Top tips for those having a baby

[Fuschia]

Anyone got any ideas to share?

My tips include:

Keep them in baby grows as much as possible, saves work.

Buy white/pale colours as easier to wash than brights.

Buy vanish to get tid of bright yellow newborn poo!!

Get yourself a flask for whe you don't get a chance to make yourself a cuppa! Get your partner, if you have one, to fill it in the morning for you!

[Sidney]

Trust your own instincts and do what is best for you and your baby!

[Fuschia]

Oh I don't know, my instinct is to have a LARGE glass of wine every day at 4pm!!! (Somehow I manage to delay)

[womanofdulwich]

why wait till 4pm? lovely sunny day - pimms o'clock I would say.

[citizenED]

Flask for hot drinks: four years down the line and still haven't learnt. Doh!

Put "me time" on hold until 2030. That's the year, not the hour.

[lorraineliyanage]

Don't buy socks - keep them in tights or leggings (might only work for winter babies)

[The Nappy Lady]

Drawstring nightgowns for newborns - especially whilst still doing nappy changes in the night - saves all the hassle of poppers, just release the bow, pull nightgown up, change them and then pull back down again. Wish I had known about them first time around. Baby C was an October baby so I always had socks on her to keep her toes warm inside the gown, they worked really well (got mine off Ebay quite cheaply, but I believe John Lewis sell them if you'd prefer new).

Babygrows - with Fuscia - use for at least the first 3 or 4 months, MUCH more practical than outfits in the early days, and more comfortable for baby I'm sure.

Breastfeeding necklaces for scratchy, hair pulling babies - again wish I'd known about them first time around, they really help to keep babies attention where it should be when feeding.

Cuddledry towels for bath time - saves trying to hold a towel under your chin whilst getting baby out of bath and onto your shoulder....they are FAB!

Baby sleeping bags. Oh and when they are older, if they start to 'escape' from them, but them on back to front, so they can't undo the zip!

Co-sleeping - OK, not for everyone, but saved my life this time around when I needed to be functional in the day for my 5 year old and didn't have time to sleep except at night, can't believe I used to get up and down and actually go to a different room to feed DD no.1, how did I have the energy?

Socks - Baby Gap were the only ones I found that stay on, but only the traditional ones with the long rib to you fold down twice, some of their recent designs not so good. Those little leather baby shoes do keep socks on though if all else fails (also great once they are in bouncy chairs or baby walkers etc. as with socks you see how dirty they are e.g. how dirty your floors are! With the leather shoes you don't (less guilt)!!

Molly

[Moos]

- Buy a really good sturdy sling (not a Baby Bjorn) that you'll be able to carry the baby in for several months. It's the only way to do any jobs around the house when you have a small baby*.

*not that jobs around the house can't wait, but sometimes all you want to do is just get on with hanging up the washing or something, and it's frustrating when bubs won't let you put him/her down.

[The Nappy Lady]

Yes Moos, that's a good point.

Also, you've reminded me - when they are crying for a feed, don't be afraid to take the time to ensure you have all you need within reach, whether it be water, cake (v. important!) oh sorry I mean a healthy snack ;-), the TV Remote, a book, the phone etc....oh and plenty of cushions, then sit yourself down and let them latch on. Nothing worse in the early days than being stuck in a chair, with the thing you want just out of arms reach and no one to help you!

Molly

[Helenlouise29]

Don't over buy before your baby comes along. I bought the entire John Lewis baby section and enough clothes in 0-3 to clothe a nursery of 70 because I was worried I wouldn't have everything or enough. I used about a quarter of what I bought. She lived in babygros for the first 3 months. Wait till they come along and just buy the basics. Shop as you need.

Also baby shoes for newborns only every look good in the cupboard and on shop shelves. They are not practical and you will not have time to even contemplate using them.

You can buy really good quality nearly new stuff on sites like this and netmums. I spent a fortune on everything new and wished Id known you could get high quality second hand.

[Moos]

Fill a bag with all the stuff you need for a baby for a whole day. For me that would be a change of babygro, a cardie, a hat, sunscreen, nappies, wipes, that instant handwash stuff, a muslin, a rattly toy, teething granules, and perhaps some boiled cooled water. But then I'm a crazy control freak, other mothers may have been quite capable of coping with less!

