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Ted Max

By Ted Max
in The Lounge

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Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted

Has anyone been sent a strange type-written letter, ALL IN CAPS, through the post? Just received one this morning - many, many pages of gibberish, repeatedly calling for the reader to petition the Queen for a national Poll of Priorities, to finish all political parties and save this country from Tory/ Labour dictatorship.


It's quite a read. A small sample from pages and pages of the stuff:


FIRST AND FOREMOST DO YOU THINK THINGS WILL IMPROVE AS THINGS ARE, MY GOD I MUST BE A MIND READER, BUT PLEASE DON'T SHOUT SO LOUD NEXT TIME MY HEARING IS WELL IMPAIRED DUE TO THE BLITZ*.

NEXT QUESTION?

DO YOU THINK THERE WONT BE A REVOLUTION IN THE NEXT 18 MONTHS? ALSO DO YOU THINK WE WILL BE OUT OF THE THE ECESSION BY 2012, OR DO YOU THINK WE WILL STILL BE IN BOTH AND THE OLYMPIC GAMES WILL NOT TAKE PLACE,

READER I CAN SENSE YOUR REPLY AS I TYPE THIS FACTUAL THINGS UPON WHAT IS TO COME.

IT IS AKIN TO THE SMALLEST BIRD IN THE WORLD ATOP THE HIGHEST MOUNTAIN OF IGNIRANCE GULIBILITY AND HYPOCRISY PUSHING A SMALL PEBBLE THAT WILL RESULT IN AN AVALANCHE OF PROGRESS FOR THE BETTER OF THIS LAND.


* (this is my favourite bit)

HonaloochieB

HonaloochieB

Posted
Posted

But surely if the smallest bird in the world takes the pebble that starts the avalanche FROM the mountain of gullibility, ignorance and hypocrisy then the avalanche that will engulf us all will be one of G I and H.

And we don't need all that.

I'm only having this if the smallest bird in the world finds a mountain of goodness, wisdom and humanity, and starts the avalanche from there.

I have a picture in my mind of Tweety-Pie.

Though that could be because it's lunch time.

snorky

snorky

Posted
Posted

weve had these ramblings. yes, its the same shite that is pasted up at ED station & on the disused shop enxt to John Allan.


Offensive proto racist garbage


If you are reading this oh letter writer, then let me tell you that I have a big bumper book of Royalty that I got from the Mind shop. Lots and lots of pictures of our Royal family circa 1980. a fantastic read Im sure.


You know what I do with it ?


I rip the pictures of the queen out & use them to wipe my fetid arse every night. I will not stop until the theiving old goat has the decency to assasinate every single member of her family in a Windsor based postal rampage, then finish herself off once and for all

Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
  • Author
Posted
ASK ANY PERSON WHO HAS BEEN RESIDENT OF ENGLAND FOR OVER 70 YEARS, WHY DO YOU THINK THINK THINGS HAVE DETERIORATED BEFORE YOUR TIME, 95% WOULD REPLY, WE SEE THINGS TODAY THAT HAVE NEVER BEEN OF THIS COUNTRY. SO MANY PEOPLE OF ALL AGES, WEIGHTS AND SIZES JOGGING, THIS IS IN MANY CASES SIMPLY TO BE IN CONDITION TO RUN FROM TROUBLE.

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