Concerned toddlor is autistic..

[blacklashez]

Hello, I'm a mother of a two year old ( just turned two) and was concerned only about his speech and communication. He would be able to say a few words here and there like bye and momma and just kind of point or signal to what he wants. Anyway so I took him to the HV and I suggest she detected something and took me to the Speech therapist who then after watching my son play a bit said she thinks he needs to be seen by a paediatrician as there might be do

Etching more ( hinting at autism). I of course was devastated as my son didn't show many signs of obvious autism. I worked in a nursery before with autistic children and he didn't show any of those traits. Anyway do he's been referred to. But I'm just confused.. He plays with me and my husband and even a close cousin of mine. He loves peek a boo, reading books. When he wants help with something he picks up the thing , brings it to us and says " uh uh uh". The lady said she noticed he doesn't make as much eye contact as he should. I see what she's saying however he makes eye contact many times through out the day with all of us, ecsp if we are doing something he likes. He reads our face expressions , he knows when we are happy with him or upset.he gives us kisses and hugs. He understands a few basics like " hold my hand" " give me a kiss " " turn the light in ". When we call his name, many times he looks at us and sometimes he doesn't. I noticed when he's tired he doesn't look as much . Also I think they saw he was fixated on just playing and not looking around. When he plays he is concentrating on the toy but occasionally looks at us too but I guess I would say not as much as he should. I'm just so confused. Worried. Upset. I'm not sure what to think? Any mom going through the same thing or have been through it? I would really really appreciate any sdvice! Oh and he dies one repetitive thing which I find to be an autistic trait is he likes spinning things. Like spinning clothes, and wheels if the car and watching the washing machine run..

[klove]

Morning, I am by no means an expert but didn't want to read and run. My son also had speech and language issues but by almost three years old he is absolutely fine and now won't stop talking! Two years old is quite early to diagnose speech problems. He was also really into moving things with his wheel barrow, which sounds a bit like your son's liking for spinning things. This again, is really common (look up toddler schemas - all about learning through play) and can be a healthy way of working out how the world operates.

Definitely go to any referrals as it's always best to make sure, but your son sounds like he might be a little shy around strangers and gets really into things. No bad thing! Can really empathise with you though, I was also worried at two years old but by almost three now, these worries were definitely unfounded.

[EDmummy]

I've been through the same, not with suspected autism but suspected ADHD. I completely understand how you are feeling. The way I approached it was to be very open with the specialist staff and clinicians, not defensive but also questioning. A diagnosis is not a sentence, it can be a very positive thing and it can help you, family and school understand your child as an individual. It was eventually decided my son didn't have ADHD but after some occupational therapy, was diagnosed with a sensory processing problem and a little later dyslexia. All the very best.

[blacklashez]

I understand what your saying. I'm definetky going to try and help him as much as I can. I guess it's the waiting time which is killing me. I'm just anxious to know if he is and to help him asap. I'm just s bit confused and being anxious won't help my son. Thank you for the advise

[Pugwash]

Our eldest grandson was thought to show Autistic traits when he was 3 mainly around speech and understanding instructions. He was diagnosed with language delay and went to a nursery several times a week where they concentrated on developing his language skills.

[EDmummy]

Your reaction is absolutely natural, I remember feeling exactly the same. Has his hearing been checked? A friend who's son had similar behaviour to what you describe found he had glue ear.

blacklashez Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I understand what your saying. I'm definetky going

> to try and help him as much as I can. I guess it's

> the waiting time which is killing me. I'm just

> anxious to know if he is and to help him asap. I'm

> just s bit confused and being anxious won't help

> my son. Thank you for the advise

[kristyl]

I completely understand your apprehension. My son was diagnosed with autism at 2 years 4 months. It is very early and again he only had a couple of autistic traits. He did have a speech regression though, which was the key thing. However, I understand the waiting is tortuous, but just try and enjoy your son in the meantime. I found I analysed my sons every move, which isn't fun. If your son does get a diagnosis at least you can get the help needed. My son has improved greatly in a very short space of Time due to therapies. Plus Southwark has a great support system. Good luck.

[blacklashez]

Yes I am planning to get it checked out. I have been going crazy analysing his every move. I feel like I'm going crazy! Also reading up on the Internet and watching videos is making me more anxious. I was wondering , what kind of therapy do they do to help children with autism? How does the child improve

[kristyl]

My son has speech therapy and he also has ABA. We pay for ABA with child autism UK. My son has a program tailored to him and his needs. He has a tutor and is learning through play and also working on compliancy. He now has great eye contact, responds to his name and has started babbling a lot more. He seems to have gone to the next phase of communication. We also found out through ABA that he can recognise the alphabet, count to 10 and other things we had no idea about due to his lack of speech.

