Moving out of London for secondary school?

[HannahSE23]

So if you did decide to move out for schools, a good life for teenagers and stuff going on that's not too far from London where would you go? Does the idyll exist?

[bawdy-nan]

isn't it East Dulwich?

[mrs.lotte]

Exactly what I was thinking Bawdy Nan!

Depends what your idyll is, if you want good schools, a good life For teenagers and stuff going on but can't afford London i would move to another city (Bristol, Liverpool, Newcastle??)where the burbs are a bit closer to the city centre.

edited to say - don't actually know what the schools are like in those cities but surprised if there are many places with such a concentration of high performing outstanding state secondary schools as we have

[Curmudgeon]

I wouldn't for a moment contemplate moving out of London for the school situation, we have excellent schools

If you're going to move you do because that's where you wish to live or for work reasons...but for schools I think that's a knee-jerk reaction to playground gossip

I have a 14 year old at Kingsdale

And an 11 year old heading to Sydenham Girls in September

I am delighted with their education, opportunities and social lives

[HannahSE23]

Just another question... do those with teenagers worry about teen stabbings, especially after that poor lad was killed in broad daylight in Sydenham recently? I have a feeling it's an unspoken fear amongst many of those who are leaving London as their kids approach secondary school age...

Thanks!

[bornagain]

In a word, no. I have girls (one late teen, the other early teen) so perhaps stabbings are not such as issue but I have never been worried about them getting attacked, raped, becoming involved in gangs etc etc. I have been worried on the other hand about them getting hit/run over by cars.

Fear breeds fear and if you are anxious about them getting stabbed then they will fear it too. This could lead to them either getting anxious themselves thus affecting their confidence or behave in an over-risky way just to wind you up (teens are like that).

I have taught mine to be sensible eg. let me know where they are, when they will be back, to call me when they need help, not to talk to strangers, not to go to places that feel unsafe, trust their instinct. But at the same time you need to trust them. I trust my children to be sensible about their safety and so far they have not let me down (touch wood!). These are all good life lessons which will stand them in good stead as they grow into adults.

[Curmudgeon]

hoonaloona Wrote:

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> Just another question... do those with teenagers

> worry about teen stabbings, especially after that

> poor lad was killed in broad daylight in Sydenham

> recently? I have a feeling it's an unspoken fear

> amongst many of those who are leaving London as

> their kids approach secondary school age...

> Thanks!

Ummm Dumblane massacre, hungerford, Cumbria shootings

Bad things happen everywhere

[sillywoman]

Nope. 3 teens and a preteen here. I am craving green space and some 'capital release' that we could have by moving out of London, but I can't do it to my kids. Having spent my teens on the edge of a big county town bored out of my skull and, like simonetheb, feeling that life would start once I was elsewhere (which in fact it did) I just wouldn't put my kids through that. I had the bike/pony/countryside thang and it was boring as hell. My kids lead a much more independent and full life than I did at their age because they can access everything they want/need here. I figure they're just as likely to get stabbed, mugged, into danger/trouble anywhere else in the country as they are here. They're not (to my knowledge) a part of any gang so the risks of any of the rot that someone was mentioning upthread (metal detectors???! someone's been watching too much telly or reading the SUN ...) is the same for them as any other kid anywhere else in the country and my main health concern for them is the long-term effect air pollution.

Each to their own of course, but if you are happy here it's silly to leave such a great place through misplaced, and unfounded fear. As long as you've raised 'em right (well, as right as you can - I appreciate there's no magic formula to that), and they've got a good friendship group of kids with similar values then the rest is down to good or bad luck, and that can happen anywhere.I love that my teens have the best of both worlds here - a feeling of community and that they are known, and know people, plus being a part of this magical, beautiful, dirty old city that is London. They are proud to be Londoners, they own it, and I delight that they have that it's very valuable.

[redjam]

I love that post, sillywoman! Quite agree.

[Otta]

sillywoman Wrote:

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> They are proud to be Londoners, they own it, and I

> delight that they have that it's very valuable.

That's how I feel. Despite it's faults, I am a proud Londoner, and I am proud that my kids are little Londoners (terrible dropping of T's and all).

[canela]

I still hanker for the green and more space ... hoping my kids aren't going to hate me for it one day!

[Ondine]

I was in Orkney last summer with my teens - idyllic place - we all loved it and. as good holidays do, it got me wondering what we're doing in London.

And then the schools went back while we were there and we ended up a few times on the local bus with all the teenagers going home from 2 different schools. My two are 15 and 17 so a long way through the good, bad and ugly of the SE London school system. The Orkney bus chat was like nothing I've ever heard - bored, fed up, drugs, alcohol, fights in school. Someone had OD'd after being accused of graffiti at the local youth club. Maybe less preoccupation with social media but it generally sounded a lot more stressful than anything I've come across. It was quite an eye opener and VERY useful perspective

Only metal detectors my 2 have ever reported are occasionally at Peckham Rye station and not for a while, I think

[Mathilda]

This discussion is interesting...we moved away last year to a small town and we're really enjoying the green space and being part of a smaller community. Neither of us grew up in London and while we loved our time there, we were ready for a change. We weren't worried about safety in London - that was never a factor in the decision to move.

