Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Heres something I thought was funny although not a chatup line.


You find a top heavy woman at the pub, and you say "I bet you a quid I can make your boobs wobble without touching them", when they agree give them a quick fondle and handover the quid, great innit. It's even worth getting a slap for.

A mate of mine used to fancy a girl at work but she never spoke as she walked past his desk every day. Until, that is, the day she passed and he made a noise of a whip being cracked. No words, just that noise. Amazingly, it did the trick - they started a very intense, passionate relationship.

HellNoHellYeah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I think men often underestimate how effective a

> simple "hi" can be. "Clever" chatup lines just

> reek of trying too hard.


I agree, I have found that simply asking if I can buy a drink or something equally bland is usually the best policy.


It worked for me with the wife.

I'm not convinced chat-up lines of this type actually exist in real life other than in 'my mate says' pub-talk. Excluding nightclubs with carpets and possibly anywhere north of Watford, naturally.


Even I've got a few 'my mate says' anecdotes, but I guarantee they never have. They were too busy perspiring with fear and breathing on their hands to check their breath in the bogs to risk making a tit of themselves by laying some cheesy old line on someone who'd laugh in their face.

charliecharlie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> the one's that have worked on me are pretty

> simple

> "you've got a lovely smile"

> "hey, can I help you with that"

> "my name's ....., what's yours?"

> "Hello"

> etc...

> the cornier the chat up line the faster I run....


And what about "Hello, I'm a well-known designer", eh Charlies?

I just got chatted up by a group of young Dutch ladies while in the park on my lunch break.


The line (and I shit you not on this) was, ?Hello sir*. My friends and I are visiting from the Netherlands. We didn?t realise that there were any cute Englishmen.?


Anyway it was a nice little confidence boost. I feel well up myself now.


*I liked that bit.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Bit nerdy. But the traditional form of England/Wales local government was based on committees with themehmbers in proportion to the respective political parties numbers.  Blair government introduced for councils that chose it cabinet structure where the majority hold roles covering each of  former committee would decide/confirm. Additionally a Blair option for a super council leader Mayoral role such as Lewisham rather than ceremonial mayoral role who chairs council Council Assemblies of all councils. A number of councils have since moved from exec Mayoral role to cabinet basis.  Without Councillors being elected via a Proportional Voting system I personally would prefer to see a return to committee decision making structure. It ensures all Councillors have to know what they're doing rather than the ruling party leaving it to a few cabinet members and the rest just voting at Council Assemblies how they/re told. Just a personal view. 
    • With the elections coming up soon, it's interesting to note that residents over the boundary in Lewisham have a different system of local government than Southwark. Lewisham has a directly elected Executive Mayor while Southwark has kept a traditional local authority structure. Nothing is perfect, but I think Lewisham made a mistake with the Executive Mayor in that it blurs the legislative branch and executive branch of governance, and makes serious scrutiny of decisions less likely to happen - especially in a Borough like Lewisham which is essentially a one-party state. None of the political parties are offering any major reforms of local government for London, which is very disappointing since it seems obvious that having 33 local authorities - all with their own internal administrations - is not a good way to run things, when most of them are struggling even to maintain basic services.
    • My  understanding is that all developments whatever size, have to have an element of social housing…affordable housing… council housing..No longer sure of percentage but clearly less than years ago.. The point is house builders clearly make a profit or they simply would not  continue building what I refer to as modern  boxes!  Putting housing condensed or what originally was one house with land attached.  Huge development going on in Beckenham - 200 social housing and rest open market.. sited over several houses now demolished… up the road from the park on way into town centre.. might even be completed by now.. haven’t been that way in last year… certainly can’t miss it.. So, for example, let’s say a developer builds houses and flats on a site… social housing I assume would be in a separate block to other flats and I assume house as well. Ie to put it bluntly, away from main site.. Nothing wrong in that at all.  Many years ago, near Borough a developer built flats divided into blocks. . Price range £300/400,000. Social housing was in a different block…. Can’t remember how many… so families , couples etc got a brand new flat with modern kitchen and bathrooms, flooring etc  and could not even keep common parts clean.. trash thrown out and left including out of windows etc..total disregard for community and certainly not  grateful for brand new property and a home.. I hasten to add, not every flat in the social housing sector but certainly a fair few behaved that way.      
    • Please name all of the shops.  
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...