post baby bodies?

[Belle]

I know everyone says about "9 months on, 9 months off" re getting back in shape after having a baby but i'm at 8 months and feel like I'm just not going to quite get there. Anyone else in the same boat?! Not terrible or anything, just really hate having a baby tummy. On bad days I actually worry people might think I'm 4 months pregnant. I wasn't able to breastfeed so blame that for not having sucked my tummy in quicker, plus if I'm honest it wasn't exactly washboard to begin with...what do others think about this? Do you find you don't care so much now that you have a baby etc or does it bother you?

[curlykaren]

I've found the less I bf the less I eat and therefore the less I weigh, I actually got into a pair of my pre-baby jeans yesterday, I mean they didn't look nice or anything but I got into them none-the-less!!

I am quite bothered about it and having that outdoor gym in the park glowering at me everyday as I walk past is not helping my self-loathing. Anyway, winter soon...who will know I'm fat under all those layers?:))

[tiddles]

I'd give it a year to be honest. I was helped by breastfeeding but I do think you need to not be too hard on yourself. Also I am sorry but most women I know who have children never get back that washboard tummy (not that I ever had one!) I was so wrapped up in my baby I wasn't that bothered, but after about a year I began to exercise and it really made a difference. Don;t go mad - babies are hard work and I really don;t like the media 'yummy mummy' stuff that we seem to be bombarded with now. Get the perfect lipstick and hide under your winter woolies as curlykaren suggests!

[The Nappy Lady]

I'm with tiddles - give it a year (or more). I felt 'stuck' then suddenly over the last couple of months people keep telling me how much weight I've lost, which is a great feeling, though I think it is more about fat re-distribution if I'm honest! Baby is 10 days off turning 1, so I do think it takes that long. But also I'm still breast feeding, so my eating is still not quite under control (glances guiltily at the cake crumbs on empty plate next to me).....

First time around I found everything went almost back to normal eventually (and did get a personal trainer for a while when DD1 was about 2 which really sorted me out, until I got preggers again! It has certainly taken longer this time...since baby number 2 I have realised that my days of hipster jeans with short T-shirts really are long gone (must go through those bags of clothes lurking in the attic). I think only the very, very lucky or the very, very rich and famous - thanks to surgery - manage to end up without a 'muffin top'/baby belly in the end (not to mention the saggy boobs), I am consoled by the fact that nearly every Mum I know is in the same boat, and hey, they are the 'scars' of motherhood, we should wear them with pride!

I say focus on the bits of yourself that you do like, write them down if you have to on post it notes and stick 'em around the mirror and go with the flow.

Molly

x

[candj]

Agree with all the ladies above, and don't be hard on yourself.

First time around, it was about 9 months on and 9 months off (with the help of breast feeding and also doing Liz's powerpramming class in the park), second time around it came off much faster, why? Because I already had a toddler running around that I had to look after along with a newborn. Just wait until your baby is on the move and you'll find yourself more active whether you want to be or not!

I just dug out a pair of leather jeans from waaaay before any children were around and they fit perfectly, then when I jumped up in celebration, the button and zip both burst open with such a bang! Ho hum.

[millie42]

Everyone always says when you are pregnant - don't worry it will all fall off when you have it and start running around after them. I think this very rarely happens and this is made doubly worse when we see all the celebs skinny minnies again after a matter of weeks.

I believe if you stayed naturally thin and lsot weight easily before you will after the baby and if (like me!) It was always a hard slog it will be hard again.

After having DS1 I was still a good two stone more than I should be but thankfully never added any more to that with DS2 and now that DS1 is a year have finally managed to shift it all

I am so not a gym fan so did it through the diet and gentle exercise route. With kids we have little time for ourselves and so it does take time. Also I am still a different shape than before even being back to pre-preg weight - hips and back wider!

Stick with it. It will all come off eventually.

[sillywoman]

The Nappy Lady Wrote:

-

>

> I say focus on the bits of yourself that you do

> like, write them down if you have to on post it

> notes and stick 'em around the mirror and go with

> the flow.

>

Hmmm, what if the only bits you like are your fingers?

[Pickle]

I worked in the weight loss industry before getting pregnant with #1 so was super conscious about my weight once I'd had the baby. I managed to lose the weight first time round in about 6 months, and my body went almost back to how it was - I did it using a combination of going to Weight Watchers and gentle exercise out and about with the pram.

Having enjoyed feeling normal again for all of 3 months I got pregnant again! Second time round I put more weight on in pregnancy (felt rubbish, toddler to deal with, chocolate became my best friend) however managed to lose it quite quickly after my daughter was born - was back to my "goal" weight when she was 4 months old. Once again I went to WW, did a bit of gentle exercise and some powerpramming.

HOWEVER... while I weigh the same as I did pre-pregnancy, my body is far from being the same. I have a "mummy tummy" that just won't budge, and on a bad day I also feel like I look pregnant. Not helped by the fact that my belly button popped out when pregnant with #2 and has never gone in again (think I need to ask Santa for some plastic surgery to fix it, it freaks me out!). I know that if I did some serious exercise I could probably improve things, but with 2 children under 3 who are at home with me full time it seems impossible. My boobs, while never rivalling Jordan, have shrivelled up to nothing thanks to 2.5 years of almost constant breastfeeding.