[astrid83]

Hi, I know this is and old thread but my son was diagnosed with autism last week "or fits the criteria". Husband and I are in shock as we generally thought he wasn't going to get the diagnosis. He is 2.5, non verbal but has just started to do pretend play and his eye contact has improved hugely just in the last month.

I find the whole thing so difficult to accept and deal with - wouldn't mind speaking to other locals who have been through the same thing.

[blacklashez]

It is really hard! My son has a paediatric appointment in 3 weeks time and im prepared for whatever they tell me. My son is quite vocal now and started speaking two word sentences and even a few three worded ones but his imaginary play has just started and his eye contact is great when he wants it to be . He knows all his shapes and colours and asks for everything and understands so simple instructions however the speech therapist is still implying it's autism. It's so hard . I think sometimes becaus we are with them we don't see it like how an outsider might. Feel free to private msg me and talk. I'm more then happy to talk about it . It can feel quite lonely!

[kristyl]

My husband and I have been through this too. My son is now 3, still non verbal but such improvements in other areas. If you do want to talk, feel free to PM me.

[astrid83]

Blacklashez - it's so so hard. I was absolutely sure we would have the assessment and they would send us home without a diagnosis. I've heard of parents who are desperate for a diagnosis as they have known for a long time that their child is autistic - but for us it wasn't like that at all. We just thought he was speech delayed and a bit behind. So when they said he fits in to the criteria it was a massive shock. But that's great that your son is communicating. Being able to ask for things must be awesome!

[reren]

I have a very close friend whose child was diagnosed a number of years ago with autism. She is a lovely kid and thriving in a normal school environment - in fact she is top of her class. I think I'm right in saying that children like her used to be diagnosed aspergers but now the diagnosis is 'on the autism spectrum'. It always strikes me when I'm with her how much she is like so many adults I know (my dad for example!) and how those people never had the benefit of diagnosis. They just struggled with feeling / being a bit different. I don't mean to diminish the pain of finding something like this out - just trying to say that it is perhaps so much more common than was ever realised previously. I can't presume to know how it feels as a parent and of course there is such a range in terms of autism - but it does seem to me that diagnosis can be such a positive thing in helping you access the right tools and support for your child. And there is such a growing body of knowledge about the brain and things that can help people with autism - there's a lot to be hopeful about.

[woodvale.res]

I think it is called ASD these days. Autistic Spectrum Disorder. My son is 16 next week and has aspergers. He has just sat his mock GCSEs and has 7 c grades or above

[woodvale.res]

He got an early diagnoses while at pre school which meant he had a stratergy in place before he started school

[Medusa]

ASD isn't always picked up on early. What used to be called Asperger's Syndrome (now included in the general term 'ASD')can be quite subtle, esp in younger, bright children. All of my children have ASD to varying degrees, but even the most impaired of them went through six years of nursery & then primary school without a single teacher raising any concerns.

It can feel crushing to get a diagnosis. Sometimes it feel as though you go through a process of grieving for the child you thought you would have and then coming to terms with the child you *do* have. It's nothing to do with love, in my experience, but about readjusting your expectations.

I think diagnosis can be helpful in opening doors to greater levels of understanding and support, particularly when your child has probably got years of schooling ahead of them. My most autistic child (now 15) gets a high level of support at school, not so much academically because he is very able, but in dealing with the anxiety that goes hand in hand with autism. This is invaluable.

Feel free to message me if you want to talk more. I'm always happy to chat/meet up with other parents of ASD children.

[blacklashez]

I think it would be great for moms who are going through this or have gone through this experience to stay in touch. Like a support group. When I was first told that my son might be autistic I felt so lonely and I didn't know who to talk to ( hence why I started this thread). It's so scary but talking to mothers / parents who are going through or have gone through it does make it easier.

[Medusa]

Or maybe even a proper meet-up once every month or every other month? I have quite a lot of resources I am happy to lend out: lots of books, some social communication cards, a DVD.

[Otta]

The first thing to remember is that the autistic spectrum is huge and one person with ASD can present completely differently to another.

My daughter (coming up to 7) was diagnosed aged 4. Probably would have been earlier but she was basically failed by her (now closed by ofsted but not for this reason) preschool. She is high functioning and is more or less keeping up at school, it's more the social stuff she struggles with (much happier talking with adults, and tends to play with boys because they're less complicated). Sensory stuff is big for her, particularly noise. She loved going to Dulwich Hamlet with me a couple of times, but soon became distressed at the noise levels and now doesn't want to go.

I work in SEN and am often in schools working with kids at the severe end of the spectrum. I guess this helps me have some perspective on how much worse things could be, but that is not to say life is without its challenges. And there is also her little sister to think of, who maybe misses out on some attention at times, and we feel guilty for that.

