Lost child - Madeleine McCann

[dulwichmum]

Could everybody please take a few minutes to pray for poor tiny Madeleine McCann and her family. God only knows the horror these people are experiencing right this minute.

[lilly123]

please light a candle for madeliene and her family http://www.dotsphinx.com/lightacandle/ (add a public candle)

[TillieTrotter]

Every parents worse nightmare. Just heard this morning that the parents were down in the disco having left the little one upstairs alone in the room. That will be making the parents feel so bad, poor buggers. Heart goes out to them

[TillieTrotter]

Wrong information. They were at nearby restaurant. Not that that makes any difference.

[dulwichmum]

Please God, just let it be someone who wanted a baby girl of their own, who have not upset her too much. Just let her come home.

[Keef]

The police out there aren't sounding very confident of a happy ending right now... Hope they're just being cautious.

[Nero]

I am so pleased the newspapers haven't given them a hard time for not employing a baby minder. I fear that if the couple were not middle-class, attractive, articulate and wealthy, and instead, scruffy, working-class, tatooed and poorly educated the Mail etc. would have acted very differently. It makes me think of the Ben Needham case, which was never solved. I feel terribly sorry for all involved. Nero

[Michael Palaeologus]

Sadly I believe that you are correct Nero.

Still, lets hope that DM is correct and that the kidnapper is sadly deluded rather than the alternative.

[Ant]

It's just too awful for words...

[ratty]

It makes me so angry I cannot talk!

Prayers are with her distraught family!

[citizenED]

This morning I caught part of an interview on radio 5 with another woman whose toddler went missing - 17 years ago. Have not found him yet. The interview was well balanced but gut-wrenching. They were obviously trying to empathise with the Madeleine case. The mum was an incredible lady - strong and resolute. As for the rest of us, there simply are not the words. I tried to turn the radio off it was so sad, but couldn't. It was too transfixing.

Prayers for the little girl. Prayer to her family

citizen

[spadetownboy]

thoughts go out to them but what the hell were the parents up to leaving the kids alone while they went out.the restaurant is reported to be 100yds from their appartment, i live less than 100yds from springers and i wouldnt even think of leaving the kids asleep and alone while i went for a bite with the missus. i appreciate its a different ball game whilst on holiday but surely in a foreign country its even more reason to be vigilant.the real tragedy of the whole affair is that the complex provides a free creche for kids to play and sleep in while the parents eat in peace and quiet and they chose not to use it.i can only pray they get a second chance.

[dulwichmum]

Dear Spadetownboy,

I am not getting at you at all. This situation is horrific.

The people or person who took this child clearly were just waiting for an opportunity, any opportunity. Please don't judge the parents - this really is a time to hope that baby gets to come home, not a time to judge people. Everyone makes mistakes, they must feel dreadful. All that matters is that Maddy gets to come home.

[spadetownboy]

im not judging anybody and i fear that at this stage a happy ending is increasingly unlikely, but i just find it hard to fathom how a parent could leave 3 young children alone while they go out for the night,and i fell i may not be alone on this one.

[Nero]

DM, Although we all feel for the family, it does seem odd that such a professional, head-screwed on couple should not have used the service. This does not detract from my sympathy for them, but, ultimately, they are not my friends or relatives, but unknown people in the news and I simply can't let my common sense be hijacked by empathy. I am not an ogre, and I don't think STB is either, just a rational and necessarily detached human being. Again, if they were on the dole and addicted to alcopops and Embassy No 1 holidaying in a concrete Costa resort and their kid was called Jakki I suspect at least some of us would have a different opinion. Nero

[dulwichmum]

Dear Nero,

I just wish they would find that little girl.

Do you remember Lesley Ann Downey? Wasn't she a little girl killed by the Moores Murderers (I know my spelling is the pits). Her mother was completely destroyed by the loss of that child and what was done to her. I will never forget seeing that mother interviewed on TV, she was forced to listen to those killers on tape taking pleasure in what they did. I feel sorry for the little girl and her siblings - the twins. The parents will tear eachother apart - you can count on it, do you think they don't blame themselves and eachother?

These children are entitled to a childhood. Maddie and her siblings.

This is a time to concentrate on praying for them, and trying to find her. God help them all.

