malumbu Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 The Grauniad's readers' question last week was a along the line: My friend has invited us to his wedding but not our young kids, should I ask him to pay for child care.There should have been a one liner: It's their wedding, they can do what they like.But of course most responses were waffly with many of them being outraged.Mine,not publishes, was to ask whether the friend could take over the running of one of my many local pubs cum creches. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/ Share on other sites More sharing options...
Loz Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Ha - just found this. Best answer was: Your husband is a prat. Being invited is an honour, they want to include you in their big day, and if they have to mind how much they spend, you should understand that. You go, and leave Grumpy to look after the children - you'll enjoy it much more without him, anyway. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846174 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Ladysaw Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Children have no place at a grown up event. I.e. a wedding! Unless it's mummy and daddy walking down the aisle. The last thing I want to do as a wedding guest is trip over a child .... even if my 2 1/2 old was invited, I'd leave her home. That equates to a fun night for us :) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846274 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otta Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 What makes a wedding a "grown up event" as opposed to a "family event"?Personally I'm fine with kids til about 8pm by which time I want them gone so I won't accidently fall on one whilst pissed.But if someone says no kids at their wedding then that's up to them. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846284 Share on other sites More sharing options...
hpsaucey Posted May 10, 2015 Share Posted May 10, 2015 Agree - up to them to say if they 'want' kids or not. But is also up to you to accept or decline the invite on that basis. One of my friends got married in St Andrews. I was breastfeeding at the time but the wedding said no kids allowed. It would have meant a trip for all of us all the way up there for myself, partner and two kids to St Andrews, but they weren't allowed at the wedding. I declined and explained why. I don't think she really understood She might now as she has her own child now. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846320 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabag Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Weddings without kids are rather dull anywayI'd politely decline and send them gushing best wishes, then invite them out for dinner sometime after. I'd usually be more cynical, but weddings do weird things to people when planning them. Beware of Bride/Groomzilla syndrome As Otta said re the rest Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846349 Share on other sites More sharing options...
miga Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 . Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846350 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TillieTrotter Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 No discussion to be had, their wedding, your invite to accept or decline. I think the fellow in question is a dick to even think of asking for childcare money. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846388 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otta Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I've been to a lot of weddings as staff (playing in the band) and was amazed how many of them seemed really joyless. I mean I'm sure the bride and groom were happy, but honestly miga is right, it was like fun was off the menu.Equally I've been tonsome wild ones. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846390 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Mick Mac Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Seabag Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> Weddings without kids are rather dull anyway> Agreed - kids can make a wedding, and provide great memories. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846397 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Been to some great weddings with kids present, some without. You get rather a different "vibe"... more hard drinking when the kids are safely away with the grandparents. But the daytime bit is probably more relaxed and chaotic (in a good way) when kids are around. Fine with me either way.. the only problem is that there will inevitably be some people who won't be able to come as a result. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846414 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Help-Ma-Boab Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 When you marry a bit later in life though, and almost all your mates have kids, at something like 3 years of age they are considered a "full" head in terms of the costing from caterers. With not unlimited budget its either a few mates with their children as they have lots. This then means a lot of pals can't come as not affordable. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846439 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otta Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 No way I'd bother including kids in the meal, I'd have a kids table with lots of healthy snacks as well as piles of.chips and chicken nuggets with full sugar coke. That'll teach their parents when they're trying to get them to sleep. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846452 Share on other sites More sharing options...
maxxi Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Kids at weddings if they are related sure - It's a difficult one to dodge with family. You can hardly tell siblings or cousins not to bring their kids because, well, they're your family too. If they get lary there's always plenty of Aunts and Uncles and Grandparents to rein them in or threaten them.But unless you know friends' kids well and are Godparents or something, then of course not - if you're invited to dinner or a party you wouldn't take your kids would you? And - service and endless photos apart - that's all this is. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846466 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Tallulahdoesthehula Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 It's totally the decision of the bride and groom (it's their day), but they do need to accept that this decision will potentially effect who can come. My friend was quite upset recently as hardly any of her friends were able to go her wedding whereas all her husbands could. It was hardly surprising as they live where he grew up - all his friends are local and just needed a babysitter for the day, her friends are from far and wide including overseas and the child ban made it possible for most to attend. Not everyone has weekend Childcare they can use. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846483 Share on other sites More sharing options...
*Bob* Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Went to a wedding of a good friend a while back. The invite was carefully couched in 'we'd be delighted to have them but prefer it if we didn't' terms. As such, there were only half a dozen kids there. Still, the little bleeders screamed all through the ceremony / speeches nonetheless. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846489 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Otta Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> What makes a wedding a "grown up event" as opposed> to a "family event"?> > Gambling, strippers, cocaine..? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846567 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Otta Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 My question stands. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846584 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Louisa Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 If it was my wedding and a guest failed to accept my invite of only them and not their annoying brats, i'd be pretty f##%$? off if they brought them along regardless. I think I would even go as far as turning the family away from the event on the big day. It's my big day, don't like it? Get your own! Louisa. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846588 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabag Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Louisa Wrote:-------------------------------------------------------> If it was my wedding and a guest failed to accept> my invite of only them and not their annoying> brats, i'd be pretty f##%$? off if they brought> them along regardless. I think I would even go as> far as turning the family away from the event on> the big day. It's my big day, don't like it? Get> your own! > > Louisa.I rest my caseLouisa - Bridezilla Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846600 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Saffron Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 Shall I cancel the strippers then? Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846628 Share on other sites More sharing options...
TheCat Posted May 11, 2015 Share Posted May 11, 2015 I have children. We didn't have kids at our wedding. I love a wedding where kids aren't allowed. Better fun for all concerned. Mostly the parents Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846634 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Seabag Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 I'd conceede that babies in church are a challenge, i've heard a few screamersWhy do people insist on sitting it out, I always grabbed an outside seat and dashed when it happenedMind you, I had to pinch my one quite hard to get my exit ticket from the ceremonyBless him :)) Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846661 Share on other sites More sharing options...
Jeremy Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 Huh. Church weddings. Awkward and joyless. I can see why going outside with a crying baby is preferable to pretending to sing a load of old junk containing words like "thy" and "hast". Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846668 Share on other sites More sharing options...
mrsmrcham80 Posted May 12, 2015 Share Posted May 12, 2015 At my wedding there were children and I must say they brought a good atmosphere to the wedding besides not everyone can leave their children at home and especially when its family or close friends that have kids you would want them at your wedding at least I wanted my family and their kids to share that moment with me also they had all gone after 8pm then the adults had their own time. Link to comment https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/58452-no-children-at-wedding/#findComment-846671 Share on other sites More sharing options...
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