Baby feeding advice please...

[snowboarder]

For the last couple of months baby snowboarder has got worse and worse at (breast)feeding during the day - it has now reached the point where he won't feed at all if we're out. Or if anyone talks. Or if the cat walks by. I'm pretty sure this is related to the 3 or so wakes during the night when he screams until I feed him.

SO I'm thinking I need to get him on the bottle. Apart from the actual logistics of this, does anyone know whether this might help the distraction problems? It's getting to the stage where we can't even go out for the day. I don't mind carrying on b/feedng at bedtime/night/early morning.

thanks...

[trinity]

Hi

What age is baby snowboarder?

What does he do - is he just more interested in whats going on around? Is he distressed at being hungry and unable to feed or just not interested?

Sorry for all questions!

[Moos]

I was going ask the same question. Moosling at around 4-5 months was continually pulling away to look around and had to be persuaded to feed. I'm sure someone will be along soon with better advice than I'm able to give - just wanted to say good luck!

[snowboarder]

Nearly 6 months. He SCREAMS. Cranes his head in the opposite direction. Sucks his thumb. Wriggles. We get 10 mins max feed at home - 1-2 mins if we;re lucky when out, but sometimes complete refusal. Maybe distracted and not comfortable but he MUST be hungry.

Bit stressful!

[trinity]

How does he tell you he is hungry? Does he show you these signs and then refuse to feed? Is he taking any solids during the day?

More and more questions but no answers yet!

[Moos]

Sounds it. They do love to challenge you just as you think you've got it* sussed.

*typed 'tit' there by mistake... Freudian slip!

[snowboarder]

I've always just fed him approx every 2-4 hrs - depending on when he seems grumpy/OR when convenient for the day ahead. Generally 5 feeds a day plus endless grazing at night. Even when I leave it 4 hrs when out he won't take anyhting. (limited success in mamas and papas feeding room/complete screaming fit in peckham rye park cafe!). No real solids as yet - we're thinking of trying baby led weaning - so he's had some bits of fruit etc to play with but no 'proper' meals.

ps - I'm not worried about his weight at all - he's fine - it's more the logistics of the day and an attempt to deal with nights.

[The Nappy Lady]

Is he showing interest in food - for instance trying to grab stuff off your plate etc?

What happens if you feed him in a dark room during the day with no distractions?

Does he 'ask' for breast regularly then play up or just generally not seem bothered (baby C comes up and grizzled and bangs her head against my chest for example!!).

Molly

[trinity]

It sounds like a combination of developing to a stage where he doesn't need to be fed so often and distraction by the much more interesting world around. I think he is telling you to leave him alone - he's got more interesting things to do!

If he is not distressed with hunger I would just leave him for longer between feeds. Obviously you would need to keep an eye on whether he is getting dehydrated and that he continues to gain weight but let him feed every 6 hours or just when he starts pawing at your chest!

[snowboarder]

But I need to do something about him feeding all night...I think he's making up for the daytime - well - you know - who would spend time feeding during the day when you know you can cosy up in the dark and sleep and eat all night?!?

[snowboarder]

The Nappy Lady Wrote:

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> Is he showing interest in food - for instance

> trying to grab stuff off your plate etc? - No - not really

>

> What happens if you feed him in a dark room during

> the day with no distractions? - much better

>

> Does he 'ask' for breast regularly then play up or

> just generally not seem bothered (baby C comes up

> and grizzled and bangs her head against my chest

> for example!!). - again - not really no....

OH BABIES!!

[trinity]

In that case more questions - how well does he sleep during the day?

You said he was waking up 3 times a night - is he feeding deeply and for a long time then?

[snowboarder]

Sleep = generally bad. Maybe 3 half hour naps in the day. Last night he woke 3 times and screamed for food - fed for nearly an hour each time (sleepy feeds - but when I take him off he protests).

Exhausting!

[trinity]

Hmm tricky one

My thoughts are that the waking at night is related to the poor sleeping during the day rather than feeding. The night feeding sounds like it could be comfort feeding.

The night waking is exhausting but not uncommon. 2 of mine would be waking that often at 5 months and the way that I coped was to feed them in my bed. Not for everyone I know but it helped me.

My suggestion would be to space out his meals during the day by feeding him when he is obviously hungry and try to get as much milk into him just before bedtime when you are at home in a quiet dark environment, throw in a dream feed just before you go to bed and see what happens.

Also maybe try to improve his daytime sleeping by working out where he sleeps best (cot, pram, car etc) and try to make sure he naps there. As he is reacting strongly to distractions perhaps napping in a quiet darkened room again. Very tricky I know when you are trying to live a normal life!

Sorry I am not more help but from what you have said I don't think a bottle is going to help except that it might enable someone to take over the night feeds.

[Moos]

My son definitely started to sleep better at night (went from waking multiple times to sleeping through to 6) once he got into sleeping regularly during the day. It was when he was about 7 months old.

Best of luck - it's so hard when you're completely wiped out and looking for a solution. Hopefully some of the good advice the ladies are giving you here will help.

[melbourne groover]

How about expressing and trying a bottle? My son weaned himself at between 6 and 7 months. Could not for love or money (or darkened rooms/ muzzling 3 yr old/ shutting cat out of room etc etc) get him to feed - worse he had teeth so would just bite me. However he would take a bottle. Just too nosy I think, not one to be knowingly left out....

He was eating 3 meals by then so not sure if that changes things. He has gone back to sleeping through the night also (mostly).

Good luck!

[Fuschia]

It's distraction... and the night feeding sounds quite normal and very logical solution from his point of view, get you when it's quie and dark (and prolactin levels are high) Mammals are dsigned to feed their young when quiet in the nest!

