My nightmare Birth!!

[Dulwich Born And Bred]

Baby is currently sleeping after I have mastered the breast feeding from two days ago. Hard going but only because I am so sore and in pain that staying mobile in a comfortable position for hours on end to feed my hungry son is hard work but I like that he has taken to it and it is not as bad as I thought it would be.

I went into Kings on Friday around 2pm when a bed was available to be induced. From the moment the trainee midwife inserted the pessary I knew she did it wrong, it was absolutely agony from the minute she inserted it. I was just 2cm at that time. Throughout the whole time until I gave birth, my son's heartbeat was going sky high and very low, I was constantly on the monitor and his heartbeat was not consistent.

Shortly after the pain increased in intensity, it was unlike any pain I had ever experienced before, and it was just from the place she inserted the pessary, come 5pm, I could not cope with the pain anymore and could not believe that I was just suffering that from the first pessary and how would I cope if I had to have another pessary inserted and then a drip on top of that and that I could suffer like this for 48 hours. I thought I had a high pain threshold so I could not believe how hellish the pain was. I demanded painkillers, I was given around 8 painkillers in a few hours, they did nothing, the pains got worse but with horrible back pains too. I was cracking up, I could not sit down, lay down, or stand up, so every couple of minutes I was moving from standing, to sitting to laying position, each making me cry and wince in pain. I tried to walk but the pain was so bad in my stomach that I could just about drag my legs anywhere. My mum and partner tried giving me massages etc but I was so zoned out with the pain.

In the end i could not cope with it anymore and demanded the pessary gets removes or someone checks it, they refused, saying once it is in they could not remove it and i have to endure it for 48 hours unless I go into labour before. I was shocked, confused that in 2009 I was going through this. The pain became so bad that I screamed the place down, I was given a shock of pethidine to the thighs... it did nothing but make me see doubles, so in between seeing doubles, wanting to die, and trying to deal with the pain, I was yelling out for someone to please do something, another shot of pethidine was given to me, again nothing.... one midwife started taking note of me, and saw that everything she was going, massage, swiss ball, etc was not working, she noticed my pain, and gave me gas and air to help, she noticed that none of it was having an effect and knew something was wrong, she said she will remove my pessary for me even though she was not supposed to, she did, and she confirmed what I knew all along, it was in the wrong place. Once she removed it, the pain died down a little but not enough, about an hour late or so, I was screaming and screaming that I needed to push but it felt like I should not push because it was the wrong time and the wrong type, I was rushed to the labour ward, I was 8cms dilated, I had an awful midwife who did not want to give me anything and said I could push as I was only 2cms away, I said no, I wanted an epidural or c section, she tried forcing my legs open to make me give birth naturally but each time I felt the urge to push I had to force my legs shut because I knew I could not give birth like this, instincts! What is more upsetting is no one comes to check how dilated you are or anything, so you had no idea of any kind of progress, it was a case of leaving you to it and having to demand to get attention when you felt things were happening or not happening.

After yelling, demanding my mum comes down, and she did, and demanding an epidural, I was finally given one, and despite being topped up twice with the epidural, using gas and air and not to mention ALL the other drugs i had beforehand, I felt all the pains and contractions though my legs were numb, the pains in my stomach area were awful and my back. The baby was still in distress, and I just could not birth him naturally, it was good that I demanded an epidural as myself and baby got into distress that the theatre was on standby, I had the whole emergency surgery team, from the top consultants to the trainess, all rushed into my room to perform a cut and deliver my son by ventouse, I lost a massive amount of blood, it was pretty scary hearing the guy shouting out " We have a massive bleed" and everyone running around like mad putting on the oxygen mask on me, reassuring me and my partner and mum trying not to look scared, my placenta got embedded in me also and fell apart so I could not dontate the cord and I have lots and lots of stitches down below. My son was plopped onto me at 15.39pm on saturday 5th September weighing a healthy 7lbs and 11oz, he was clearly overdue as he had very dry skin! I absolutely love him to bits. I am still suffering terribly now, can barely walk, I still have not regained all feelings in my legs due to the drugs and my son and I are still pretty drugged up and spaced out. I cannot wait to start healing and being able to be mobile, at the moment as my cut is pretty bad I am unable to get about much or change his nappy or lift him out of the cot.

Agony! I don't know how women do it more than once.

I have a lovely midwife who has informed me that I need to complain about what happened and I shall. I am still in shock about the whole thing.

Thank you all so much for your advices, well wishes and so on.

( apologies for any mistakes!)

Here is my little trouble maker!

[candj]

Congratulations HeidiHi. It sounds like a real nightmare, and I was absolutely stunned to read your post, but glad all is okay in the end.

