2 year old pulling out big clumps of his hair - advice??

[hellosailor]

My son has recently turned 2 and has been pulling out clumps of his hair for about a month but it's got worse over the last few days, he's pulled a lot out over the last few days and is creating a large thinning / bald spot.

I have googled hair pulling and trichotillomania in toddlers and the general consensus seems to be to see what happens over another couple of weeks and then consult someone if it continues or gets worse.

I gather it's about stress / anxiety and trying to self soothe (often toddlers who have this suck their thumb as well which my son has always done too) but the thing I'm particularly worried about is that I've got a good idea what's causing it and am not sure how to tackle it. My partner left out of the blue a year ago when my daughter was 3 and my son was 10 months.

To begin with it was her that was outwardly hugely distressed but because he was so little my son obviously didn't 'seem to react' at the time. She has got increasingly used to the situation (he still sees them several times a week) but my son has found it increasingly upsetting as he's become a toddler.

At the same time the hair pulling started, my ex moved flats (he lived with his mum for a year and the children were used to having sleepovers there) and my daughter was very freaked out about going to the new flat for about a week and is now ok about it. My son didn't seem to react much but it was at this time the hair pulling started. He is always very distressed when his dad drops them back (upset his dad is going) and this weekend when he dropped them back the first thing he did when they got out of the car was start ripping handfuls of hair out, it was so upsetting to watch.

Has anyone been through hair pulling and could maybe offer some advice on how to deal with it, how long it lasted? I read that you shouldn't point it out or try to stop it but it's very difficult not to try to stop him in a gentle way?thoughts?? xx

[Bluedark]

Hi there hello sailor. Our daughter did this when she was just over 3.5 years old. Until we realised the extent of it (mainly at night time, just before falling asleep) she did end up with a bald-ish spot. I wasn't overly keen about talking to her or pointing to her but my husband was adamant that she should really not do it...we never got to the bottom of what caused it but I believe it is nervousness around leaving nursery and all the talk about starting reception. Our daughter ducked all direct and subtle questions about why she is pulling her hair. I believe she really didn't realise what she was doing. We have talked to her gently, and asked her to put a sock on her hand (she always used her left hand). She agreed with that, and wore her sock every day. And she stopped pulling her hair (couldn't with the sock!) and after roughly 2 months on we don't put the sock on anymore. She has a comforter that she cuddles with at bed time too. So I am afraid I can't shed much light to the causes but we chose a practical route (as it 90% of the time happened before or during sleep) and it worked for us. Good luck...

[bonacara]

Hi hello sailor, our son when he was about 4.5, used to pull his hair at the back, creating quite a bald patch. A psychiatrist friend said it was stress and nervousness but I really believe it was just a bad habit he got into, like biting nails, or sucking thumbs. I always held his hand when I realised he was doing it and told him to stop. I would often also give him something to hold \ fumble with. I also took a photo of the back of his head to show him how it looked. After about 4 months he stopped and the hair grew back. Now I look back on it as just another phase that passed. Don't worry too much, I am sure your little one will grow out of it soon!

[cristinabarkerjones]

The sock idea is genious! A friend of mine has the same problem with one of her children. I will call her right now to tell her about the socket.

[treehugger]

I feel for you, this must be very distressing. It sounds like you somehow have to deal with his current distress, rather than just the symptom, even though it is very hard. Maybe your GP or health visitor can suggest someone who can help you deal with the issues that are causing his distress. Good luck

[Cherabel]

My daughter used to do this. The doctor told me that in under 5's it's rarely caused by anxiety - it's more of a self-soothing habit like sucking your thumb. We solved it by wearing scratch sleeves at night. It's like a little cardigan with silky mittens attached. You can buy them on www.scratchsleeves.co.uk

Don't worry. They grow out of it. Very unlikely your 2 year old is stressed and anxious.

Xx

[hellosailor]

Thank you everyone, there's some really useful and reassuring stuff here, really appreciate your replies!

x

[Sonners]

My friend's son also did this as a toddler with no apparent reason why so they thought it was a self-soothing habit too. She cut his hair very short for a few years and he grew out of it. I'm not sure how long it lasted in the end but I think it just stopped of his own accord.

Scratch sleeves are great idea for night time (we used to use them to stop eczema scratching at night).