Commuting into London with baby

[Claref]

Does anyone commute to a nursery near their workplace in London? I've just been offered a nursery place for my 8 month old baby near where I work, but can't decide if the journey would be too stressful, though I love the idea of having her near me. Would love to hear if you have experienced this.

[quickbrownfox]

I commuted briefly with my daughter to Canary Wharf from 8 months old, and for quite some time to London Bridge (only 2 days a week). We occasionally now take her to my husband's work nursery in town too. I remember some days when she was little, we would literally get her out of bed, straight into warm clothes, into the buggy and bundle her out the door - she'd have her bottle on the way to the station. It never seemed right.

So, based on my experience, it is not something I'd recommend. Some days, it all goes swimmingly, and others, you're on a packed commuter train with a tired and screaming baby and you just wish you could click your heels and be home. That said, it does depend on the exact logistics - eg. how close you are to the station, what time you'll be on the move, how good the station access is, how long the walk is to the nursery etc etc... it's the little things that will make it bearable or not! I found between 1 and 2 years were the worst for commuting - this was when she seemed to always want to be getting out of the buggy and generally seemed quite annoyed by it all! Now she's older, we have a great time when we need to travel.

If it's a really great nursery, it may just work out, and it is psychologically a definite advantage to have them near you while at work... but I would do a few dry runs (in winter, when it's dark and miserable if possible) before deciding.

[Pugwash]

Years ago my youngest went to my work place nursery in Westminster, was 40 - 60 mins bus ride. OK whilst fairly young but coming home at night when she was around 1 was nightmare as she would not sit still. Work had another nursery in Bellenden Road so we transferred there - 20 walk in morning.

As a parent - you are entitled to ask for a change in your working hours - it may be possible to go in later to avoid the main crush and finish later. My nursery was open from 7.30 - 6.30 pm

[Claref]

Thanks both very much for your advice. You have confirmed what my head was telling me, though I so much wanted to hear that it would be fine.

[fearnpw1]

I'd like to offer an entirely different point of view. I've commuted to work (by car) with my daughter since she was 6 months old and it's worked well for me. As a baby she would wake up for a feed around the time I left home anyway so it simply meant putting some clothes on her, giving her a feed and popping her into her car seat. The journey to work would take about 45mins (East Dulwich to White City) during which she would sleep. I left home around 7am to avoid the traffic, would feed her again in the car just before I took her into my workplace nursery and head off to work. I'd then go and see her at lunchtime for another feed before picking her up at 4.30pm to go home (again avoiding the worst of the traffic).

This routine meant I spent far more time with my daughter than I otherwise would have and, as with all little ones when they start nursery, I was able to be there within 5mins each time she was taken ill, which happened a lot over that first year. Knowing I was close by was a great comfort and the nursery was superb and heavily subsidised - I was lucky to get a place there.

I was also still feeding my daughter myself and I find it hard to envisage a scenario that would have allowed me to go back to work full time again - I did find leaving her quite traumatic and was very upset at the beginning, but having her so close to me made it workable for me. But everyone's different and I'm sure other people would criticise me for being a full time mum or going back to work when my daughter was only 6 months old.

Now, my workplace nursery hs closed but my daughter is in a private nursery close to my work. We enjoy driving into work together each morning (with her daddy in the car too) and in the afternoon. She is very tired at the end of the day but sleeps for an hour en route home, which again means we can eat together in the evening.

I had to commute in with her by train one day and I spent about 2.5 hours travelling each way so I would never recommend that. There's not enough room on the train for a pushchair, then you rely on helpful strangers when you reach a set of stairs with no available escalator etc. and it's very stressful.

Good luck with whatever decision you arrive at!

Patricia

[Moos]

I see twin girls commuting in on many mornings, and their parents seem to have it sussed (although they look about 2). Sometimes you can see people being a bit sniffy about their being a little noisy, but the parents seem rightly to ignore it.

[fuzzyboots]

I faced this possibility and decided to give up work instead!

I think if you're driving it's no problem. But if you're on public transport, it can be v. stressful, no matter how broad your shoulders are. Pushchairs seem to get the worst reaction because they take up so much space and slow you down and therefore everybody behind you. If you can do it in a sling, so much the better, I reckon. I'd choose a brightly coloured sling over a discreet one, so that people can see that you're not just a single body when they try to barge past/round you.

[jeh]

I've commuted into work for the last 2 years with my daughter - since she was 8 months old. The big upside is that I can drop her at 9 and pick her up at 5, we went through a bit of a sticky time on the train when it was hard to keep her entertained but now its not bad at all. Also its not overly easy on the stairs but I had an ergo baby carrier til she was about 16 mnths and now I have a really lightweight pram that I fold up and carry down the stairs.

The main problem now is stopping her from pointing at people and commenting loudly on their physical appearance etc.

I don't have far to go though and I'm pretty certain I wouldn't have done it if I'd had to use the tube.

[quickbrownfox]

Jeh - totally identify. I remember the day our daughter pointed directly at a man sitting opposite us and said "That man, he's a big one!". Mortifying.

[Claref]

Thanks for all the advice - I think I'll do some trial runs before committing. Really good to hear a mixture of experiences. Unfortunately the journey may mean a bus, train and tube, so I think it might be too much.

[Smiler]

Advantages of having her near work would seem to be that you could spend more time at the start and end of day with her; and having more choice of nurseries.