Then get out of the house and don't go back till you feel like it. Let routine sort itself out another day (if it's important to you). Get on a bus -top tip - my baby slept immediately on buses and that gave me a precious few minutes' reading time! Go for a walk, meet friends, go shopping, find a mother-and-baby group. Feeling stuck in the house is awful, and feeling your freedom to go where you want when you want is lovely.

[little h]

a tip to go with the flask of tea - my husband would also make me a sandwich to keep in the fridge.

oh and don't leave writing your birth plan/ buying any last minute things/ reading the labour section of your baby book till three weeks before your due date...

H

[Superstarpen]

Use a wrap (Motherease etc) over disposables to prevent leaks... until you convert to cloth nappies!!

I'm with you Molly on co-sleeping. Helps to master breastfeeding lying down first (which took a little practice).

A stretchy wrap (like the Hugabub).

Masses of handcream, Bachs Rescue Remedy (before bed and during night when you wake to feed baby), glass of water and a blue night light (IKEA Chidren's section) at side of bed.

Disposable breast pads

Bowl, natural sponge and water for cleaning baby's bum! Less hassle than wipes.

[Belle]

I'd say above all else, not to feel those instincts everyone tells you about should kick in straight away. You won't necessarily know what to do straight away and that's fine, you muddle through! I found it hard at the start especially as I thought I should automatically know what to do with my baby, but it just doesn't work that way for everyone (am sure it does for some people though). I do agree that getting out of the house is invaluable but again, I found that I pressured myself to do this too much/too far afield at first and it can be exhausting. Doing it in manageable ways (eg start off by walking the pram round the shops) is what worked for me.

Also for those who bottle feed, I think it's virtually impossible at the start to follow the official advice of making up feeds as/when you need them. I've always made mine up in advance - there's no way my baby would wait once he decided he was hungry. I might be shot down for that since there are supposed risks in preparing feeds in advance it but it's something that made a big difference for us in the early days.

[The Nappy Lady]

I'm with you Belle, especially 2nd time around I've really enjoyed being at home with baby and found her day time sleeps SO much better if she was in her cot. For the first month or two I just loved being at home with her, snuggled in, feeding and enjoying being a Mum, and really had little desire to go out and about. Once the need to get out kicked in I have tried hard to plan morning or afternoon activities that work around nap times (though not always as I believe in some flexibility, Gina Ford is NOT my guru!).

Once your baby gets to around 4 or 5 months I think they nearly all play you up a lot more if you try to stay home with them - bored with toys and surroundings, where as if you get out and about they seem to be completely different. My little one was really aggy this afternoon, then my friend turned up with her 10 month old and the pair of them had a lovely time crawling around chasing each other and having 'babble' conversations. Amazing what the presence of another baby can do.

Molly

[littleEDfamily]

Accept all offers of practical help.

[Fuschia]

I stayed indoors mostly in my pjs for a month when the twins were born... was lovely.. you can slob around for a few weeks and eat and watch Tv.. and then later on you can get out and about.. I think with baby no 1 you don't realsie how wucikly things change... enjoy that babymoon..

and yes re little leather shoes, and gap socks being the only ones that stay on.. little leather shoes cost just ?9 if you buy via ebay.. not ?20 like ED shops!!

For breastfeeding - get some free syringes from the chemist in case they don't latch well... better than offering a bottle and getting nipple confusion.. just express a little and offer via syringe if they're getting sleepy/yellow/not feeding in the first days. For milk fever/starts of mastitis - take nurofen, a scalding hot shower, and feed feed feed or express!! hand express in the shower if it's really bad.

[The Nappy Lady]

If you have a lump in one specific part of the breast that doesn't seem to be shifting, try lying baby on the bed and position yourself over them so their chin is pointing towards the lump - whichever way their chin points is where the milk is drawn from most efficiently, so sometimes just positioning yourself in this way can make all the difference - it feels a bit strange, but it is worth it if it takes away the lumpy, tender, sore spot!

...and remember it all gets easier with every day that passes!

Molly

[Moos]

Be kind to yourself.

This is my absolute toppest tip. Most of the 1st-time new mums I hung out with were as unwise as I was: constantly fretting, lots of self-blame and self-doubt, often convinced that decisions we were making now would impact our babies' lives forever, not eating properly, trying to do too much, trying to be perfect and hold it all together.

Eat well. Don't skip meals. Rest as much as you can, even if in snatches. Remember that you are as worthy of love and care and protection as your baby. Do what makes you happy and feel secure. Let people help you, let yourself be vulnerable and in need of help. Actually, make people help you - sometimes even willing helpers need guidance!