I know how trite I must sound, but this is just the most tragic thing for a parent. Just let her come home. Apportion blame afterwards.

Become a parent Nero, everyone has a right to pass judgement on us.

[Nero]

How do you know I am not a parent? I am not passing judgement on you or anyonr, just applying whbat I think is acceptable and healthy detachment, which does not detract from my humanity. The fact that yhou feel under attack suggests you might have guilt feelings regarding your conduct towards your child/ren. I am not blaming, either, merely looking at the picture in the round. I am sure if they were my friends or relatives, I'd have different feelings. But I am not. Just because they are on the telly does not mean I know them, annd as such I feel duty bound to my conscience to explore all the facets to this admittedly tragic affair. FYI, I don't like being perceived as less of a human being because I have not sired and raised offspring. There are many people who are gay, straight, infertile, adult-centric who resent being seen as a proto-person becauuse they don't have children. Nero

[dulwichmum]

Nero darling,

Yes you are right I know. My mother in law never supervises the children properly when she takes them to the park. She sits in the coffee shop and says they will come back when they are hungry. This has caused me no end of anxiety, she points out that she has raised two boys and they are fine. My husband points out that I am talking as though I am considering not allowing my MIL to supervise our children at all (I most certainly am) and I am left once again feeling guilty for perhaps spoiling their childhoods, not allowing them to enjoy just being children. Tarnishing their early years with my fears.

I just think that being a parent leaves you wide open to the scrutiny of others, and hind sight is a wonderful thing.

I am neurotic I know. I need tamazepam...

[spadetownboy]

theres unfortunately a fine line between letting kids grow up and also about being neurotic about them and while i appreciate that events such as what is presently happening and the likes of soham etc are rare and unusual, i would rather be a neurotic parent than a grieving one, and i dare anyone to say different.

[dulwichmum]

Dear Spadetownboy,

I feel instinctively that you are right. It is a dreadful shame and horror that events like these happen. But they do happen, and we must all be constantly aware of that.

DM

[TillieTrotter]

I very much agree with STB et al, but those parents know what they have done and whilst I cannot imagine ever having such bad judgement (been parenting for nearly 18 years) I think that the guilt that they are going to have to live with (very pessimistic view i know) we dont need to jump up and down on them at the moment. The thing is if the little girl is found, pray God, then they will have hopefully learnt from their MISTAKE. If she isnt, how will they ever sleep again!.

[Polly D]

... and maybe the British media should stop being so negative about the actions of the Portuguese police. They're making them out to be incompentent 'foreigners' which is so unhelpful. Again, it's about trying to apportion blame. The only person/s to be blamed is/are the ones who have taken her.

I do so hope that there can be a happy ending to this and the family mustn't lose hope. As DM says, the guilt could tear them apart and then a whole family is broken. I hope they can stay strong.

[James]

Well said Polly - it reminds me of how whenever there's a child abuse case some hapless overworked social worker is dredged up and ripped to shreds as if she was the culprit. Here the whipping boy seems to be the Portuguese police in that mildly smug, xenophobic way. Maybe they just do things differently there? Not every country is governed by a rabid know-it-all tabloid press like ours.

I would never have left my son alone at that age but then there are no 'rules', are there? We mustn't lose sight of the fact that no child can be 100% safe 100% of the time unless we kept them in a bunker. Poor, poor family. I hope she's found ok.

[Miss_M]

Unfortunately no matter how well you guard your children, tragic incidents like this will continue to happen. I don't think leaving your kids alone at home is a very savvy thing to do given the times we live in but it isn't for anyone else to place blame. As has been said, I am sure they have blamed themselves enough. Does anyone else remember the little girl who was snatched from her bath while the family was in the house with her?

I just think that shows no matter how careful you are, these twisted individuals will take any opportunity.

[mockney piers]

I've not commented on this as frankly it's none of my business.

1 point regarding the Portugese police, it's actually against the law there for them to comment on any investigation at all, which would account for the paucity of information and the antagonism of the British press.

Deborah Orr (not normally a favourite of mine) seems on pretty reasonable ground here though if anyone's interested.

http://comment.independent.co.uk/columnists_m_z/deborah_orr/article2524418.ece