If she is ill the nursery will want you to take her straight home: you will be able to get to her slightly quicker than with a nursery in Dulwich(though with the stress of travelling home from central London with an ill baby). In practice, you probably wouldn't pop into see her during the day that often - when we've done this with our daughter, e.g. for events involving parents, it seems to unsettle her.

I had a real dilemma about nursery, but now quite like knowing that our daughter (16 months) is in a nursery near to home. Selfishly, I see the journey to and from work as time for myself, I walk part of the way, get coffee, listen to music etc. When she's been ill it's been easy enough to come back, pick her up and take her to the doctors (near the nursery), and they have always looked after her well until we could get there. When my partner drops her off in the morning it's breakfast time, so she dives straight in, and at the end of the working day it's nice to arrive in Dulwich and collect her, she is normally happily playing.

Good luck in finding the right solution for you.

[sledge]

Hi there

I've been commuting with my toddler since he was 10 months old. Originally my commute consisted of a 40 minute walk which was fine. Since we've moved to E.Dulwich it is about 1 hour 45 minutes each way, and consists of bus, train, walk (25 mins) and then a tube (but the tube bit I do on my own). He is 2 years old now, and I find the journey exhausting. We did try the bus as this went nearly all the way but I had so many issues with the drivers not letting me on with the pushchair that I found it really frustrating - and then my little boy didn't want to stay in the pushchair. For some reason, the train is more entertaining for him. I get off at Peckham rye and then get the 12 bus (which holds more pushchairs) - I've been very lucky and people help with carrying my pushchair down the stairs at rye station. I'm now 5 months pregnant so the journey will get harder!!

I'm waiting for a local nursery place but I will then struggle with the later opening hours, and earlier finishing hours (8-6 around E Dulwich) versus 7-7 in town. I currently start work at 815 and finish at 4.30 so I have no idea how I will manage timings in the future!

All I can say is good luck and I hope you find a solution that works for you!

[chantelle]

sledge - that sounds awful!! we moved a couple of weeks ago and are taking our son to nursery near Waterloo three days a week until his nanny share starts soon, and I've found it an absolute nightmare dealing with him in his sling on the bus. (he throws massive tantrums as he gets bored and hot) He's much better on the train (from Peckham Rye to E&C) because at least it's very fast and then we're on the move walking or taking a short bus ride. I wouldn't want to do it long term though, that is for sure. He's 13 months. haven't dared to use a buggy because of the steps issue, and not wanting to deal with possibly not getting on buses because they're full. if we weren't doing a nanny share, i'd find a local childminder.

[Maki]

I will be commuting to work in 4 weeks time with my 8 months old. I don't think it will be a problem though as I will be driving (Canary Wharf area - so not long), but there is no way I would want to get public transport.

The main down side for me will be that my husband won't ever get to do any of the drop offs or pick ups, and it would be nice to have that flexibility. The upside is I get much more time with her, can see her within a few minutes if needed and because my work own the building the nursery is situated in it is half the price of a ED nursery, meaning I don't have to work full time.

Sledge - you must be superwoman! It sounds like a very tiring day. I guess there is no way you can drive? Fingers crossed you find a local nursery place soon ( I just pulled out of a place that was held for me at Ascquith day nursery - Peckham Rye, so they may have a spare place...)

[damzel]

I've just had 3 weeks of commuting to work with my daughter as she has been at a nursery near my work whilst my East Dulwich child minder was on hols. It consisted of bus, train and another bus which took about 50 mins in total. I found the whole thing very stressful - we couldn't feed her properly before we left the house so she'd get hungry enroute, I ended up giving her toast to eat on the journey which wasn't ideal. She'd get impatient in the pram so I had to get her out for at least one of the hops which isn't great in the morning - city commuters are particularly impatient and don't like their clean suits to be grabbed by toast covered fingers... Going home was okay but only because I travel before the rush hour, although I had to keep finding new ways of keeping her amused.

My daughter is very laid back and this was probably the most stress I've ever experienced with her (possibly because I was stressed I suppose) so from my experience, if you get the option to find a carer closer to home, I would go with that.

Oh the other thing is, public transport is so HOT! Which is fine I suppose for us but trying to placate a hot and frustrated toddler who you can't get out of the pram because the bus is too packed, it just horrible. I can't imagine what the tube would be like.

And one last thing, I really enjoy my journey to and from work because it's the only time I get to do nothing but read a book or stare out the window or listen to music. I really missed my "me" time the last few weeks. CM back from hols now Hoorah!

[Claref]

Thanks everyone. Damzel - sounds awful! I think I'd find it very stressful too. I've pretty much decided on the local nursery now (Peckham Rye), but will see how it goes once I start back.

Sledge, hope you get a local nursery place soon.

[tallgirl]

I did this for several years during rush hour on commuter trains with my two eldest children. I think a back pack baby carrier is a must, as is a supply of snacks and drink. I found it far better doing the commuting with babies run than I did rushing back for afterschool club pick up and panicking when trains were delayed or cancelled. I think my children actually enjoyed the commute far more than most commuters!

[emma18]

Hello,

Sorry to use this forum for work purposes but I thought you might be able to help. I work for BBC London TV News and we're putting together a series on commuting. At the moment we're looking for the Capital's youngest commuters. I was wondering whether anyone here still commuted with young children/babies and whether you might be interested in talking to the BBC about your experiences - good or bad!

Please send me a message or call me on 07518352758 / [email protected]

Thanks, Emma