Wildlife on Lordship Lane

[jackangel]

Diversity is of benefit to ecosystems - but when one species begins to dominate, the whole system may become unstable.

The Pallid Parentum Importantisme (Triwheelus Thrustus), regularly seen on a Saturday morning fouling the pavements of Lordship Lane or being chased out of shops by broom wielding assistants in Northcross Road, is a species in point. Possibly damaged during the reproduction process, this mutation typically displays a lack of awareness of its surroundings and its young offspring are largely abandoned in the wild, relying on other breeds to rejoin them with the parent.

The species is attracted by glistening objects ? particularly small rectangular shiny pieces of plastic which they cleverly use as tools to introduce redundant goods and services and inflate prices in their environment. As their numbers increase and their shrill cries dominate the landscape, other animals become reluctant to leave their immediate habitats at the weekend.

There may be several solutions to this imbalance.

The species? natural predator is the Hooded Yobbus (Watchewlookinat). Flocks of these could be caged in the old Walsh Glazing building and let out at times of infestation. However, they otherwise do not seem to thrive naturally in ED conditions.

Alternatively, culling or relocation may be considered. Herds of the species could be lured into Caf? Nerd just before it is boarded up by Southwark Planning. Any survivors could be relocated around the northern end of Rye Lane, an ecosystem that has great need of them.

Any other solutions?

[Jah Lush]

:))LOL. Brilliant. I like your style Jackangel.

[jim_the_chin]

bromide in the water system.

if it had been done 5 years ago i might be enjoying things such as sleep, house space, disposable income and the ability to live somewhere other than within 4.2 metres of a good school - whatever that is.

oh, and i would have been able to shop in ED deli, which i'm prohibited from doing at present.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Cracking first post!

[citizenED]

Spotted loitering at the corner of Matham Grove Lordship Lane Sunday around noon - the v.rare Polici Officus (m). Perhaps a few more of them might be able to chase Hooded Yobbus (Watchewlookinat) away. Perhaps they could engage sevices of Commumiticous Supporti Officus (beautiful bright red plummage) to help them.

citizen

[Nero]

My dear Mr J Angel,

Your post is A*. Well done! I look forward to more nature notes of this kind. E Dulwich and its environs will provide rich pickings for your gimlet glances. Nero (whose metaphors are knowingly mixed).

[louisiana]

And if the Plough turns gastro, will that be the end of Vannus velocitatus (locally known as H. albincans) in the library area? Hope so...

[galvin]

ok, very witty and all that, but really! This, like so many threads (am thinking 'things I dislike about ED' for example)is just an excuse for coded attacks on mothers and the working class (the latter a rare species soon to be priced out of the area). Yes, women have children, yes these children while young need to be transported in a buggy (less bulky than old prams). It is never fathers that are sniped at for having children, anyone want to have a go at explaining why not?! Without people having children, society wouldn't continue (do I really have to say this?), those writing these sorts of misanthropic threads may not have children now, but who knows, may throw caution to the wind and have some one day....

As for the coded jibes about 'chavs', and 'white vans', why not say what you really mean, we all know what you're thinking.

[louisiana]

Nothing coded about it 'galvin': albicans means white.

By having that chunky car park, the Plough is encouraging drink driving, and plenty there seem to indulge.

When I saw the state of the entire frontage on Saturday, I was very glad I wasn't out and about the previous night.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Galvin

I'm sure as this thread devlops there will be many a latin label for the rest of the demographic (Duranis Duranis - a now thirty/fortysomething white middle-class person who still thinks they are 21 as an-off-the-top-of-my-head-bad-example)

Personally I don't think many people have problems with mothers (or fathers) or the "working class" - but I think that if any parent decideds that JUST because they have a child they think it's clever and big to spend an average weeks working salary on a buggy wider than the average ED pavement just to display their parenthood then they do become the target of a little ridicule - I wouldn't worry about it, it doesn't seem to discourage anyone having babies

As for references to "chavs" et al - there are some people in this world who do equate any working class person as such and that is poor form. There are many middle-class people on this forum but also plenty working-class and definitely lot's of brought-up-workingclass (and the odd poshie too!) - it's a big tent (for ?80) and one of the reasons I like coming here. But to paraphrase Chris Rock, if I get mugged on the way home it's not going to be by a member of the WI - it will be someone with the uniform we know and love and that's why people who wear the usual caps/trackies etc run the risk of being labelled. I don't think they are labelled just because they are working class (plenty of working class people choose to not wear those clothes. And yes I know that wearing them doesn't automatically make you anything)

[georgia]

Well said Mr S.

[citizenED]

Spotted somewhere in East Dulwich, Ratty, Badger and Ant

citizen

[SeanMacGabhann]

Nice one citizen

Isn't there a Muttley dog around as well

[Ted Max]

And the very rare batdog?

[Muttley]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

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> Isn't there a Muttley dog around as well

People often make that mistake. Having the name Muttley gave me no end of grief as a child. Why couldn't my parents have called me Peter? Or even Dick?

[elizlondon]

galvin Wrote:

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Yes, women have children, yes these

> children while young need to be transported in a

> buggy (less bulky than old prams). It is never

> fathers that are sniped at for having children,

> anyone want to have a go at explaining why not?!

>

Just to point out, nowhere in his initial post does jackangel specify women, just a particular breed of parent.

[jackangel]

OK, so we're all agreed, then. Bromide in the water system it is.