Online dating: what do we think?

[Nichiyobi]

Answers on a postcard please, is online dating the new social medium for meeting cool, hip Londoners or a one way train to sads-ville, next stop desperate town?

Lots of my friends consider it relatively normal, maybe it's my small town mentality that makes me struggle somewhat with the concept, seems a bit like airing your dirty laundry.

Interested in your thoughts, and any personal experiences if I may be so bold.

S'all about the love

[buggie]

I did internet dating over 4 yrs ago and I get married in less than 2 wks so I'd say it's a good thing :))

[charliecharlie]

seriously Buggie...????

Hhhhmmmm.....

I don't think so!!!

http://www.ritzcarlton.com/NR/rdonlyres/D4A00236-05B9-4B20-9DE5-388F87F662AB/0/weddings_02.jpg

[Applespider]

I think it's relatively normal these days but I'm not sure how successful it really is. I know a couple of people who have ended up in long-term relationships but it an be hit and miss although I did meet one of my boyfriends after failing to find the bar in which I supposed to be meeting one of my online dates. I know more couples who met in parks than met online.

It's a great way of getting to meet a lot of people who, in theory, are interested in meeting other people too. But it does engender a 'plenty more fish in the sea' attitude so you can end up with serial daters and the feeling that if the first date wasn't perfect, then there's no point in giving the person a second chance even to get in touch. Even if you do hit it off on your date, then you have all these issues about whether the person is still online looking or whether they stop looking for other dates - and since their activities are usually visible, it can get messy.

Lastly, in dating, there has to be some spark of attraction to the person - and the spark, or lack thereof, isn't always evident until the first meeting.

[buggie]

charliecharlie Wrote:

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> seriously Buggie...????

> Hhhhmmmm.....

> I don't think so!!!

> http://www.ritzcarlton.com/NR/rdonlyres/D4A00236-0

> 5B9-4B20-9DE5-388F87F662AB/0/weddings_02.jpg

...eh?! Yes seriously!

[Nichiyobi]

Congrats Buggy, good news stories are always welcome!

Most of the people I've spoken to about it seem to consider it totally normal, maybe I'm missing out. I think it depends on why/how you use it - I'll admit to checking out the competition and the majority of women use the word marriage within the first few sentences (some men do too, so I'm not going to stereotype). Being new to London I thought it would be a good way to meet likeminded people, and am not pinning any hopes of my soul mate being somewhere in cyberspace. Applespider, I think you make a very valid point about the spark, a friend told me a nightmare story about a guy her flatmate had been chatting to online for a few months and thought he was amazing. When they finally met he wasn't at all what she'd been expecting and she cried for days! The dangers of photoshop!

[annaj]

seriously Buggie...????

Hhhhmmmm.....

I don't think so!!!

Why so incredulous charlie?

I'm looking forward to watching buggie and the future Mr buggie get hitched in a couple of weeks and I don't see why the fact that they met internet dating should provoke quite so many question marks.

Nichiyobi, I don't think there's anything wrong with internet dating. What's so strange about getting to know someone by exchanging a few e-mails before you meet up or using a website aimed at people with similar interests to you to narrow the field? I know a few people who've done it and they've had mixed experience for very sucessful to pretty rubbish, but that's the same as any kind of dating surely?

I was lucky enough to meet the love of my life at work, so I've never done it, but I have made some really good friends through this site and I don't really see what the difference is.

Good luck!

[dulwichdreadlocks]

I've been on dates with approximately three men from dating sites in the past. All three of them masqueraded as normal men but belonged in psychiatric wards and would have been admitted had a psychiatrist come across them.

[Sue]

I think it's a great idea but you have to be picky what sites you use, LoveandFriends and Guardian Soulmates are good.

But though I met some lovely men (and some not) I met my OH at a party :))

[dulwichdreadlocks]

The Time Out is full of real weirdos.

[charliecharlie]

What??? seriously, seriously, Buggie???? 2 weeks!!!

buggie Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> charliecharlie Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > seriously Buggie...????

> > Hhhhmmmm.....

> > I don't think so!!!

> >

> http://www.ritzcarlton.com/NR/rdonlyres/D4A00236-0

>

> > 5B9-4B20-9DE5-388F87F662AB/0/weddings_02.jpg

>

> ...eh?! Yes seriously!

[charliecharlie]

oh oh oh silly me, I had not got my glasses on and I thought you said "GOT married in 2 weeks" (not "GET married in two weeks"!!!) I was thinking wow... 2 weeks after meeting, that was really quick... now that must of been TRUE LOVE

:)):))

not surprised you found someone Buggie... you are fab person... he's lucky!!!

xxCC

[Annasfield]

I read it as "got" married in 2 weeks too.

[Keef]

I know lots of women who've had varying success with it. I don't know any blokes who've tried it. I actually considered it once when I was single, but just didn't quite have the bottle. Lots of pervs on there, so just pick carefully and look at it as fun rather than route to true love, and you never know...

[Keef]

Oh, and I'm playing guitar at Buggie's reception, I hope it's really happening, as it's a long way to go otherwise! ;-)

[Marmora Man]

The online option is just exploring another community - just like a party, a sports club, book club, pub, lonely hearts column or the top deck of a bus. I met my wife through friends of friends - but met previous girlfriends in all sorts of places - including a skiing holiday, a car crash (minor - no-one hurt) and a Danish Museum. Never online as I married before Tim Berners Lee invented the WWW.

The EDF is a community that meets in virtual space and ED pubs. It's been around for three years (?). Maybe there are some romances out there between EDF'ers??

[SeanMacGabhann]

I'm aware of a number....

[daizie]

I have met many men through dating sites...maybe around 50, i am a good advert for hope over experience! ( well, what is a single woman of 40 supposed to do with her time). In my experience, men lie about their height and us women lie about our weight. Photos are usually old and/or taken in a good light. Single women friends have said the same thing , so im not alone, however, a very amusing hobby.. hehehehe!!

[charliecharlie]

ooohhhh ... do tell SMc!!

http://www.greetings.ca/Romance.jpg

[charliecharlie]

Oh dear, I have just posted a pic of the ED lothario and exposed the poor man....

(or are we not mentioning that period from the forum any more??)

[SeanMacGabhann]

Oh I think it's only fair to let them come forward themselves, don't you?

BTW do you have some auto-insert-graphic into every post thing going on CC?

[charliecharlie]

no auto-insert here... just can't help adding pics, think it's become my forum signature...

others have wit and eloquance... me... well???

as I like colour, visuals, imagery, photos, illustrations, art, comics..

oh dear, stop now CC and get to work, you bad girl you!!

bye folks.. see you anon

xxcc

[Keef]

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

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> BTW do you have some auto-insert-graphic into

every post thing going on CC?

Ha ha, I'd been trying to stop myself from asking that for days! Fair play CC :)

[SteveT]

Never done it myself as I am very old but it obviously works for some, and from what I read on this forum I can understand why.

I feel attracted to some posters merely by the content of their posts and replies.

I guess it is the fear of the nutter which stays most peoples hands at giving it a try, that and the difficulty of

ridding yourself of an 'unsuitable' type.

Having been married and divorced I have no real incentive to risk the same ordeal through the divorce courts if it all

goes wrong, although I would be happy with a lover possibly.

Or if that fails, just the odd shag 'd do!

[Xena Worried prince]

Who needs online dating when we appear to have a good singles movement going in the wanted thread. ??