[Moos]

Oh - and there you go, everyone is different. There's me saying 'get out of the house' because my experience was that I hated being in alone all day. And then other mothers say 'chillout and stay in with the baby'. So basically, do what works for you, which may not be what worked for your best friend/your mother/your NCT teacher.

[crystal7]

Buy some newborn clothes you don't have to put over baby's head e.g. baby grows, wrap vests

A sling is essential for getting any housework done in the early days

Be prepared for baby's sleeping habits to constantly change (my little one slept better at 4 weeks than she does at 4 months!)

Don't be too scared to go baby groups alone- everyone's always nice and you've got babies to talk about!

[Pickle]

Great advice from everyone.

Don't be too proud to ask for help, while having a new baby is the best thing in the world it can also be a very hard, lonely and stressful time. If you think something is wrong, go with your instinct - use the breastfeeding cafes, new Mum groups etc. to get help when you need it. Explain to your partner that it's pretty likely you will phone him regularly at work with a screaming baby in the background demanding that he come home... NOW.

If you're planning to breastfeed, prepare yourself for the fact that it will probably be hard, and not the soft focussed wonderful experience that's shown in the video at the breastfeeding workshop. But rest in the knowledge that it gets easier.

Buy pies/tarts/lasagne/meatballs from Bon3yard on the forum - an absolute godsend for me in the early weeks after I'd had my 2nd baby and was in no fit state to cook :)

Enjoy it. Having had the luxury of newborn cuddles today at my daughter's 1st birthday party I'm reminded of just how quickly the early days pass, despite the difficulties you might face they are absolutely precious moments.

[The Nappy Lady]

OK, now some of this may cause controversy, but in recent weeks I have heard about stuff that some first time parents are doing, that I think is not necessary, and to be honest is just making work and worry for themselves. Partly this is based on my experience as a 2nd time around Mum, you can't wrap a baby in cotton wool so much when you have an older child hugging/sneezing/trying to feed the baby etc. but I do think some advice that some new parents is being given is just leading to too much worrying.

So in my opinion (but not to say you can't do it this way if you want to) :),

You don't need to wash your baby's clothes separately to your own clothes, do them all together if it makes up a full load.

You don't need a separate chopping board / knife etc for chopping your baby's food up when you start weaning.

You don't need to dry all the baby's washed up bowls etc. with separate pieces of kitchen roll, though of course if using a tea towel I would recommend you try to change it daily, or use a fresh one for all the baby's stuff maybe (most of my stuff ends up air drying to be honest, or drying in the dishwasher).

You don't need to wash baby's clothes in non bio powder: Biological powders contain enzymes. I'm going to go right to basics so please don't think I'm being patronising, you might know what I'm on about but you might not.

Enzymes are special proteins which speed up reactions, especially in digestion for breaking down large insoluble food molecules into small soluble ones. So they use enzymes in washing powders to break down food based stains.

Some people say that these may irritate babies' skin but research has shown that biological powders don't cause allergies/aggravations of the skin (I had a link to an article about it, when research came out, but it no longer works, will try to find one that does).

In fact, non-biological detergents may contain more chemicals, bleach etc to compensate for NOT having enzymes.

They actually don't have non-bio in any other countries in Europe as far as I know, and no higher incidence of eczema/skin sensitivity in children.

So, better to use small amounts (about half the recommended dose) of the detergent that best suits you. The research came out when my eldest was just crawling, and generally getting filthy, so I switched to bio at that point (I had childhood eczema and am quite sensitive), and we've all been fine, been using ever since, even with new baby, but generally only wash with about a tablespoon of detergent.

Of course, if non bio suits you carry on, but don't feel you HAVE to use it, it's just marketing, marketing, marketing......

Molly

[sb]

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[sanity girl]

pure vitamin E oil for sore or cracked nipples - you can buy it from the chemist/health food shops and you don't need to wash it off before breastfeeding. Worked a treat for me, and you can also use it as a lip balm/gloss!

re. bright yellow explosive poos on babygrows - I just rinsed off in cold water, gave it a bit of a rub with some soap (any old bar of soap will do) and then chucked in a washing up bowl with water with other babygrows until I had enough dirty washing to do a load. I found that drying in the sun would bleach out any remainder of poo stain (I was living in Naples at the time though so perhaps the sun there has superior bleaching powers!)