Take good care.

Best,

-C

Edited to add, he's adorable!

[Pickle]

Sorry you had a bad time Heidi, but lovely to read that your son is happy & healthy and that you've mastered the art of breastfeeding already. I hope the healing doesn't take too long and look forward to seeing you out and about in East Dulwich with your little man - he's gorgeous.

Take care,

P x

[sophiesofa]

He is beautiful and well worth all the pain and worry! Sounds like a hurrendous birth though and I hope you heal and feel better soon.

[Fuschia]

Oh Heidi , how awful.

But he's beautiful.xx

[sanity girl]

Dear Heidi

your son is absolutely beautiful - congratulations. The birth sounds terrible, but believe me before long the memory of the pain will recede and your stitches will heal. Good luck

x

[Jessie]

Massive congratulations, and so so sorry to hear you went through all that. My birth was pretty horrendous, too, but let me reassure you the forthcoming months/years make up for it.

Jess x

[ratty]

Well your little one is adorable. Absolutely perfect! So sorry to hear of your bad experience. Sounds awful, but the little fella will be worth it.

Congrats Mum!!

[Smiler]

Congratulations Heidi Hi, he is gorgeous. Sorry that you had a bad time and hope you feel better soon.

[Citrovie]

Ouch what an awful experience, I'm so sorry...

Glad all is well now, that's more important on the long run although it doesn't take away the fact that your birth experience was a nightmare. Take your time to recover and enjoy your son!

[curlykaren]

oh my gosh, that sounds awful. if its any consolation the sleep deprivation you are about to experience will make you forget your own name as well as the terrible time you had. Boy looks bonny, congrats xx

[millie42]

Well done you! He is totally adorable.

My first son's birth was a total nightmare and I ended up being pretty traumatised about the whole thing. However rest assured in time you will forget it all - I did and I went on to have another (.... I blame it on amnesia/insanity).

Enjoy him as they are small for such a short time.

M

[Moos]

Congratulations, Heidi, you must be so glad your lovely son is finally here.

[Ko]

well done heidi and sorry to hear about your experience. he's is absolutely gorgeous xxxx

[Mellors]

He is SO adorable. I am going to come round and steal him.*

* (not really, before anybody reports me to Social Services)

xxxxx

[Belle]

Aw, congrats, what a nightmare birth story for you, but what a lovely ending! I had a traumatic birth and was lucky enough to have the midwife who was with me come and see me to talk thorugh my notes - an idea for further down the line maybe. I found it very helpful and therapeutic. In the meantime just go easy on yourself as you're in recovery!

[snowboarder]

Oh my lord Heidi that all sounds totally traumatic....But many many congratulations and hope you both recover quickly. He looks lovely! x

[sillywoman]

Congratulations Heidi, what a beautiful boy. Welcome to the world of Motherhood - I hope you've got plenty of people looking after you for a couple of weeks or so?

[kristymac1]

Many congratulations Heidi, he's adorable. I hope you have lots of support over the next couple of weeks -it certainly sounds like you need it.

Enjoy this time, it's wonderfully special and passes by so quickly xx

[pommie]

Congratulations on your baby but sorry to hear it wasnt a nice experience. Please make sure that you complain as i think some people just dont bother and it needs to be done so that the hospitals know of the situations.

What did you call your son?

[carrieon23]

Congratulations on the birth of your beautiful boy. Im so sorry you had such a horrendous time of it.

xx

ps. Its probably an obvious suggestion, but a haemorroid ring is a marvelous invention! I was very firmly attached to one for about two weeks and it made it so much more comfortable to sit down especially for those early b/f that take forever.

[KatsuQueen]

Congratulations!! I am so sorry that you had a bad experience too but your little boy looks lovely! Thanks for posting and it has really spurred me on to chase it up with PALS and get some response on my experience. Will let you know if I get anywhere.

[Belle]

Oh yes, forgot to say that I sent a lengthy complaint to King's and was really pleased with the response I got. It really felt like they took on board my points and even acted on some. However that response was from the midwifery team - I've yet to hear from the obstetric team, who are also due to reply apparently. Sorry, don't want to hijack with mundane details, at the moment letter writing will be the last thing on your mind!

[The Nappy Lady]

Very glad he's here at last HH, but sad that you didn't get to have a positive birth experience, something I would wish for every woman.

Time does heal the memory though, and you are both safe thank goodness. I do hope your recovery is swift and easy. Enjoy the babymoon.

Molly

[kenzo]

Heidi, congratulation on having the little one on other side of the belly! He is so beautiful. Hope you will recover very soon.

However your experience has scared me to death and left me in tears as I'm going to Kings tomorrow to have induced birth.