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Right, in my family there is a great tradition of the son to give up his most comfortable chair for a visiting parents, in this case my dad. Yesterday me and Ms Wolf took advantage of the sunshine and arranged a BBQ in the comunal garden of our building and I invited my brothers who thought it would be a great laugh to invite my parents as well. I get on with my parents very well but my father is a strict disciplinarian who demands respect at any given moment and always tells me off when I tell rude jokes. Well after the event everything was going smoothly and on request I gave up my seat to my dad. What I didn't expect though was that he'd get very pissed on my expensive scotch and spill his foul cigar ash all over the chair. He fell asleep on it aswell. I woke my dad up after I fired an elastic band at his nose as he's a very deep sleeper and started to tell him off for ruining my chair. Bad move! I and my brothers had quite a few as well so I was feeling brave so kept on at him but he was too quick for me. He lept out of his/my seat and pinned me against the wall and menacingly said "I'm your father and I'll do whatever I f.....g please when I'm in this heap and you're not so old that I wont still give your arse a bloody good tanning, BOY!". My brothers were the only ones present and could barely stop themselves from laughing.


Call me old fashioned but the old git was well out of order!

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Hmmmmmmmm..........I've read and re-read you remarks Dr Proctor and I'm going to give you the benefit of the doubt.


Is he a violent man?


Essentially yes, he's a trained killing machine who fought with the Marines in the Falklands and witnessed the full horrors of the south Atlantic including including being shot in the chest and he still has a bit of Argie shrapnel in his leg which I've no doubt will have psychologically damaged him . He's caned me 4 times for being very very bad and thumped me in the stomach when I lied to him over getting arrested when I was a teenager as he saw the handcuff marks on my wrist, gave me one last chance to fess up, I didn't, whack.


He has never ever raised his hand to my mother. He's always been there for me when I've needed him the most and until I've put him in the ground I hope he always will be as I will be for him when the time comes. He's never been afraid to tell me, my brothers and my mum that he loves us. He has always provided for us when we were younger and has never really been a heavy drinker. He was always very calm with us even though a lot of the time we drove him up the wall.


Is he unpleasant?


Of course he's bloody well not he's my dad!


Anything else?

BBW, it's very clear from your posts that you love and in many ways are in awe of your father. It sounds as though he has a very definite view of what his place is in the family, and what his rights are - and that you too either consciously or unconsciously are reinforcing that view. Dad treats your home as his own? You react exactly as you might expect a child to - by being cheeky and flicking a rubber band at him. The adult part of you is furious that he treats you as a child, but the child part of you invites him to. Sounds as though he could still beat you in a fight, and if that's your criterion for who gets to be top dog in your home, then I suggest you let him have the chair. But if you really want to be the adult, you need to stand up to him on your own terms.


And maybe buy an ashtray.

My dear thoughtful Moos


You're correct in saying that in some ways I'm in awe of my father as I remember being little and sitting on his back whilst he did press ups and I've seen the ugly scars on his chest and stomach that remind me that once somebody tried to kill him but he pulled through against the odds.

I've also seen him at his lowest. When he lost his mother he descended into depths that one day I'll be forced to deal with and after the meet ups where he and the men he served with remember the ones that didn't come back and listening to him come home, lock our parents bedroom door and quietly break down in tears.

I've also seen him watch Nottingham forest loose in the 91 F.A cup semi finals, the coffee table didn't survive that day.


I've stood up to him before. Either by locking him out in the rain forcing him to spend the night in the shed or simply pushing him out of the way. He only got the drop on my the night in question because he'd slept off the drink whereby I was still hammered. I have no problem with him having the chair but I have a problem knocking the ash tray and making out it's no big deal.


I have plenty of ash trays.

bigbadwolf Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------


> Call me old fashioned but the old git was well out

> of order!


I know exactly what you mean, my dad just kicked me off his facebook page & bloody moaned about me to my ex, who is on his fb page. The bloody nerve of the man!!

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