Tiny Little Things That Cause You Irrational Rage

[dulwichmum]

People who apply make-up on the bus, particularly mascara, it always makes me wince.

People who pluck their chin hair on the number 3 bus.

People who paint their toe nails on the bus (again yesterday morning - the number 3 OHMYGOD!).

People who clip their toe nails on the bus (last year, again on the number 3).

People who drink alcohol at 8 am on the bus.

People who talk loudly on their mobile phones on the bus.

People who listen to music on the bus that is not played on ear phones.

People who engage in evangelical preaching on the bus.

People who fight physically with eachother on the bus.

Generally, the number 3 bus causes me a great deal of anxiety on a daily basis. It travels through Lambeth you know...

[charliecharlie]

hhmmm, something tells me, Dulwichmum, that the bus is not your preferred form of transport.

DM is that you, standing on the pavement, looking so distainful?

daaarling... you really must do something about the size of your arse!

http://www.johnnyjet.com/image/PicForNewsletterLondonSept200743.JPG

[ThinLizzy]

OMG -- that looks like me -- my right leg goes a bit wonky like that when I'm trying to get something out of my bag --- where/when was this taken 2xcharlie?

BUT -- my butt aint that big tho innit

[HonaloochieB]

That grey haired bloke in the fourth window down, If he's not Mick Ralphs out of Mott The Hoople then I'm a Dutchman.

[HonaloochieB]

Oh, it'sh OK, just realished he ishn't. My mishtake.

Shtill me and my friend are off to HMV in Oxshford Shtreet to get the finest pop and danshe records.

And, who knowsh, we might meet a couple of prutty girlsh while we're there.

Latersh.

[dulwichmum]

charliecharlie! How very dare you. I'll have you know that I am stick thin and make Nigella Lawson look like Vicki Pollard in the upmarket and glossy stakes. I am incredibly stylish and only every wear white jeans... although I do look a bit as though I am sucking a lemon each morning on the number 3 bus. Apparently it is un-environmentally friendly to drive my Audi Q7 to the City of London each day.

Damn the environmentalists...

[HonaloochieB]

Five new pence pieces.

The most useless coinery at large.

Whose head is on one side?

Let's shove them all up the Queen's arse and have done with it.

[bigbadwolf]

Finding those small coins a bit too fiddly in your old age Hona? I bet you hold up the post office queue as well when you're searching for change.

[louisiana]

People who finish emails with the expression "Will revert."

Groups of pedestrians who hog the entire width of the pavement on a busy road for the purpose of having an extended social gathering (with or without prams).

Big 'kids' who drop their bikes across the doorways of shops.

People who parade around with certain breeds of dog they don't appear able to control. Or who use such dogs aggressively towards others.

The quantities of people who are constantly reading bizarre religious tracts on board buses, and muttering. I'd really like to ship out the religious nuts to some Religion Island in the North Sea, and stop them infesting our government, our laws, our institutions.... and our buses. :-S

[bigbadwolf]

Good god Louisiana I think I'm falling in love with you!

[HonaloochieB]

louisiana Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> People who finish emails with the expression "Will

> revert."

>

> Groups of pedestrians who hog the entire width of

> the pavement on a busy road for the purpose of

> having an extended social gathering (with or

> without prams).

>

> Big 'kids' who drop their bikes across the

> doorways of shops.

>

> People who parade around with certain breeds of

> dog they don't appear able to control. Or who use

> such dogs aggressively towards others.

>

> The quantities of people who are constantly

> reading bizarre religious tracts on board buses,

> and muttering. I'd really like to ship out the

> religious nuts to some Religion Island in the

> North Sea, and stop them infesting our government,

> our laws, our institutions.... and our buses. :-S

Lou, it's tiny little things on here, your things range from smallish to medium to huge.

I'm going to take it upon myself to send you off. Go on, away with you.

The rest of you, move on, nothing to see here.

And before anyone starts, being officious is not a tiny thing.

[bigbadwolf]

Quite right Hona but as I was saying I only parked there for two minutes to pop into the chemist to pick up Louisa's Valium. Let us off will ya.

[HonaloochieB]

Peckhamgatecrasher Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> People who use 'can' when they mean 'may'.

Yeah PGC, that Suzie Quatro with her 'Can The Can' nonsense. Got right up my hooter so it did.

Mind, she redeemed herself with 'Devil Gate Drive' I thought.

"Come on boys, one more time for Suzie", certainly made me think, 'I will if I may'.

