When to move into a bed?

[Pickle]

I was hoping to get some advice from you lovely people (oh how I've missed the forum!).

My little boy will be 3 in January and still sleeps in a cot. I've never really thought anything of it, but have now started to realised that of his little group of friends he's the only one not in a bed. So I'm wondering whether I should move him?

To give a bit of history on him - he was a late walker, and his cot was still at the "newborn" level until he was 20 months as he couldn't even sit himself up (bless him!). Obviously now it's right down at the bottom setting, but he wouldn't stand a chance of climbing out even if he wanted to, and he's never even tried. It's a solid cot bed, so there's plenty of room in it.

My reservations are

- he has a tendency to "sleepwalk", which at the moment just involves him standing up in his cot while still asleep... I was a sleepwalker as a child and my Mum tells horror stories about finding me heading out the front door!

- he still has a lunchtime nap, and I know many of my friends found moving into a bed signalled the end of nap time. Anyone have children who still sleep during the day in a bed? He's definitely not ready to drop it as will happily sleep for 3 hours if I let him!

- we're currently having him wake a lot at night asking to use the toilet, so I'm not sure whether moving to a bed would make this worse (in that he'd be able to climb out, but wouldn't be able to take himself to the toilet as he's not able to pull his own pants down etc.)

- he's always slept in grobags... have others found it easy to transition from this to a duvet (I'm assuming it's not really safe to keep them in a sleeping bag once in a bed in case they try to walk around?)

Obviously it's not an issue for him, he's too young to realise the difference between a cot and a bed, but I'd be interested to hear views from you all.

P x

[Fuschia]

Y first son wore a grobag in bed. you could cut space for his feet anyway... i think make the cot into a bed first, or just take one side off, see how you go?

[Mellors]

I moved R not long after B was born as we needed his cot (poor thing - properly booted out lol). He was about 2. In hindsight I would have kept hin in as long as possible though, as it did coincide with the end of his lunchtime nap (he just used to get up and play in his room). It did help with the toilet though, as we had a potty next to the bed and he would just go himself (jammies and pull up nappies being easier to pull down than proper trousers).

I have a stairgate across his bedroom door to stop him coming out of his room and falling down the stairs, and for the first couple of weeks I put a duvet on the floor next to the bed for when he (inevitably) fell out).

I never had a problem with the change from grobag to duvet - he loved his new big boy bedding. The do do a duvet that zips down the side I think, if you want something inbetween (more like a proper sleeping bag)?

[ludoscotts]

hi E went into a big bed at 20 months purely because we are in a rented house and she has always had a single bed in her room as well as her cot. She led the way as we used to do bottle and stories in bed then lift her into the cot-she eventually stopped wanting to go in the cot and wanted to stay in the bed. we wouldnt have thought of doing it so soon if she hadnt pushed it herself. Maybe you could use a quilt in the cot to get used to bedding instead of sleeping bag and do stories with you little one in a bed seemed to work with E. We too put a gate on her room door as It was far too exciting being able to come out her room as she wanted. she generally gets out of bed once as soon as we leave the room, We just go in put her back in bed with no eye contact and dont speak to her so not to turn it into a game and she settles down and goes straight off.

basically whatever time is right for you and your little one is the best time to do it.

[legalbeagle]

My son sounds a lot like yours, he was a very late walker. He is coming up for two and a half and still naps every afternoon in his cot, and would for hours if I let him. Personally I intend to leave him in his cot until he either asks for a bed (which is what my daughter did) or is too big or unsafe in his cot. It seems as though you have lots of good reasons to leave him in a cot, and are only worrying because other children his age are in beds. But as you'll know, children develop at different rates (my daughter was the last of her friends to potty train by AGES!) so if he's happy and you're happy, why worry about moving him? He'll let you know when he's ready.

[Vik]

Hi Pickle,

My daughter is 2.5 and still in her cot, I do worry that she is one of the last still to be in a cot but my reasons are; it is a large cot bed, she has more than enough room, she is the worlds biggest fidget and ends up all over the cot! She wakes in the night to go to the toilet, she also didn't sleep through until she was just over 2 years old, and was a nightmare to actually settle to sleep. I know that if she were in a bed this would be a step backwards for us - in that she would not settle if she had the option to escape!

I understand your dilemma completely but think that if he's happy in his cot, and you're not fussed, go with it! I'm pretty sure it won't cause them any long lasting damage!

