Infected 2nd degree tear and epidural question.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

My week gets better and better, after the nightmare birth, and my concerns that my stitches were not done properly, I spent the week in agony, it got so bad I could not sleep, I was crying like a baby, so an emergency doctor was called out, he checked my stitches and said not only was it one of the worse stitchings he has ever seen but that I had a really bad infection in some of them. I went to my GP who also confirmed this and I was sent to Kings Labour ward in the hope that they can redo it properly, but as the infection is so bad they cannot re do it in case it pushes the infection deeper inside, causing major problems, I had to stay in overnight and I had courses of antibiotics by drip. I have been sent home with various antibiotics, painkillers, etc, and trying to wee, poo, walk,sit etc with an infected open wound by one's anus is not fun. Kings have been absolutely awful for me since day one, never ever again and to botch up my stitchings too...the icing on the cake.

I have yet to go out with my son, have visitors, etc,I can safely say apart from having my son, it has been the worst week of my entire life, I need a holiday after all of this is over. Here is hoping this week things improve!

I had my epidural 8 days ago, but my left leg and foot is still numb in some places, is this normal?

Oh and my poor darling son is tongue tied, i was the one who spotted it when he was struggling to feed, no one at Kings did, they confirmed he is tongue tied and he is having it snipped on Tuesday

[sillywoman]

Yes it's normal Heidi, though uncommon. It will wear off eventually but can take some months. Like all drugs epidurals have side effects and it's impossible to predict in advance how the drug will affect each individual.

Infected stitches are also normal and common. Keeping clean and dry is crucial. A hairdryer on cool setting on the stitches after bathing, some say salt water baths help, a valley cushion (hire from Alison Tunley: 0207 639 6366) or a small travel cushion for sitting on, try to get unbleached maternity pads and change them frequently to avoid irritation and reinfection. Finally some Mums find using a squirty water bottle to mix warm water into the stream when they wee helps to reduce any stinging. Also watch your diet - lots of fruit and veg and water (steer clear of citrus fruits - it won't help the stinging) to avoid any constipation (ouch!).

Tongue tie is also common - Kings have a specialised clinic for it. No, they don't expect to be the ones to spot it, it's something that usually becomes apparent within the first week or two and is usually flagged up by the parents (as in your case) as they are the ones spending the most time with the baby and responsible for the baby's health. Occasionally a community midwife or health visitor will be the one to see it, even more rarely one of the overworked midwives on the postnatal ward, but mostly it's the parents.

As with all things to do with your babies health and growth from the point of birth on it's the parents responsibility to ensure the babies ongoing wellbeing and bring any discrepancies to the attention of the health carers - their only responsibility is to investigate those discrepancies as fully as possible and take appropriate action. And from what you say it seems Kings has done this all the way through for both you and your baby.

So, maybe you can take some comfort in the knowledge that your experiences are common? Hopefully you'll get lots of posts with advice of what other women did to ease their infected stitches. Labour and birth are arduous and risky businesses and the more interventions you have during the process the higher the risks of a longer recovery time as in your case. Rest well, take all offers of help and hopefully you'll soon be on the mend.

[Fuschia]

The fact these things do happen, all too frequently, is sad but true. Induction isn't always successful and can end up with ling drawn out labours, failure to progress and emergencyCS. What's so sad is that HH feared exactly that, and enquired about an elective CS, and while she wa sactually in Kings it seems her certainty that the pessary was placed wrong was not taken seriously and she didn't receive the compassion, acre and support she hoped for as a first time mother, in pain and panic. Now to find she has infected stitches must eb alomost too much to bear.

HH, I wish you strength and healing. You can request to meet with the midwives and see your birthnotes and talk through exactly what happened, when you feel well enough.

xx

[Belle]

Oh Heidi, really feel for you - sounds awful. I didn't have nearly such a bad time but still think of that first week as the worst week of my life, despite the arrival of my son. The good news is it does get better from here, and this is the worst bit because you're in recovery AND have a new being to deal with, plus the trauma of a difficult birth. As Fuschia says, do get your birth notes talked through when you feel like it, it really does help. And do write to King's (I can give you details of who I wrote to when you feel up to it - it took me 3 months or so to have the time/energy but was therapeutic in itself).

Also - just because something is normal etc, doesn't stop it being upsetting, especially when as in your case youv'e had a whole load of things going wrong. So as others have said, take advantage of offers of help because you do need to go easy on yourself when you can. I also found it shocking that King's didn't pick up on things, and though as Sillywoman says it becomes the parents' responsibility at birth to flag things, the fact is that in these early post birth blurry days, especially with your first child, you can't possibly know what's what. Do you have community midwives or a friendly GP you can go to for reassurance and to ask questions of? I found both helpful.