I agree with the advice about working really hard on the evening feed in a drak room, and offering a dream feed. Can you also take every chance you can to feed at home in a quiet place... maybe have a bit of a "babymoon" at home for a few days?

Lack of feeding/lack of naps is a bit of a downward spiral, eh?

I don't think a bottle will help you.... I'd keep on offering food to play with (BLW) and say to yourself "This too will pass!"

The time will come when you'll look back with nostalgia on those sleepy night feeds when you were the centre of his universe!

[Fuschia]

Good article: http://kellymom.com/babyconcerns/distractible-baby.html

[snowboarder]

Oh but the bottle was my solution to a normal life, where we can go out! I spend most of my day trying to get him to sleep and eat! We do come home for feeds now as it's useless to even try out. And last feed before bed is dark and snuggly. Last night he woke on his own for a 'dream feed' at 10.30, again at 1.30 for food, 2.30 for cuddles, 3am for a chat, and 5.30 for more food before getting up at 6.15! ARGH! I just thought he might be less distracted with a bottle - as you can feed and see what's going on. My friends who bottle feed DO NOT HAVE THIS!

[The Nappy Lady]

Agree with all that's been said. Can you break your day up to generally allow you to be home in dark room for feeds - say first thing, lunch time and early evening, which still allows you to go out for the morning and after lunch.

If he's not demanding feeds in the day spread them out so he is hopefully hungry and do where he feeds best whenever you can.

And start giving some cooked veggies etc to play with as F says....doesn't do much in terms of replacing milk til later but will start the process and he may take to it like a duck to water. Do you have a hugh chair he can sit up in?

M

xx

[Fuschia]

snowboarder Wrote:

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> Oh but the bottle was my solution to a normal

> life, where we can go out! I spend most of my day

> trying to get him to sleep and eat! We do come

> home for feeds now as it's useless to even try

> out. And last feed before bed is dark and

> snuggly. Last night he woke on his own for a

> 'dream feed' at 10.30, again at 1.30 for food,

> 2.30 for cuddles, 3am for a chat, and 5.30 for

> more food before getting up at 6.15! ARGH! I just

> thought he might be less distracted with a bottle

> - as you can feed and see what's going on. My

> friends who bottle feed DO NOT HAVE THIS!

I think you'll find it's his personality, he's probably more alert than your friends' babies... my DS1 was like that, and it still shows (he's very bright)

He's found the best balance for him.. nose at the world all day, mummy time and milk in the night..

maybe compromise by going out in the morning, but go home for lunch and a rest?

[trinity]

You have my sympathy Snowboarder - this is clearly stressing you, not surprisingly.

Some more suggestions from me

Try not to compare your baby and his habits to other babies. It can be really stressful to see other people and their lo 'getting it right'.

Am i right in thinking that the stress around going out in the day is around you trying to feed him and him making a fuss and refusing? If this is the case just go out but don't feed him. Don't worry about feeding him, don't think about feeding him and don't worry about other babies feeding habits. Let him 'tell' you when he is hungry. Maybe try it for a few days if this concerns you.

You could try letting him sip expressed milk from an open cup. That way you know he is getting some milk but he can still look around him.

From your description of last night's sleeping there were actually 3 feeds including a dream feed. I would say this is normal for your age of baby.

The extra waking for stimulation is I think due to poor sleeping during the day not hunger. I don't have much advice on that point as I just accepted it and waited til they grew out of it (which happened when they started to be more mobile and having 2/3 significant naps a day.)

It is a very tiring situation to be in - do you have any help so you can get a decent rest every so often?

[snowboarder]

Thanks for your replies ladies. I just feel like I have tried to keep calm and feed at home and work on day time sleeps over the last couple of months and it just continues to get worse. I can't keep going on the sleep I'm currently getting and I need to get back to some semblance of a normal life where I don't come home every 3 hrs or so! I do keep thinking it will pass but it's hard to see when and how - it's been like this since july/aug at least - and that's a large chunk of his life!

x

[Fuschia]

I kn ow it seems forever.. but a 6m old baby is still so tiny.. things WILL change, Really!

[alieh]

Snowboarder, sorry it's so tough at the moment. I had similar with a VERY alert, very distracted feeder. Who knew that alertness was such a flipping annoying trait in a baby - no sleep, crazy feeding. Arghh!

Given that you've made it to 6 months (medal?!) you may find it easier to go with the milk in a cup rather than bothering with a fight over a bottle. And I'm sure you've already thought of this, but going to bottle feeding will carry faffing of its own when you're out (i.e. warming, sterlising...not sure as I haven't done it, but there seems to be rigamarole about bottles when out).

I know it is so hard when people say it will get better....it's like you need a date and time of when it will. What I did about the distracted feeding around 5-6 months is to space out the daytime feeds a bit, pretty much I did (and still do) 4 feeds including wake up and bedtime and if one of these feeds is crap then oh well...may offer the boob again if he's grizzly but if he doesn't want it then fine with me. I also started to try to limit the night feeds to 2 after my bedtime by sending my DH in to resettle if it had been less than 3 or 4 hours since he fed at night. Then at nearly 8 months I stopped feeding at night altogether. This was once he was doing really well with solids (baby led weaning and he loves food). Just handed the night reigns over to my DH and got him to settle him by cuddling, shhing, anything other than feeding. I know lots of people keep nightfeeding indefinitely and I really do admire them, but I'd had enough!

Not sure if this helps, but this is just my personal story about WHEN it got better for me.

Of course after 3 months of loving solid foods, he has basically refused to eat any solids for the last couple of weeks (cold, ear infection, teething) so the feeding problems just rear their head again in a different guise!