Christening advice please

[sb]

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[lorraineliyanage]

I would go to the church in person and speak to the priest after the service. At St Thomas More on Lordship Lane, the priests all stay around after the service chatting to the congregation.

[fmay]

I spoke to the priest at St Thomas More and he said he would christen my son but I had to attend church weekly for at least 6 months or so before he could discuss christening arrangements. My son is already 6 months now (and i've since attended for a couple of months) so this means that he will be christened a lot older than I would have liked (babies in my family have traditionally been christened by about 2-3 months old).....so I expect that he would say the same to you! Hope this helps...

[candj]

I find it amazing that it's such a difficult thing to do here in the UK especially when the Catholic church numbers are dwindling. I've had both mine christened in Ireland (husband's Irish) and it was the easiest, no hassle thing to do. The priest just met with us the morning of and had us fill out some paperwork and it was done after the morning mass. We never met the priest before, but it was done at the 'family' church he was really relaxed about it.

Sorry this doesn't help you, but I've known a few people to go to Ireland to christen their children.

[Ann]

Definitely start going to church as regularly as you can. Once the priest sees a degree of commitment to the church you will be made much more welcome although I rather suspect you don't feel like going just now!

I suspect there has been an upturn in requests for Christenings in recent years with the increased birth rate locally. They just want to know you're genuine. Good luck.

[sb]

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[????]

Maybe this thread is not the place but I think that given that a christening is meant to be a solemn commitment to bring your children up with god in their lives, then having actually gone to church other than a few weddings and maybe at christmas is a fair enough committment, rather than some kind of tick box of middle class convention? Does make me laugh posters moaning about having to actually go to church!!

Personally, I think it's hogwash and my kids won't go anywhere nera afont unless they decide themselves, but have no problem with ACTIVE practising christians doing this..the rest of you?? don't get it at all. You need to conform that much?

[Belle]

I think you can agree with the meaning of a christening and want it for your child without necessarily being a regular church attender - that's certainly how I feel. In my mind it's about a public ceremony to appoint godparents and welcome the child to the world, and if it's in church then that's in a spiritual setting you're comfortable with. Of course would totally respect a priest saying he'd rather we were regular attenders, and I wouldn't attend just for the sake of the christening. What we've done is found a priest and church who are willing to christen our child regardless of the fact we're not regular attenders. if that makes sense (just back from a rare night out).

[candj]

I agree 100% with what Belle said. I'm not Catholic but my husband is and we decided to have our children christened back in Ireland at his family's church. We don't attend church here in the UK (we do when in Ireland), but it was something we wanted to do for our children and the christening itself got huge amounts of family together to celebrate a new baby in the family.

Edited to add that I think it's more about a spiritual commitment to the child if anything. I do agree in theory with what ????s is saying about church attendance and naturally the priest would want to see the parent's commitment to the church, the catholic faith and so on and so forth, but saying it's some kind of middle class conformity ... come on now!

???? - don't make any sudden movements, open the door slowly and go back to the lounge. ;-)

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

'S'alright Quids, I've got your back!

I'm with him on this. Parents and Godparents make a huge, solemn vow to reject the Devil and turn to Christ. No priest wants you to perjure yourself in church in front of witnesses, so it's incumbent on him to make sure you understand what you are promising and with the help of Godparents, friends and family, agree to bring up the child in the Christian faith.

That's not implying perfection - none of us can achieve that - but you are agreeing to make a stab at it.

There is also the cynical side to all this: some parents want to get their children into faith schools and will cavalierly have their children baptised to achieve this. By asking for a six month regular commitment, it does weed out all but the hardy!

[Belle]

I think it's the same debate as the one over people who choose to get married in church. Ultimately it's personal choice, everyone has their reasons.

[????]

No...the words of a christian wedding are vows to each other infront of friends and god...,,maybe - it is also a legal ceremony. I bave no problems with people from a christian tradition doing this in church however 'lite' their faith. A christening is a solely religous ceremony with vows to god to renounce the devil and swearing to raise your kids or godchildren as christians. Very different.

[Belle]

I don't know - I think if the participants and the priest are content with their decision, it's not really for anyone else to have a problem with it. Everyone has very personal reasons - which will vary widely.

[Belle]

ps sorry SB realise you didn't ask for a debate about the ethics of christening your child! If it helps,t he church we're going to is St Bride's up in Fleet Street.

[????]

yup. Apologies for hijack op

[Moos]

I appreciate that it was a light-hearted comment, but telling someone that they're not welcome in the family room and that they should go back to the lounge seems quite rude to me.

This is a discussion forum, and I don't think ???? should be made to apologise for providing his view.

[nicolemodesti]

sb - We had a similar problem when trying to organise the christening of our son. I approached my local Catholic church and was told I was not part of the faith community so would have to attend regularly and then the priest started talking about people only wanting to have their children christened to gain entry into a Catholic school. He also asked of my marital status and then proceeded to go completely off the topic of christening. In the end we organised a CofE christening, as my partner is CofE, and I teach at a CofE school. We had a lovely baptism which was very liberal, mainly due to the priest who conducted the ceremony. Another reason we went with her and CofE. A christening is a very personal decision and I wish you all the luck in your choice.

[candj]

Moos, sorry I should have made my winky smiley face bigger. Sense of humour please! I didn't ask anyone to apologise.

[suniil]

Fr.Tom in St. James the great (peckham) is a very nice person, he may able to do it without a long wait.

[Mellors]

CoE are much more liberal in my experience - ring them up, they pop round and see you and tell you what happens and you put a date in the diary (no compulsory attendence required).

[sb]

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[vinceayre]

I had exactly the same experience with my two children when we were looking to get them christened. I was at a catholic school as a child and an alter boy at the church at which my wife and were married but when i asked about my children they were not interested as i wasn't a regular parishioner.

My mother who is an ardent catholic was furious when i told her what had happened and as god didn't want my kids i said i couldn't be ar*ed to get them christened ( this had been an ongoing batle since i was about 10 with Mum). She then arranged for them to be christened at Westminster Cathedral which i thought was quite a sly move on her part as it would have seemed churlish for me to refuse.

I have never attended church willingly and dont realy believe in god but am more than happy for my kids to, as it does give them a good moral compass on which to live thier lives and it seems to make a lot of people very happy. Im not sure if they believe in god but my daughter now goes to a Methodist school where they have thier own chaplin and chapple in the grounds so she goes to mass about three times a week and seems to be quite content with it.

I had them christened simply because my mother arranged it as i feel religeon per se is becomeing less and less part of our lives as a society, if i was back in that situation again now i dont think i would bother.

[trinity]

sb Wrote:

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> Is CoE the same? In terms of needing to prove

> 6months church attendance? One of us is Catholic

> (Irish) and one is CoE and neither of us cares

> much which church gives its blessing, though it

> would be nice to be made feel welcome.

You are entitled to have your child christened in the C of E parish you live in regardless of attendance. If you wish to have them christened in a church outside of your parish you may be required to attend for a certain length of time.

In our case we were asked to attend St John's for 6 months which we were very happy to do. It is about introducing your child to a community which will make a commitment to your family and so they ask your family to make a commitment to the church.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Sorry but that's not quite accurate. In CofE you are legally entitled to be married in your parish church provided you meet the legal requirements, all other offices are at the vicar's discretion.

Don't forget that if you don't want to make those vows, you can have a blessing or thanksgiving service instead to introduce the baby.

[trinity]

Oh dear - that's what the vicar told us. I hope he knows what he's talking about :))