[Mellors]

I think the fact that midwives/health visitors don't pick up on tongue ties is disgraceful.

Both my children failed to thrive/lost loads of weight when breastfeeding, and I had no idea why (thought it was my fault I couldnt keep them on the boob and they were starving). It turns out they were both tongue tied, and nobody in the NHS system (or people at the breastfeeding cafes I went to in tears) noticed it.

Given it happens to about 1 in 10 babies, it should surely be on some checklist the health visitors have, as it is so easy to spot and deal with? The lack of it being spotted surely contributes to the terrible breasfeedinbg rates we have in this country - if I hadn't been so damned determined second time to get help (despite the NHS's best efforts!) I would simply have bottle fed.

I've since helped two other friends of mine get their babies tongue ties sorted out - buy why isn't the system picking it up?

[ludoscotts]

hi im so sorry that you have had such a bad first week but on the bright side at least with getting the infection your stitches are being checked and they will see if things are ok for you. I unfortunatley was sewn up too much, at my docs appointment for the 6?8? week check up-(cant remember when it was now) they didnt check my stitches I was just asked is everything ok? I told them that I was still a bit tender and she said it was normal. Since the birth of my daughter we have hardly been able to have intercourse as I hurts me too much(tends to be when ive had enough alcohol to make me think its a good idea-so not often!!!) the 1st doctor I saw gave me some cream to rub on the area 20mins before hand to numb the area and told me when I have another baby it would be sorted out. not likely when we cant have sex to be able to concieve another and hardly romantic having to pop off 20mins before to numb everything down. I kept on at the doctors and im now booked in for a small op next week to correct everything. (22months after having my daughter!)

this is apparently very common as its such a hard area to fix so if any of you have stitches get them checked at your check-up and if you are getting any pain 8-10 weeks after birth them start questioning if everything is ok. Im very lucky in that my hubby has been very pacient and understanding but I could see going this long without being intimate could put a huge strain on some relationships.

I hope you start to feel better soon heidi and if you fancy a coffee with other mums when you are back on your feet some of us meet on a mon or fri, leanne

[Ko]

heidi poor you. i hope you are starting to feel better and that is one gorgeous baby boy you have. got an nct catalogue in the post and saw these feme pads (with inserts you freeze!) which sound like they could be helpful. haven't used them myself but thought i'd give you the link. xxx

http://www.nctshop.co.uk/searchprods.asp

edited to say link doesn't work for some reason. put 'feme pad' in nct shop search box and it comes up.

[curlykaren]

Ouch...don't beat yourself up about not going out yet, I had a dream birth and spent two weeks at home. TAKE IT EASY xx

[gwod]

Poor, poor you. It is very discouraging to feel so ill at a time when you need all your faculties about you to attend to you new baby. I dont really have any advice, but hope that you can feel the groundswell of goodwill from all the ED mothers - these first weeks can be very hard, but you will get through it.

I wish you strength and sleep.

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Thanks Ladies! Once I get back into a routine I shall be posting on here more but as baby is only 11 days everything has been a blur. He got his tongue snipped yesterday, it was so horrible leaving my son for a few seconds in the capable hands of the doctor and having him handed back to me crying with a mouthful of blood, he happily sucked on my boob and seems to be ok, but at night time it was obviously sore as he was up all night and would not let me put him down so he slept on my chest for most of the night, not sure the health visitor would approve of the co sleeping!

As for my cut, they consultant was very apologetic but said my skin where the stitches came undone is too raw and too infected and they would never risk redoing it there in case they push the bacteria internally thus causing me major damage. She said I will be on a long term course of antibiotics and painkillers until my skin somehow sticks together, forms a scab and starts healing, which will take long because no air gets down those bits and the urine constantly makes it wet.

I can only pee standing up in the bath or shower as not to get the wound infected or wet so I am limited to where I go and what I do, and i need constant monitoring to make sure it does not get infected,I just have to bear the pain until it heals, which she says will take months and months. Gutted but that is my luck! I am absolutely loving and enjoying my son, I spend hours just admiring him! xx

Thanks Ko for the link, I shall give it a bash, I tried freezing my sanitary towel but it didn't freeze for some reason!

Ludocotts, so sorry to hear about your sufferings, no one tells you these things eh?! Hope you succeed in making baby number 2!

[Yorkie]

I had 3rd degree tears (fortunately not infected) and found lavender essential oil in my bath alternated with salt/savlon baths really soothed them. Sorry to hear you've had such a rough time, early motherhood is really hard (I have an 8 week old and am only now coming out of shock and I had a straightforward delivery!). A friend told me the mantra of motherhood is "this too will pass" and I've found it really helpful to repeat to myself. You sound like you're doing great, enjoy your beautiful boy.