And of course if I can (could).

[Sue]

HonaloochieB Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>> Yeah PGC, that Suzie Quatro with her 'Can The Can'

> nonsense. Got right up my hooter so it did.

xxxxxxxxxx

Hey lay off, HB, Can the Can was great :))

:)-D

[HonaloochieB]

Sue Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> HonaloochieB Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> >> Yeah PGC, that Suzie Quatro with her 'Can The

> Can'

> > nonsense. Got right up my hooter so it did.

>

> xxxxxxxxxx

>

> Hey lay off, HB, Can the Can was great :))

>

> :)-D

Agreed Sue, and it wouldn't have been improved by being called 'May The May'

And '48 Crash'? If that ain't in your top 1000, then you ain't in mine.

Not you necessarily, Sue, just as a general point of pop principle.

XXX

Edited for mysterious 70s pop reasons. Let's just say Marc Bolan would understand.

[KalamityKel]

People that you love to bits continuously dripping their pint on your foot/knee/bag/elbow whilst insisting it's the wonky floor!

[Strawbs]

Fake people (and I dont mean plastic), people who pretend to be your friend but when it comes down to it arent really, people who send you messages regarding things that have nothing to do with them

People with luggage who do the commute and seem to be unaware of how their suitcase impacts people around them

people who get to the ticket barriers and havent bothered to get their ticket out then holding everyone up - this one really irritates me

drivers who do not stop at pedestrian crossing and almost run you over

people who are late..

people in carriages on trains that require every single morning to be told to move down so other people can get on the train and then they either filthy look you or looked so f*cking shocked when there is masses of space behind them and they are actually being asked to consider other people!!

People who on trains sit only by the ailse which in principle is absolutely fine but if I say excuse me and ask to sit in the free seat next to you atleast GET UP so I can get in rather than moving your legs all of 5cms which makes me have to push past you and generally not have anything to hang on whilst I am doing it and become a little wobbly and then have the nerve to huff about it..

Music being played aloud on any kind of public transport

People who seem intent on boarding a train or bus whilst a stream of people are tyring to get off it!!

[bigbadwolf]

The things Srawbs has pointed out are the reasons this country is going to hell in a fcuking handcart! Bloody Poms eh Strawbs.

[louisiana]

> Lou, it's tiny little things on here, your things

> range from smallish to medium to huge.

Ah, HB, but which are the tiny? And which the huge?

In my books the religious tracts stuff is quite serious... as it demonstrates a feebleness of mind that I cannot tolerate. Pack them all off, I say!

[HonaloochieB]

louisiana Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> > Lou, it's tiny little things on here, your

> things

> > range from smallish to medium to huge.

>

> Ah, HB, but which are the tiny? And which the

> huge?

>

> In my books the religious tracts stuff is quite

> serious... as it demonstrates a feebleness of mind

> that I cannot tolerate. Pack them all off, I say!

Red card, Lou. Red card. And I don't even know much about football.

[MrBen]

Iceberg lettuce.

[Pickle]

When driving, people who swerve onto the wrong side of the road to avoid speed humps, and expect you to stop for them (which I do, otherwise they'd hit me!). Happened so many times this morning driving up past North Dulwich station it was unbelievable (6)

[Sandperson]

People with those little wheelie suitcases who, when they get off a train or bus or reach the top or bottom of a flight of stairs, stop right there and then to extend the poxy handles so they can wheel them off not thinking that there's a stream of people behind them just about to trip over their stupid fiddly suitcase and possibly get crushed by other commuters. What's wrong with carrying it a few more bloomin steps!

That and people who say 6 (or any other time) AM IN THE MORNING! If it's AM it IS the morning, I don't need to be told twice! This has even crept into some BBC journalism...whatever next?

[sophiesofa]

Ooh what a great thread

People who get on the train/tube before anyone can get off

People who walk slowly and swerve around so you can't get past

People who stand at pedestrian crossings without pressing the button

Queue jumpers - why is their time more precious than mine

People on phones who expect you to get out the way when they walk in zigzags

yuppies

people in fast cars who block crossing by zooming into them just to be stuck in the permaent traffic jam

bendy buses going through amber lights and blocking crossing

rats

Most people who have a car in zone 1

liars

FYI emails

stale doughnuts - you treat yourself to one and get all exzcited then eat it anyway because you've paid even though it's disgusting

i'll stop now before i don't :))

[sophiesofa]

Sorry just one more!

Lack of public toilets

make that 2

Wee on the seat!