No one wants a diagnosis of ASD for their child, but try to remain positive, my daughter cracks me up with the way she looks at the world sometimes :-)

[Nik]

The Southwark branch of the National Autistic Society has two support groups that meet monthly.

The next meeting is on Monday 8th February 7.30pm at the Crooked Well Pub in Camberwell (see details below).

The support groups are run by parents of children with autism and you will find they are very welcoming and full of support and advice.

Please come along!

MONTHLY PARENT/CARER SUPPORT GROUPS

(STRICTLY PARENTS/CARERS ONLY ? NO CRECHE FACILITY)

Please do come along and meet other parents/carers for a friendly, relaxed chat with a cup of tea and a biscuit. You will be very warmly welcomed. All of the NAS Southwark Branch volunteer committee have family members who are on the autism spectrum.

Friday Mornings (LAST FRIDAY OF MONTH) 10am ? 12pm

ALFRED SALTER PRIMARY SCHOOL ROTHERHITHE SE16

Quebec Way, 5 mins walk Canada Water bus and tube

27/11, 18/12(tbc), 29/1, 26/2, 18/3, 29/4

Monday Evenings (SECOND MONDAY OF MONTH) 7.30 ? 9.30 pm

UPSTAIRS ROOM ?CROOKED WELL?,

Grove Lane, (nr Leisure Centre) CAMBERWELL SE5 8SY

14/12, 11/1, 8/2, 14/3, 11/4

[KalamityKel]

Otta Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> The first thing to remember is that the autistic

> spectrum is huge and one person with ASD can

> present completely differently to another.

>

> My daughter (coming up to 7) was diagnosed aged 4.

> Probably would have been earlier but she was

> basically failed by her (now closed by ofsted but

> not for this reason) preschool. She is high

> functioning and is more or less keeping up at

> school, it's more the social stuff she struggles

> with (much happier talking with adults, and tends

> to play with boys because they're less

> complicated). Sensory stuff is big for her,

> particularly noise. She loved going to Dulwich

> Hamlet with me a couple of times, but soon became

> distressed at the noise levels and now doesn't

> want to go.

>

> I work in SEN and am often in schools working with

> kids at the severe end of the spectrum. I guess

> this helps me have some perspective on how much

> worse things could be, but that is not to say life

> is without its challenges. And there is also her

> little sister to think of, who maybe misses out on

> some attention at times, and we feel guilty for

> that.

>

> No one wants a diagnosis of ASD for their child,

> but try to remain positive, my daughter cracks me

> up with the way she looks at the world sometimes

> :-)

This is so true and incredibly important to remember. The spectrum is HUGE. Health officials are so keen to pop everyone in to a category that doesn't always make sense - they see things you might not think important. Whether it's right or wrong at such a young age I wouldn't worry about it too much but accept any additional help that might be given.

Three of my brothers' children have been diagnosed with totally different levels of Autism.

One is in his own little world most of the time, incredibly emotionally sensitive and sees things in a different yet very logical way to what is considered the "norm". He is at secondary school now, uses a laptop and recording devices allowing him to keep up with the class but has to be excused early at the end of the day to be escorted home. He was diagnosed fairly early, gets some support although perhaps not enough and certainly not much understanding from his secondary school but is doing well.

Another is very sensitive to sound and can be a little OTT when she can't cope with large groups and is also quite a handful at times. Again, diagnosed early and receives different support to her brother.

The other, almost 16, except for being a "typical" teenager with a few issues with anger management, you would never think there was anything wrong.

My brother also has 3 other children (of varying ages) that are considered "normal". With the support the family receives for those on the spectrum, various techniques and lessons are also of a benefit to the others.

I remember as a child myself when my brother was having speech therapy, although obviously the sessions catered for him I also benefited too.

My main point is that although you are rightfully feeling shocked, out of your depth etc. it is not the end of the world. Take as much support that is offered. I'm a firm believer that children should be given as many opportunities given to help improve and progress as possible. Certainly don't feel like you have failed your child in any way.

[blacklashez]

So true! I think the reason why im out of my "panic mode" is because I see that every ASd child is different and the earlier the diagnosis the better. They say Earky intervention makes a different. My son hasn't been diagnosed yet ( but I know he will be ). I've already started looking up things I can do with him at home and activities that can help him like people games and turn taking games. It really does help. I guess I just had to change my frame of mind and think "!i need to help my child " instead of " does he have autism or not". The therapist said to me " right now, don't worry about your son being autistic just concentrate on the help he needs".

[KalamityKel]

I wouldn't focus so much on what might or might not be - just continue with your child's development as you would have normally.

2yrs is too young, in my mind, to identify any traits that are not screamingly obvious. Enjoy the time you have with little one :)