V

[The Nappy Lady]

Hi Pickle,

Lots of good advice already....a thought from me - if the cot isn't too high from the ground, try (as a prev. poster suggested) taking one side off it, and see whether he is happy/whether things improve. If not, easy to put the side back on, and not as much hassle as setting up a bed etc.

You can get gro-bags for them until they are about 13, so can keep him in one in a bed if you want, though I do understand the concern about him trying to walk in it and falling over etc.

O went into a 'big girl's bed' at 2.5 and was fine, though we do go through a few weeks of having to tell her to go back to bed - she would get up and go onto the landing etc. This is certainly a downside that you have to consider, and I think most have to deal with.

A stairgate in his doorway would certainly stop you worrying about sleepwalking though.

There are two schools of thought on 'lifting' a child to do a wee when you go to bed. One is that it helps them to get dry at night, the other is that it can actually do the opposite as they wee on the potty whilst not really awake, so it doesn't help them to learn to feel the need, wake up and get up to go. However, I know plenty who have followed both methods and sooner or later all children end up dry at night. O was such a heavy sleeper it didn't make any difference whether we lifted her or not, she was so fast asleep it took a long time for her to start to wake up when she needed the loo - she was 3.5, despite being dry by day bang on 2 years old!

I don't honestly know whether moving him into a bed is going to solve the night waking, but I guess it is worth a try - nothing to lose and plenty to gain, and if not you just put the side back on the cot.

Was last night any better than the previous night?

Molly

[knackered cow]

Hi!

I also worried about doing this too early then realised any change will take it's time to settle whenever I decided to do it!

I say do it now and get it over and done with!

As long as you think your son is safe and won't hurt himself if he falls out all you'll have to deal with is him getting out all the time which will happen at any age!

Both my children loved getting into their 'big' bed (my son was 2.5, my daughter just 2) especially when I relented and got them some naff character bedding for them!!!

If you're worried about sleep walking definitely try a stair gate at the top of the stairs. You could use one that doesn't need to be permanently fixed, even a travel gate would be good.

Best of luck...x

[malcol]

Hi ,

Just to reassure you my eldest moved into his big boy bed when he was just about to turn 3yrs. Prior to that he had made no signs of wanting to move. We had by then taken him out of his grow bag and used a cot duvet for him. The transition into his big boy bed was fine, absolutely no problems! My middle child moved from his cot to his big boy bed when he was just over two. We had been having lots of problems with him waking during the night and refusing to go back to bed. After a few AWFUL months of this my father suggested we try a bed for him and within days of moving him into a bed the waking stopped! He is still a very early riser and if any of the three are to wake during the night it will be him! My daughter is 2 yrs and still in the cot, the longer I can keep her there the better!!!

Personally I would suggest you keep him in the cot until either you feel uncomfortable with it or he does! As for the night waking, my personal and perhaps controversial suggestion would be to limit his day time nap to 1hr or thereabouts. Its possible he is just not tired enough at night!

Just a suggestion,

Good Luck

M

[minder]

Hi Pickle,

I think your reservations say it all - leave him where he is! If he's happy and not even thinking of climbing out, why worry about a few bars at the side?

My boy was in a cot bed until just over 4 and he was comfortable (I didn't even think of it at the time (worrying he was too old) - now 17 and I can't find a bed long enough (he's 6ft 1)!

[Pickle]

Thank you all for your suggestions and experiences. The last couple of nights he's only woken a couple of times to use the toilet, so not quite so bad - we're struggling with it a bit as right from when he was small he's been an excellent sleeper, so to suddenly be up in the night when he's nearly 3 is difficult.

I think I will keep him in the cot for a bit longer, I've been reassurred by others who have done the same. We're planning an extended trip to see my parents in NZ early next year so maybe that could be used as the time to move him into a bed - that way I can leave the "back to bed" dramas to the doting grandparents ;-)

[Mellors]

I think I'd try to get him into a bed before you go over there - I would worry that the combo of jetlag, new room and a bed rather than cot would just be a nightmare. If he's already used to a bed then at least thats one less thing to worry about?

[prdarling]

My first son went into a bed 6 weeks after turning two. He continued to have a lunchtime nap in there for another 8 months. If you decide to move him into a bed I would advise a baby gate across his bedroom door - this will solve the sleepwalking issue, plus it becomes a big playpen for when you are trying to get something done and it makes life so easy when you have a toddler and a baby. Second son is now 2 yrs 2 months but a different kettle of fish. Not to be trusted! Tried him in a bed but he just kept getting out and getting in with his brother (they share a room). Will try again in the new year but no real rush