Newborn in parents room or in it's own room?

[gwod]

4 babies and 4 different ways to have them sleep at night and all of them worked just fine. They definately do sleep through the night better in their own room, but what use is that if you are not sleeping because you are stressing about them. Decide how you feel when you get the baby home, nearly all the plans I made in advance of our babies' arrivals about how I would parent them were wrong...parenting is nearly always about making it up as you go along - that way you can factor in all the variables.

My suggestion would be having a moses basket in your bedroom AND their cot set up in their room so you can choose whichever seems right.... or change it for night time or daytimenaps ...or you can lower the whole moses basket into the cot at 3am if the night time snuffling and gurgling drives you bonkers.

Most important of all is to enjoy it all - the tiny baby bit passes so fast!!

[Smiler]

We had her in our room for ages as the nursery wasn't ready (we'd had lots of work done on our flat), also had a rocking chair which was nice. Some co-sleeping. Enjoyed it. No probs moving her to the nursery at 7 months or so.

But she has always been a terrible sleeper, still doesn't sleep through at over 16 months. I take the view that it's just how she is and have taken the line of least resistance, so we have a double bed in the nursery! She goes off to sleep in her cot and at some point in the night, sometimes as late as 4 or 5 but often earlier, one of us brings her into the bed and stays with her, the other one gets a full night. When we go away for weekends etc. we just co-sleep and she sleeps through.

Before she was born I thought that I should do all the nights as my partner worked full-time, would be the main breadwinner etc. so he needed the rest, but I REALLY regretted it! Did not realise just how hard and relentless it would be. In the first year I was always exhausted, to the point where I became ill. Felt like a different person in every way.

Also had some dangerous incidents when at home with her in the daytime, e.g. falling asleep on the nursery floor one afternoon and she crawled off up the stairs (found her snoozing up there), spilling hot water, carrying stuff up and down stairs and falling while holding her, nearly walking in front of cars, buses, making bad decisions, etc. etc. Luckily it was all OK, but made me realise that something had to change. My partner now does a couple of nights a week to give me a break and I feel much better. I realised that even if I was at home - in fact even more so - I needed to get enough rest to be in a fit state to look after our daughter and myself.

Now I'm back at work I actually find the days when I'm tired much, much easier at work than the ones at home with a lively toddler.

Also, reckon it is good for partners to do nights sometimes. Mine would say things like "why isn't she sleeping through yet?" and "why don't we do X, Y, Z", which I took as personal criticism, and I began to really resent him when he was fast asleep in the middle of the night and I was up again! Feels more of a team now and we can laugh about it (mostly).And she settles better for him than she did when it was always me.

Good luck, hope yours sleeps well!

[Sqiggles]

First time round DD1 was in bed with us for 6 weeks (not what I intedned but we would do anything to get sleep) and then my MIL came to stay and forced us to try her in her own room - worked brilliantly, and we never looked back. DD1 had been in her cot for day sleeps etc, so not a complete shock. But DD1 was always noisy, demanding, woke up and screamed etc, and this way we managed to get some sleep.

DD2 started off in a (borrowed) crib in our room, and was such a delight to have there (quiet, woke gradually to give you time to wake up too, etc etc) that she stayed much longer - until she slept through. I had also mastered breastfeeding lying down by then, so just used to pop her into bed with us for a feed.

What I would say is don't be too hard on yourself if what you end up doing is very different to what you planned - it all sounds so easy until it is the middle of the night and you just want to get some sleep, whatever it takes.....

[Fuschia]

Mr F takes over between 6-7am and I get to kip for another hour or 90 mins, bliss, makes all the difference!

[millie42]

As I mentioned before both of mine slept in our room for at least 6 months and Felix (10 months) I am ashamed to admit is still in a cot in our room!!! BAD/SAD MOTHER I KNOW .

He sleeps in the nursery for his daytime naps but is in with us at night. Thankfully he sleeps through and I am now used to his snoring which often rattles the walls. He is fine in his room but I still love having him in with us. By 6 months I was ready to put my fist son in his room but Felix will be my last baby (far too old for anymore) and I guess I still really love seeing him at night.

Maybe we should have another threat on TIPS ON HOW TO LET GO OF OUR CHILDREN!! just for me.

Michelle

[Superstarpen]

Fuschia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> In my case, I sleep on a futon with the babies...I

> hardly wake when they need attention... with baby

> no 1 MrF was there too (snoring and hogging the

> covers) ... .

>

> This time he is excused!

>

> I think the advice re SIDS prevention is same room

> as the parents for 6 months. Hearing you breathe

> is helpful apparently.

Ha ha... I second having a partner snoring and hogging the covers!!

My son is now 7 1/2 months and we cosleep. He still feeds 3 times a night but I've mastered breastfeeding lying down which has saved my nights. I couldn't stand sitting up in bed feeding him - I got to the point where I was falling asleep sitting up. For naps during the day I have daybeds both upstairs and downstairs - these essentially consist of cot mattresses on the floor which are perfect for him as he's on the move and is turning into a young Houdini!

[quickbrownfox]

I'm going to sound so Victorian - ours went into her own room at 2 weeks. Slept through the night from 6 weeks. She used a dummy only for sleeping (which meant the 'sleep now' cues were powerful and consistent - not for everyone, I know!) and we had a high tech monitor so had peace of mind about all the scary sleep-stuff. There's always been the odd patch when she may sleep in our bed for a few nights, due to some niggle, but generally it's been pretty straight forward. I think it's mostly down to the child though... horses for courses and all that... but unless you are against it in principle, I would try the own room approach sooner rather than later. You can always go back if it doesn't work out...

[woofmarkthedog]

As a very hands on Dad of two boys.

Make a family from the start, sleep in the same space for the first few months but not the same bed....I mean it's lovely but you create so many problems later on.... Funnily you tune in to each others rhythms, plan ahead to give them independence & your selves by dressing & changing them in the room of which they will eventually sleep in. But you know we all slept better & longer with more confidence from the outset in the same space. We are very connected now because of this I feel. You will never sleep the same anyway once the children arrive, I sleep with one eye open. It's just how life is. Love it, live it.

Also when I need a deep sleep I climb into their bed at the back of the house when they are at school.................ohn bliss...sheer bliss

W**F

[jimbo1964]

We slept in the same bed together from the day we brought my son back from the hospital.. We tried him in a moses basket and cot in our room but he wasn't having it. He slept in with us until he was about 18 months. It worked really well for all of us.. I don't remember many sleepless nights.

[Steph]

Same as Jimbo1964 for us. I totally loved having my boy in the same bed from day one, it just felt so natural feeling his breathing next to mine. Admittedly as he got older he did take over the bed but when that time came we bought him his very own bed in his own room (age 2 and a bit) and he loved it from day one and sleeps from 8 til 7 every day.

The part that drove me mad was the getting him to sleep! In the early days we would have to lie with him, then sit in the room while he went to sleep, I mean I remember sitting in there for over an hour sometimes! That I would change if I were to have another one....

[Smiler]

Wish we had a king-sized bed! Our daughter likes to sleep horizontally with her feet in our faces.

[Gubodge]

We have a king size bed; badly timed to coincide with finally having it to ourselves for all but the most exceptional night. But come seven o'clock, with the four year old and the three year old and their two dolls and two bears all pile in it is still a bit of a squeeze. I think we need an emperor.