Maybe just me but I'm skeptical that teenagers get that much out of the things to do that are specific to London, e.g. theatres, galleries. Surely most teenagers like hanging out at their mates' houses/at the park and stuff like cinema/bowling/swimming/topshop? Most places, unless you are moving to a rural isolated hamlet, will have those things within a reasonable distance. So it comes down to, can they get there on the bus (London) or do they have to walk/cycle/get lifts more (outside London).

In summary live where you want, the teenagers will probably be fine...the ones round here seem happy enough anyway.

[HannahSE23]

Just restarting this thread as I'm doing the secondary school visits and I'm feeling totally overwhelmed. It's too late for us to move away before our eldest starts secondary plus both of us work in London so really it's not that feasible, but I suppose I just wanted some reassurance from those who have been through this nightmare that it all turns out okay in the end... It seems there's no choice at all and you get what you're given. The schools seem enormous too! Maybe it's just me but my eldest still seems far too young to be starting big school. I suppose it's normal to panic, but can anyone offer any sane advice and/or reassurance? Thanks!

[bawdy-nan]

The year 7s look tiny and year 6's even smaller but by the end of the year, if not sooner, they'll be itching to move on from primary - even as it can seem daunting (for them and for you!)

When I looked round schools (my daughter is in yr 8) I felt the opposite to you hoonaloona - I felt that the local schools all seemed really good and, even if I did have a preference, any one of them would have been fine. They seemed proud of the school and the pupils and, with some justification: locally the results are good.

My experience has been very positive. My daughter was the only one from her primary to transfer to her secondary and she was very sad about that and nervous. The school couldn't have been kinder and more encouraging and she's settled well, making new friends and keeping in touch with old friends from primary. She quite quite quickly found her feet but the school were very supportive in the first few months especially around increased homework load etc.

One thing to note is that secondaries (most of them?) mitigate their vastness by dividing the children into school halves or thirds. All their classes will be in that half or third so that they are quite quickly able to get a sense of who is who and not feel too lost.

Good luck!

[HannahSE23]

bawdy-nan thank you. Lovely to hear about your positive experience and appreciate you taking the time to share it!

[pigglemarex]

Having spent some of my teens in the 'sticks' and some in London - I can safely say that London is an awesome place to grow up. Admittedly I went to secondary school in Croydon but I was so independent.

I could get public transport whenever I wanted. SO did not have to rely on lifts from parents or unrealiable bus service or infrequent trains.

I could navigate the tube network with ease from 12 - some of my uni friends still struggle / find it scary.

I was exposed to different cultures and backgrounds - It made me a much more open and accepting person I think. It was bit of a culture shock going to uni in another City. I had always considered that my parents had kept me quite sheltered and to some extent they did, but people who I met at uni had really not had the opportunities I had.

I love London! I still get a kick out of going home late at night on the 176 and going over Waterloo bridge admiring the view!

[savage]

The view from Waterloo bridge is my favourite of London. I'm also a Londoner & agree it is a fantastic place to grow up

[bodsier]

I agree that's London Is a great place to grow up AT THE MOMENT. My concern is what it will become as the government stops funding more charities, and museums and galleries having to charge, so less free cultural activities. Lack of affordable housing and more temporary contracts so less job security. Pubs and clubs are closing, and Laws banning gathering In public places have been introduced. The privatisation of public spaces, and more I feel will adversely affect the freedom that our kids and ourselves will experience. I doubt that London will be the thriving, economically and culturally diverse City that we know and love.

[Coach Beth]

This article points out why London schools are doing so well

http://www.citylab.com/politics/2015/09/londons-school-system-is-shockingly-good/405613/?utm_source=nl__link3_091615

[sophiesofa]

I grew up in the sticks and loved it. But... I had two sisters to hang around with, if I didn't I would have been very bored in my small village. My parents did ferry me about quite a bit, but it was great. My husband was born and bred in Peckham and went to an awful school so left with few qualifications, that was a long time ago though. I used to work in a Lewisham school and couldn't hack it (just keeping the kids in the room was an achievement) so am now a teacher in a Kent grammar school. That school was poorly managed and had other problems, I'm not saying London schools are bad. We sold our East Dulwich 1.5 bed basement flat and moved to a 3 bed house in Sevenoaks for around the same money. We could't afford a bigger property in/around East Dulwich, so for us it made sense to move further out. We're a short walk from the town centre and park and it's easy to get into London to see friends, get some culture etc.

You get both good and bad schools anywhere across the country. I really think there are pros and cons to both, so you should just do what you want. Be warned, the grammar systems turns parents crazy!

PS some schools have security entrance gates (students and staff swipe in) that have been mistaken for metal detectors before. I have heard (could be a rumour) that there are a few London schools with metal detectors.