Kids eh?!

[Smiler]

Oooh, full sympathy ladies, I am at 18 months and still over a stone up on my pre-baby weight with a dreadful baby belly. I don't mind the weight as much as the belly! I breast-fed and with dieting as well did actually lose almost all the weight by 9 months (though I felt like crap), but that was just before Christmas and then everything just went wrong! Have had occasional bursts of exercise, but not managed to sustain it.

My weight has always yo-yo'd and was never going to be one of those people for whom "it just drops off" due to my bad eating habits! A (skinny, new mum) "friend" who have known for years, seeing me feeding my daughter (and eating her leftovers) commented "no wonder she's slim and you're not"! Bit hurtful, but probably true. Oh dear.

Am trying not to worry too much about it though, there is already enough to beat yourself up about when a mum. Was heavier than this when was a boozy student in my 20s and it didn't matter. Packed away the too-small clothes so that the stuff in the wardrobe actually fits and looks OK.

Don't worry ladies.....!

Sillywoman, fingers = painted nails, nice rings, stylish gloves etc. etc.! Accessories in general are great (big bag hides big belly!)

[Belle]

Yes, think it's really the change in shape rather than weight gain that bothers me - and too true Molly about the muffin-top: whole swathes of pre-baby clothes are now no-go areas. I've discovered some good disguises for the tummy but think my bad days are when my clever clothes are in the wash! I was lucky in that a lot of it did come off quickly but then I kind of stalled. I even wondered if I've got t hat thing where the tummy muscles don't knit back together but think it's more I've got a combination of love of tunnocks tea cakes and unwillingness to do sit ups.

Smiler - am never a fan of 'friends' being that direct, just unnecessary isn't it? I too finish all my little one's food so am sure that's not helping but I wouldn't want anyone to point it out!

[fmay]

Haven't read whole thread, sure someone must have pointed this out...but wouldn't you agree the little ones are soooo worth any bodily changes, bits of extra 'podge'?? Anyway, don't forget that we're always much more conscious and critical of our bodies than anyone else. I expect nobody actually notices the little changes or fat we obsess about. It's all we see when we look in a mirror but other won't notice unless you point it out.....so don't, just glam up your hair, nails, wear nice clothes etc (when you get chance!) and feel proud at what an amazing thing your body has done for you and your family. :))

[snowboarder]

Ugh - I am under no illusions - I look terrible!! And breastfeeding is rubbish - just makes you really hungry and I have boobs like MELONS which doesn't help overall huge-ness. Baby lets me pram-bust once a week but that's about all the exercise I can manage, husband leaves early and back late (and goes to the GYM at lunchtime - huh!) so not much time. Not good! It's kind of ok when you have the pram as you can hide - but the other day I actually crossed the road to avoid seeing someone I hadn't seen in ages as I was embarrassed about how I looked! It's not just the body..it's the clothes, the sick on shoulder etc..

Maybe the only solution is to get pregnant again and avoid the issue (!!JOKE)

[fmay]

...By way, have mentioned on another post about DVDs I've found usefull. 10 minute solution- Workout DVDs on Amazon, all different types of exercise/dance/boxing etc (something for everyone) that you can do in 10minute bursts. It's more realistic finding the odd 10mins in your day when busy with babies than having enough time to go to a full class or a gym. Post baby I can recommed the 'Blast off Belly Fat' dvd...ha ha!

[madmum]

im with you ALLLLLLLL!!!im at the nine months stage and my gut is shocking its flapping about everywhere...and last week i got asked twice TWICE if i was expecting again...arggggghhhhhh i replied no im just fat..bloody hell!!! i have no time or energy for exercise i keep putting DVD on then go blast come dine with me is on!!! my DH comes in from work goes for a run, football football oh and weekend football, where oh where will i get the time to get myself looking svelt and toned again(please note i was never ever any of the aformentioned things but does one good to have goals) so for now i will try to lay of the biccys and learn to love the rice cake else one will just have to learn to love the gut....

well ladies i wish you and babies well and may we all be slim for xmas(when we shall all put it back on and be back here moaning)

yours in big pants

madmumxxx

[alib]

Six weeks after the birth of my firstborn it was Xmas and I believe in Santa again because he brought me Spanx pants. Apparently Mel B did 200 sit ups a day to get back into shape. Ha ha ha ha ha ha...

p.s. 41 weeks pregnant (again) as I type this and eating Quality Street like there's no tomorrow.

[Smiler]

Hurrah alib! Enjoy the chocs.

fmay - yes, of course the little ones are fab and is worth it etc. etc., goes without saying, but am just too shallow and vain to think like that most of the time!

Madmum - feel your pain re being asked if are pregnant, same thing has happened to me, is awful. It is also apparently possible to have cellulite on your tummy, as have found out - argh!

