Screaming baby - me again!

[Belle]

I posted a few months back about my baby's screaming fits, and got some great advice - pretty much concluded it was largely down to teething pain. Well there are still no teeth (though am sure teething pain still a big factor - all the signs are there) but the screaming fits have recently returned and are worse! No real point to my post as don't expect t here's much advice for this kind of thing other than that it will pass, which is my one comfort. If anyone has a fellow screamer and wants to join a club for screaming babies so we can go and eat lunch in cafes in solidarity, let me know. The other day I took him for lunch in the Tate Modern cafe with a friend - started well, with smiles new round and he won lots of fans. Shortly followed by the entire restaurant staring as screaming fit upon screaming fit befell us...thing is, I k now there's nothing wrong as singing/walking around/surprises do make him stop briefly, and he's been seen recently by a doctor who said he's obviously v healthy. Just likes to express himself I guess...but I can't help envying NCT friends etc whose babies never seem to behave like this!

Just needed to vent!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Ah, I well remember walking to New Cross at 3 in the morning in the pouring rain just to quell the screams. Motion was the only pacifier - do you drive? Stick baby in car seat/pram and meander.

[Belle]

I do but annoyingly motion doesn't seem to calm him - he cried all the way down the M4 the other day, in the end I had to climb into the back during a traffic jam. The only thing that really stops it is giving him the dummy but I'd rather not as try to onlyl use it now and again to help with naps. Unbelievable how loud a 6 month old can be!

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

Sod that. I vowed I'd never use dummies cos I'm a snob. By the time I conceded that I needed help, mine wouldn't accept them and managed a spit-out-of-dummy worthy of a projectile vomiter.

Go with the flow and address the dummy problem later. Sanity is everything at this stage.

[hpsaucey]

Agree - go with the dummy if it works for all your sakes! If it calms him donw then great. There's no evidence it does any harm long term as long as they don't use them forever! IN fact there's even some evidence that dummies reduce the risk of cot death although can't quite remember exactly what the reason for this was.

My eldest had a dummy for a couple of years. Given up and no ill effects!!!

Good luck.

[Mellors]

I sympathise. Son No 1 was a screamer - all the other NCT mummies would meet for lunch and I would come out in a cold sweat at the thought of another public meltdown. I once walked crying my eyes out from Camberwell home because I just couldnt face taking the screaming monster on the bus and everyone staring at me. Again.

When No 2 came along and screamed on her first night I shoved a dummy in and she miraculously stopped. Why I didn't do that with No 1 I have no idea (too scared to admit it to the other mums I think, and had always sworn I wouldn't).

She naturally started pulling hers out when she had hand control at about 5 months and hasnt had one since, but it was a lifesaver in those first few weeks/months.

Its grim, but it will pass......get down the dummy shop!

[Belle]

Brilliant. We do use them as find them v helpful for daytime naps especially but I'd always thought that I shouldn't use them when he's just crying, I think it was something I read somewhere about stopping their expression?! But yes, bollocks to that - whatever works I g uess!

Glad at least it's not just me - I had to leave an NCT meet up the other day as he was shrieking so loudly it rendered conversation pointless. I felt like a pariah! Especially when they look so shocked at his sheer volume...

[plimsoul]

dummies are the best, dont' be so hard on yourself. it's far worse weaning a kid off their thumb and if it means you can relax more well that should be the best reason! i had them with the twins who were impossible, always screaming when other babies were happily burping away in silence. i too left places, often in tears, wondering if i would ever have the well behaved ones.

guess what? they are now the children who actually sit properly in places and play well. it does happen and often it's swings and roundabouts when one year your friends seem to be coasting and then it's all change and you're the one sipping the coffee at the playground.

[helena handbasket]

High intensity babies (sounds like maybe yours is one....) need something to calm themselves down. My son is one, and although the dummy causes no end of horror to me it has always been what we call "his glass of wine at the end of the day". There are only so many days you can cry the whole way home with a screaming baby in the backseat. The moms will stare either way........ :)

Not sure, but it seams you have mentioned somewhere that you're baby is not a great sleeper? I personally think it's a total package; often the babies who don't sleep great at night are also the same babies who are more demanding in the day (tired?).

Anyway, double whammy for the mom. I've been there. I was also the mom who always seemed to be with well rested moms who had easy babies and it was quite demoralizing. Mine's a bit older now but I hope you find someone. Maybe Snowboarder?

