Jump to content

Recommended Posts

I have applied for an appointment with a family mediation firm but in the mean time wondered if anyone could tell me the answer to this?


My partner left last year. We weren't married tho we had lived together for years. Our eldest child (aged 4) has just started reception and our youngest child (aged 2) has 2 days a week in a nanny share.

if the child maintenance he is legally required to pay is around ?400 a month, yet he works full time and I work 2 days a week (so nanny share needed 2 days a week for youngest and after school pick ups by a childminder needed twice a week for my eldest) is it the case that he doesn't have to pay for any of the childcare? That it's supposed to be included in the general maintenance equation?

I've been told different things by different people?any light you can shed forum?

I did look into it for a friend and it seemed her husband wasn't required to pay for childcare. In the event he's paid nothing apart from a one off payment in 18months and even if he had, the childcare for three kids was prohibitive so she couldn't work. Depressing and unhelpful I'm afraid.. Good luck though. It's great progress even to be getting to mediation. x

The amount of childcare and cost (to you) is irrelevant. He is legally required to pay maintenance at the government rate. (As is surely correct - because the cost of raising children are not limited to the expense of their childcare...)


However the amount of maintenance he needs to pay will be proportionately reduced according to the number of nights the children spend at his. The amount will also be reduced if he goes on to have any further children, and even if (although this is controversial, i think it is still the case) he starts living with a new partner who has children...


Do get legal advice on your position. Best of luck with sorting everything out!

Thank you everyone.

My research so far tells me that..

If I work I get ?64 a day before tax. I will now need to pay ?85 a day childcare, so if I work and my ex doesn't have to contribute anything to childcare, I will lose 20 quid a day by working, while he pays no childcare costs.

This means me not working at all to look after our children or paying the entire childcare amount even tho it means I'm losing money simply in order to facilitate him earning 60k a year. The alternative to me working for a loss is to have benefits.

*Note to self* - if I get up to the pearly gates and reincarnation exists, come back as a man.

My niece is going through the same thing and the solicitor has told her he only has to pay ?400 per month including everything. He chose to live 300 miles away with his new girlfriend but my niece has to pay half of his travelling costs! He says its too far to see his son at his own home and have to leave his pregnant girlfriend alone. Obviously a male judge decided that one! Good luck and big hug hellosailor x
Sympathies. The mediation people will hopefully be able to tell you whether this is remotely a runner, but you could apply to the court for spousal maintenance. These orders are not very common any more but they can be ordered to run for a defined period for a defined matter, ie additional funds to support you in establishing the career that you, presumably, have had to put on the back burners when you had your children.

Thank you everyone, will look into that Simonethebeaver.


Cheryl_M that is a totally grim situation, your poor niece. Her ex partner will also be able to reduce his maintenance payments to her for their children when his new child is born as he's spreading his finances between more children..I learnt that today too

This thread has really opened my eyes, what an unfair system :(


Hope you get the advice and help you need to make things work, Hellosailor. Seems so wrong that it would make more financial sense for you to stop work and claim benefits!


I assume you've looked into tax credits etc?

I think I've already mentioned this in our PMs Hellosailor, but I just wanted to clarify the point simonethebeaver raised in case it applies to others. Spousal maintenance is only an option if you were married.

The law is unequal in the way it treats married and unmarried couples on separation and it can be incredibly unfair to the parent left with the children.

The child maintenance website is www.cmoptions.org and this will help people with issues like reductions in child maintenance for overnight contact and ex-partners going on to have more children, both of which significantly affect the maintenance calculation.

I am sending you support and strength and crossing everything that you find a way forward in mediation.

  • 3 weeks later...

simonethebeaver Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Yes, have a look on here: http://entitledto.co.uk

>

> If you qualify for certain benefits you may get

> free childcare hours for your two year old.


Definitely look into the free Childcare for 2 yr old and also claim Childcare vouchers for after school care x

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • The issue must be everywhere at the moment. I was visiting a friend last week in Bermondsey, think we were walking  down Linton Rd & we dodged 7 dog poos. It was disgusting. 
    • Thanks for your message — I actually took the time to look into what CityHive does before posting my original comment, and I’d encourage anyone with questions to do the same. Yes, the Companies House filings are overdue — but from what I’ve gathered, this seems likely to be an accountant or admin issue, not some sign of ill intent. A lot of small, community-based organisations face challenges keeping up with formalities, especially when they’re focused on immediate needs like food distribution. Let’s not forget CityHive is a not-for-profit, volunteer-powered CIC — not a corporate machine. As for the directors, people stepping down or being replaced is often about capacity or commitment — which is completely normal in the voluntary and community sector. New directors are sometimes appointed when others can no longer give the time. It doesn’t automatically mean bad governance — it just means people’s circumstances change. CityHive’s actual work speaks volumes. They buy most of the food they distribute — fresh produce, essential groceries, and shelf-stable items — and then deliver it to food banks, soup kitchens, and community projects across London. The food doesn’t stay with CityHive — it goes out to local food hubs, and from there, directly to people who need it most. And while yes, there may be a few paid staff handling logistics or admin, there’s a huge volunteer effort behind the scenes that often goes unseen. Regular people giving their time to drive vans, sort donations, load pallets, pack food parcels — that’s what keeps things running. And when people don’t volunteer? Those same tasks still need to be done — which means they have to be paid for. Otherwise, the whole thing grinds to a halt. As the need grows, organisations like CityHive will inevitably need more support — both in people and funding. But the bigger issue here isn’t one small CIC trying to make ends meet. The real issue is the society we live in — and a government that isn’t playing its part in eradicating poverty. If it were, organisations like CityHive, The Felix Project, City Harvest, FareShare, and the Trussell Trust wouldn’t need to exist, let alone be thriving. They thrive because the need is growing. That’s not a reflection on them — it’s a reflection on a broken system that allows people to go hungry in one of the richest cities in the world. If you're in doubt about what they’re doing, go check their Instagram: @cityhivemedia. You’ll see the real organisations and people receiving food, sharing thanks, and showing how far the impact reaches. Even Southwark Foodbank has received food from CityHive — that alone should speak volumes. So again — how does any of this harm you personally? Why spend time trying to discredit a group trying to support those who are falling through the cracks? We need more people lifting others up — not adding weight to those already carrying the load.
    • Well, this is very disappointing. Malabar Feast  has changed its menu again. The delicious fish curry with sea bass no longer exists. There is now a fish dish with raw mango, which doesn't appeal. I had dal and spinach instead, which was bland (which I suppose I could/should have predicted). One of my visitors had a "vegetable Biriani" which contained hardly any vegetables. Along with it came two extremely tiny pieces of poppadom in a large paper bag.   This was embarrassing, as I had been singing Malabar's praises and recommending we ordered from there. The other mains and the parathas were OK, but I doubt we will be ordering from there again. My granddaughters wisely opted for Yard Sale pizzas, which were fine. Has anybody else had a similar recent poor (or indeed good!)  experience at Malabar Feast?
    • Another recommendation for Silvano. I echo everything the above post states. I passed first time this week with 3 minors despite not starting to learn until my mid-30s. Given the costs for lessons I have heard, he's also excellent value.
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...