened up my day considerably, and those instructions are a thing of joy LadyM, it thas left me wondering how some of you managed to find the forum in the first place

[daizie]

Ah LM, I was serious! Cheers! So why doesnt it always work then ?

[Ladymuck]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> now, whilst this thread has brightened up my day

> considerably, and those instructions are a thing

> of joy LadyM, it thas left me wondering how some

> of you managed to find the forum in the first

> place

Well you have made my day Mr. S!

Incidentally...ahem...I didn't...my hubby did (*looks embarrassed*)...he...ahem...registered me too...

[Loz]

Having read your instructions, LM, I'm confused...!

Agree with Sean, though, they are a thing of joy. I laughed out loud!

[Ladymuck]

daizie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Ah LM, I was serious! Cheers! So why doesnt it

> always work then ?

Oh dear, are you saying that my 15 minutes of fame have been wasted? (*collapses into a pathetic heap and wails*)

Can any of you (genuine) computer geeks please help daizie...I am in no condition to do so...(*still wailing*)...Sean perhaps? PGC? Loz? HAL9000?

*contemplates how to end it all*

[daizie]

Its Ok LM . I can live without it.. Fcuk knows what i'd start posting if I knew how ..

[SeanMacGabhann]

daizie - I thought you posted a link to some car-related site a while back?

anyway to help with the basics, teh most important thing someone needs to know with these problems is not "it doesn't work" but at what point in the whole thing is it not working, what did you do just before it didn't work, how do you know it's not working, and what is the screen saying/doing

In LadyM's steps above - it could be that when you click on the long address in Step 2 for exampl, your browser is not highlighting the whole address but maybe just a word or a letter - how much of it goes dark in other words?

[daizie]

Sean i typed the www.con thing with one finger :)

[SeanMacGabhann]

Well thank heavens you weren't pointing us to here then!

[Ladymuck]

Loz Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Agree with Sean, though, they are a thing of joy.

> I laughed out loud!

*does a little curtsey*

[katie1997]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> now, whilst this thread has brightened up my day

> considerably, and those instructions are a thing

> of joy LadyM, it thas left me wondering how some

> of you managed to find the forum in the first

> place

Its a very good question - I don't think I would have found the forum or even thought of looking for such a thing if someone local hadn't already pointed it out to me (who also happens to be a bit of an IT expert) ;-)

I'm sure I pasted a link purely by luck than anything else..glad that Lady M's instructions are on here for posterity - the person brave enough to ask the questions helps the others who may be afraid to ask so its great :)

[Ladymuck]

Well, having now mastered how to do the "blue text thing" and having a ball with it, I would now like to progress to the next level.

So, can any of you lovely computer geeks please advise me how to (and this is really advanced stuff) place a picture within a post...i.e. not a link or an attachment, but the actual pic. (Does that make sense?).

I would only ask that you be so kind as to take the following into account.

1. thick as three planks

2. brain size of (large) pea

3. ability to process only the most basic/simplest of instructions.

Thanking you in advance.

*awaits excitedly*

[nashoi]

Instructions here and somewhere quiet to practice

[Ladymuck]

Thank you nashoi- I shall go and experiment. Don't go away though - you'd be amazed at just how incredibly dense I can be with regard to technology.

*rushes off to have a play around*

[Ladymuck]

Testing testing...

http://altered-states.net/barry/update220/Genius-choice.jpg

Well! That was easy!! I only needed PGC's instructions...didn't need to go any further...must be getting cleverer...

I'm absolutely elated!

Thank you Nashoi.

Brain now size of a broad bean.

*goes off in search of new mischief*

[woofmarkthedog]

Ladymuck Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Well! That was easy!! I only needed PGC's

> instructions...didn't need to go any

> further...must be getting cleverer...

> Brain now size of a broad bean.

>

> *goes off in search of new mischief*

__________________________________________________________

Honest..

I tried to stop her really I did

But like me once the power is in your hands....

Oh "curdled milk"

I ended up in "image" hell..

http://www.cheeseontour.com/xxx/images/stripbanner.gif

Oh yeah LICK me.....HARD .....

W**F

[stingray]

If you really want to have a giggle with someone, then press the right hand shift key 5 times. This turns on something called sticky keys, and is sure to drive people absolutely insane when they cant work out why Ctrl, Shift and ALT all start doing strange things!

(to turn off - just hit right shift 5 times again).

Well.. April 1st is just around the corner.

[ruffers]

Or go to google on their pc when they're away from it and reset the language in preferences. For instant effect choose something obviously foreign, or Klingon. For a slightly longer term giggle change it to Elmer Fudd, which basically changes all the letter r's to w's.