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I once 'borrowed' a shopping trolley after a night out with friends, one of which had a leg in plaster


We were proceeding down the road with said friend in trolley when a blue flashing light caught our attention as a police car pulled up besides us.


Of course the usual daft question came out from the police officer "And what exactly have you got there at this time of night lads ?"

To Which I replied "An oven ready turkey officer"


Stupid stupid stupid mistake to make...


Needless to say details were taken, stern ticking off received and we were made to take the trolley back.


Funny thing is as soon as the police drove off, the trolley ended up in someones front garden and we all pegged it as best we could (well except for one of us that is but we did flag down a taxi for him)

Xena: Worried prince Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I once 'borrowed' a shopping trolley after a night

> out with friends, one of which had a leg in

> plaster



That?s funny because we once ?borrowed? a shopping trolley and the next day one of my friends had his leg in plaster.

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> snorky Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > You truly would not beloeive what I have

> knowingly

> > done that falls on the wrong side of the law

> >

> > I am , of course, fairly straight nowand have

> been

> > for a long time

>

> Well thats a different er, slant, on it Snorky.

>

> Must say you sound like a Rebel, tell us some of

> your exploits..:)



if I was caught and was given avergage sentences for what I was involved in, then I would be looking at enought time in the big house to get that PHd completed and have enough time for a bit of post doctoral work as well.

A sombering thought



caveat


* No innocents were hurt

snorky Wrote:

if I was caught and was given avergage sentences for what I was involved in, then I would be looking at enought time in the big house to get that PHd completed and have enough time for a bit of post doctoral work as well.

A sombering thought

caveat

* No innocents were hurt


Ruddy Nora...'nuff said M8.

I once made sandwiches for my brother to take to work only because I thought my mum done to much for us (big family) and to help him realise its sometiimes best to do things for yourself, I took a little plastic holy ornament out my mums china cabinet and put it on his sandwich, how I wished I@d been there to see it, he didn't die or need hospital treatment, just a small choking then he brought it back up, my mum couldnt believe I would do such a thing to Francis of Assissi.

When I was younger I begged my dad for an airgun which he bluntly refused stateing 'you'll take someones eye out' etc...

I borrowed an air rifle from a friend at secondary school. On the weekend when my dad was playing golf and mum was out me and my little brothers put some tin cans at the bottom of the garden and proceeded to shoot at them with mixed success. We also wondered how powerful the weapon was and my brother said it wasn't that powerful but I disagreed and fired it at a neighbours window expecting it to bounce of as the house was about 100 metres away. The window shattered.

About a week later we had a knock at the door. They identified themselves as firearms officers and had a dog with them. My dad lets them in. They explain that a week earlier an old lady was sitting in the bath when all of a sudden she's under attack. They explained to us that the pellet had come through her window and lodged itself in the ceiling. They actually pieced the pane of glass back together again and placed it where it had been before it was shot out. They then put a piece of string where the pellet ended it's journey in the ceiling and connected it to the point of entry on the glass and followed it's path to our terrace. They asked if we knew anything about it which we flatly denied whilst we were privately shitting ourselves as they explained the consequences of lieing to the law. We said that we had absolutely no idea what had taken place but then my dad butts in and suggest they can have a look round our rooms and that they can take rover with them. They came dangerously close to finding it but thankfully didn't come across it but our dad still smiled smugly at our discomfort. After they left my dad found the gun in a matter of seconds while we waited for an inevitable caneing. he came downstairs and stared at us for a few seconds and then burst out laughing. After he calmed down he told us not to mention the whole episode to our mum and to return the gun the following day.

I remember getting back pissed one night to college halls and finding in the fridge a neatly wrapped packet of sandwiches thatc someone had prepared for the next day. I opened them, took a bite out of each one, then wrapped them back up again and put them back.


It still makes me laugh.

I'm a bit tasty, if you know what I mean. What I'm saying is, I'm a bit handy. I mean, I don't go looking for it, but if it's on, then let's have it. I'm useful. Ask Terry.


Let me explain, if you're looking for a slap, son, then I'm not shy. You want some? I'm your man. You ain't getting in my face because I'm putting you down before you get to my space.


What I'm trying to say is - I hit first, and I ain't asking no questions later either.


I'm not here to lie to you, my fists do the talking and what they're saying is, "Have some."


That's all I've got to say on the matter. Now piss off.

Giving me some lip, Jaybee? You wanna watch that mouth of yours, understand? I'm not saying I'm nasty, but I'm not nice, either. I'm not about to let someone eat my lunch, iff you catch my drift.


Listen, what I'm about is none of your business. I'm here to tell you to get your trousers on, make the tea and piss off.

I would egg bus conductors on routemasters when they were standing in their little hidi hole when they flew round the corner on central hill at crystal palace and guys going down the steps of the public loos, another was to buy stink bombs and let them off in the shop you bought them from, your cutting of your supply chain but it was well worth it just to see the shopkeepers face and hear them plead please dont.

Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Listen, Tony, you sound like a bit of a soft lad

> to me so I'll let that one go, but don't tell me

> what I had for me own breakfast. Now, here's a

> fiver for the pictures - do your mum a favour and

> piss off.


Max



It is sure as you are Maxie,

Were I the Moor, I would not be Maxie

In following you, I follow but myself;

Heaven is my judge, not I for love and duty,

But seeming so, for my peculiar end:

For when my outward action doth demonstrate

The native act and figure of my heart

In compliment extern, 'tis not long after

But I will wear my heart upon my sleeve

For daws to peck at: I am not what I am.


I am Sir,

Your Obedient Servant.


In order words I'll Piss Off....

Bellenden Belle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I threw a teddy bear on stage at a Bros

> concert....it just felt so right at the time.

> Oh and I once grabbed Bono and told him I loved

> him.....

>

> Clearly my teenage years were very troubled.



Lol- thats the funniest thing i've read in a long time- almost sprayed my hot choc all over my new laptop..


This is the only story, I'm allowed to tell- I knocked on a pub toilet door, & pretended to be security, while my buddies were inside the cubicle doing coke, they cr*pped their pants & flushed a few grams down the loo- they were not very happy when they opened the door n saw me...I actually think i did a good thing there...

Bellenden Belle Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I threw a teddy bear on stage at a Bros

> concert....it just felt so right at the time.

> Oh and I once grabbed Bono and told him I loved

> him.....

>

> Clearly my teenage years were very troubled.


Back to makebonohistory then.


I'm enjoying the "ooh I shouldn't have done that when I'd had a beer" of this thread,


I've had sex with someone (as I suspect many of us have) when i shouldn't have. That's mine. With all the feelings that sit behind it.

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