What to do if suspect neighbour mistreating a child

[BB100]

It should not be up to you to decide whether this child is being abused or not. If you feel uncomfortable with how this child is being treated you should report it and leave it to the authorities to decide. I know social services don't have the best track record but they do have the experience to know what to do.

[Pugwash]

Verbal abuse and emotional abuse are very damaging to a child. From what I have read there seems to be older children in the household? Do they get the same treatment? If so and you can identify their school - you may feel happier talking to the Head or the nomimated Safeguarding person in the school.

I had a neighbour several years ago who ignored her 2 under school age children - they ran out in the street in early hours of the morning. At one time a man approached me quite concerned as the 3 year old was walking in her pjs in the main road. He was apprehensive to approach her in case he was suspected of child abuse. He had taken to knocking on everyone's doors to see if they knew the child. When I went out in the street with him, I recognised the girl and took her home. Her mother was not at all concerned - I said if that there were any more situations like this I would have no hesitation in calling Social Services. My other neighbour also had concerns over the family as the new 'step father' was often heard yelling at the girls if they wet the bed. We managed to find out the nursery they attended and rang the nursery who informed us they had not seen the girls for a couple of weeks and were worried. We gave them details of what was happening and they rang the family's social worker.

I would urge anyone who suspects that a child or even an adult, is being abused physically, emotionally, financially or verbally to contact Social Services. They can do it in confidence - social workers are not allowed to inform of their informants in Safeguarding cases. Constant verbal abuse is equally damaging to a child. As a parent - I have had times when my kids were young of feeling that everything was on top of me, that I could not cope ( I had long standing post natal depression which was not picked up for a number of years) Ok this lady may have just 'lost' her partner and things are emotionaly and financially tough for her - but alerting someone in social services may not only help the child but also the mother- i.e. accessing benefits etc, providing support.

In the worst case scenario - think of Baby B - perhaps if concerned neighbours alerted social workers more - things may have been different. As responsible adults - we most follow our conscience.

[hpsaucey]

Well said Pugwash. We live in communities and should feel a responsibility and duty of care to look out for those around us who are vulnerable and need protecting. If their own carers are unable to do this for them then we MUST help. I would like to think that other people would feel the same responsibility and 'look out' for my children in the same way if necessary.

[nancysmum]

as a childminder and former foster carer, i urge you too to phone southwark social services. the team there are brilliant and will know how to offer the right support to both mother and child.

[ymenik21]

Hello All

After such a long silence am back to report the situation :)

First of all thanks all for sharing the ideas so I know now what to do,

To update you all on what happened..... couple of weeks ago the granny took the child away ,I ve notices the grandparents coming to pick them up sometimes and it looks different the way they treat her to the mum,at least that's my observation,I was dead busy with my studies and was away for a while in Cornwall and just came back and they did not seem to be there today.So don't know exactly what happened but did not hear any swearing for a while,

However if it is gonna happened again,I do do hope it won't I will call the authorities since I think that's the best think to do(thanks to the considerate mums and dads and childminders etc etc).

Hope she sorted her issues what ever they were and treating the child well.

Thanks everyone again .

hugs Sam X

[nancysmum]

thanks for keeping us updated. hx