[Belle]

high intensity sounds about right - though to be fair we've been very lucky with his sleeping, after the first few months anyway. Lots of my friends are having a rough time at night and then easier in the day, we're the other way around - having both must have been a nightmrae Helena! Have to say today we've had one of our first 'good' days for a while - and have used the dummy loads, so I put it down to that. Hurrah! He is def hard work right now... When he wants out of the highchair he doesn't look disinterested/moan, he screams blue murder. Then the minute he's out, he's fine.

Plimsoul - like the swings and roundabouts analogy, I was hoping that might be the case!

ps very happy to meet up with snowboarder or anyone else, esp as we've prewarned about having a screamy baby!

[EDmummy]

That made me laugh, Belle. Sounds like he is going to be a very interesting individual. I am saying that from experience although mine was a screamer who also didn't like sleep (at night at least), also a dummy lover. He is now a wonderful 8 year old who still has better things to do than sleep, loves intelligent conversation and is incredibly interesting (although has a low boredom threshold). It takes all types. I am happy with 'interesting'.

[hpsaucey]

Another thing about a dummy. Remeber reading something telling me giving a baby a dummy was sort of like 'imposing' it on them. Well, maybe I just thought it to make myself feel better but I remember thinking sod that view point! My baby was old enough to take it out if he didn't like it. In fact he used to delight in putting it in and out so I think it actually gave him both comfort and a little bit of control over something!

Did used to get some disapproving looks, but then, just as many who'd sneak up and say that they were glad to see someone actually using a dummy LOL!! Most things come around again.

[snowboarder]

Oh yes belle happy to meet and compare notes. However I can guarantee that baby snowboarder will smile and coo and fool you and make me look a neurotic moron....

[Belle]

I won't be fooled, mine does that on occasion too - most commonly after a day from hell when his dad gets home, as if to negate my tales of having had a terrible time!

Do hope you manage some rest this week - give me a shout when you get back and we can compare notes on nightmare babies...

[gwod]

I agree with the others about the dummy.... use it if it helps. Actually, I think once they are screaming, sometimes they make themselves worse by gulping down air until they have hiccups and tummyache which prolongs the crying episode, I think a dummy really helps to stop this happening. Also wanted to reassure you that these things pass (and will be replaced by an new equally unbearable trait!) and that the majority of mothers will not make any judgement about you whether your child is crying or has a dummy as we know you just gotta do what gets you and Baby Belle through.

[Belle]

Thanks everyone :) dummy already much more in use and helping a lot! Agree sometimes it seems as though they end up forgetting why they're even crying, but getting really wound up and the hiccups thing has definitely happened.

[emc]

I used to worry terribly that my daughter having a dummy would impede her speech development - but she was talking by 17 months, full sentences soon after so I would do the dummy all over again if I had to...it has done her no harm at all...

[crs]

Yep,totally agree. My take on the whole dummy thing is if you have something that's going to help calm them down and stop them crying, why wouldn't you use it?! All the books say use it as a last resort and whether you think it or not, you probably are so don't fret! It's ridiculous how many hours I've whiled away worrying about the fact my daughter has a dummy - and now at 6 months, the only thing she is interested in doing with it is biting the hard side to help her teething...all the time I was worrying about how I was going to "wean" her off it by 6 months (like all the books say - but my baby doesn't read the books, don't know about yours?!) and of course now I wish it still had the same effect that it had a few months back....poor baby can't win! xxx

[toast]

You have probably had all this but i had a screamer baby no1 and am convinced its all about digestion and burps.... or lack of sleep. There are colicy baby drops you can use to help the bubbles in their tummy find each other and come out in one lovely burp, which often solved the crying for us. Hope it works. Good luck.

[Belle]

Yes digestion def part of it but he's a lot better (in terms of burps - still screaming away!) now. Yes am now guilt-free about the dummy, totally agree -w hatever works! Especially when at the end of your tether. I think he's just v impatient to be moving around, feeding himself etc. And very loud!

[EmmaG]

Oh God, I hope our baby isn't a screamer when it's born. However, I guess we'll get what we're given ... I'm currently reading the Baby Whisperer and the author suggests putting on your iPod when the baby's screaming so you don't have to listen to it. No good in public I guess (unless you have lots of iPods to share out).

[Indigo]

I took my son to the children's osteopathy clinic and it really worked for him.

My gp suggested them when I was pregnant and they really helped with my constant nausea.

You can find the link here: http://www.fpo.org.uk/Secondary/Misc/maps.html

[Evelyn Harper]

I had been using babys dummy since a 3 months and my son didnt scream at nights. I recommend you this Top-Mom site to check.