Also agree with those who talk about the naughty men taking time to go to the gym when we have no time. But maybe it is up to us to demand some time, with the men looking after the little ones! Mine (svelte, muscular etc. due to all the exercise) moans about putting on the odd pound on holiday or missing out on his runs - grr grr grr! Have not said anything to him as figure perhaps if he's obsessing about his own bod he won't notice the state mine is in!

[crystal7]

I'm with you all too! Feel a bit cheated about the whole breastfeeding-weight loss thing, it just makes me eat more and at nearly 8 months I'm about 10lbs more than I'd like to be! (Feel a bit shallow even saying this).

I think it's a life style thing too, much more time spent at home and in cafes. I do Power Pramming once a week, need to get motivated to do some running with the pram on my own...

As others have said it's not the weight that bothers me it's the muffin top and wobbly thighs! Urgh!

Oh well off to console myself with some cake...

And yes it does seem unfair that OH can go to he qym in his lunch hour!

[sanity girl]

I hate to say this, but I actually put on weight when I stopped breastfeeding. I weigh more now (daughter 2 and a half) than I did 2 weeks after giving birth!! Having said that, I did loose all my pregnancy weight within 2 weeks of giving birth, which was a bit freakish. Sometimes I look down at my stomach flab and think I should really do something about it, but I can't get myself into too much of a tizz about it - my daughter is the gorgeous one now, and life with 2 year old and working full time is just too busy already. Besides - with regular evenings out now out of the question, yummy cakes are my only remaining vice!

[Smiler]

Oh, am so envious of the whole concept of "the lunch hour". Those were the days!

Is also a sad day when cake is considered a vice!

[laurac]

Like Sanity Girl my pregnancy weight went quickly and after 8/9 months of excessive breastfeeding I weighed less than I had in years. Ironically I was so shattered there was no enjoyment in it at all! My daughter is now two and a half and in the last year I have strangely acquired the body of someone who has just given birth - my tummy is now distinctly crepey looking and my muffin top is out of control! Like others are saying it's definitely the change in shape which has been worse than any weight gain because am not sure weigh more than before it's just more badly distributed. But it's definitely not something I would obsess about as much as before I had my daughter and one of the last things I feel like doing when I have some free time is exercise although sure this is just the sign of a very bad attitude!

[helena handbasket]

Thank goodness I'm not the only one with incredibly strange post baby body issues. I have often wondered why my pre-baby pot belly has somehow reversed itself to a muffin top? Doesn't that break some law of physics? And the redistribution of weight has had me baffled..... why do I weigh what I used to but I now look and feel a good stone or two on the squishy side? I always had a bit of a belly and frustrating inner thighs, but I NEVER had hip/butt/backfat (yes I said it, backfat grrr) issues. Now it's just layered on everywhere. And don't even get me started on my neck waddle thingy.

Has anyone discovered magical clothes that hide the "spare tire"? I no longer know how to dress myself, so end up doing the baggy top thing which is so undignified. The boobs are a bit monstrous now too so baggy clothes just make me look like a blob. Sigh.

Oddly, my legs seem thinner than ever.

[The Nappy Lady]

Helena Handbasket - I'm envious of thin legs!!

The nicest thing about this thread is to know we are all feeling the same way. My friend had her babies in her early 20's (so they are now 16 and 14) and when she came on holiday with me this year people thought she was our Au Pair...seriously, she is just one of those naturally slim women, and also I must admit she does watch what she eats.

But you know, I'm happier than I've ever been (mostly, apart from the odd stressful Mummy moment), and I reckon really my days of crop tops should probably be over anyway at 40. I will make up for it by being a 'wild' granny one day I hope!

What's a bit of flab between friends.

Dressing wise, I think it does vary, but generally speaking, tops which gather at the sides and drape over the tummy seem to be good (ala Trinny and Susannah), and smock top / short dresses over jeans maybe? Think if you've got boobs you're supposed to wear tops that have a V or U neck rather than a high neck as well..... I try not to wear really baggy stuff as I think it makes me feel and look worse, better to try to accentuate any vaguely good curves I have, but hide the flabby tummy. I mostly seem to end up in jeans, a t-shirt and a cardi these days though, not much time to think or care about it ahead of the school run.

Worst fashion mistake this week? Getting caught out by the hot afternoon and having to take my jumper off to reveal a strappy t-shirt with a breast feeding bra sticking out of it in all directions underneath. But hey, I was only at Leapers so who cares?

I think actually being pregnant is the best bit as you get to stick your tummy out with pride, and at least it is firm then!

Molly

[sb]

.

[fmay]

....If only we could all afford the wraps/treatments/cosmetic surgery that celeb mums resort to!!! I agree, isn't is one of the best bits about pregnancy NOT having to think about your tum sticking out or bloating after a big meal etc. Looking forward to being pregnant again and letting it stick out proudly:))

[lorraineliyanage]

I don't mind the baby belly - my fault really as I'm too lazy to do sit ups. However, I do lament the loss of my once-perky breasts that never needed a bra. My daughter just feeds from one boob, so one is the same as before I was pregnant, and the other is like jelly, it just flops under my armpit. Oh well!!