Forum decorum

[SeanMacGabhann]

And that, in a nutshell, is the worry.

Great post tho Anna

[KalamityKel]

I dont think its as bad as all that Annaj. Times do change, new names appear with different words to share (albeit perhaps not in the most pleasant way presented), different thoughts and opinions appear. It happens everywhere.

Now I apologise in advance for sounding confusing - the structured thought process doesn't work too well at this time in the morning...

I remember when I first started to join in on the forum (after a good while lurking) I found it difficult to fit in as it seemed (to me) that I wasn't of the same grouping - on the same level of intelligence, as quick witted as everyone else and not able to convert my strong thoughts in to words that were understood by others. Whilst generally there was a warm welcoming by the established regular posters there were times when I felt I was still an outsider. I know many of the older regulars here will be thinking what the hell I'm on about but this is the experience I have.

As time has gone by and I've made myself quite comfortable joining in as an when online and offline I have noticed the issue still there. Others have accused the forum of being too "cliquey" - whilst I do not necessarily agree with such a statement I can see how that impression may be made to new names and regular lurkers. Again, it happens everywhere. Groups form - the popular, brainy, beautiful, geeky, the silly/norty types etcs. People choose to settle with others they can most relate to.

Doesn't bother me who comes along invading and shaking things up a little. If one really loves/needs/wants the forum hiding away and letting those you find have changed the flavour of the place take over is not the best option.

If one wants the serious topics of conversation to return... bring it on! :)

*edited to ensure particular words weren't misconstrued

[indiepanda]

Good post KalamityKel

I have to say compared to one other forum I post on this one is generally less cliquey and more serious, so I probably don't find some of the recent threads quite as out of line as some people here. I think most forums have their own character and a bit of lurking to work out what the general tone is before joining in full pelt often feels like a wise investment, just like trying to join a group of established friends when you join a new job. I am always a bit cautious at first.

I would say even in my short time posting (since last summer) I have noticed a bit of a change in the threads, and I have felt a bit less inspired to post of late, I do like a good serious debate.

If I am honest my main motivation in posting was to meet people to hang out with in person rather than spend many hours on line - I spend too many hours in front of a computer at work, and even if the EDF wasn't a monitored site at work I am usually rushed off my feet so couldn't find the time to post during the day.

The forum certainly offers plenty of opportunites to meet people, and if I haven't met people often enough to get to the stage of hanging out outside of official forum events, it's basically my fault - well, I could blame the job and it's partly true, but it's also my poor ability to refuse work which is only increased by not wanting to be the one that says "no" during a recession!

[annaj]

Ok, yes, it's a very valid point that if I feel the forum has changed then it's up to me to stay and fight my corner instead of retreating, but I just don't feel motivated or inspired to. And I'm not saying I've been bullied or driven out and I'm not complaining about the change in tone, it's just not any longer as much to my taste.

When I look at the front page threads, nothing catches my attention and I don't feel like I want to engage with the people posting. It may well be to do with what Indepanda said about using the forum to meet local people out in the real world. The friends that I have made through the forum I know I would keep even without it, so I suppose that adds to my lack of motivation to fight. Perhaps my forum time has just come to a natural end now that I have got what I needed from it.

Kel, I appreciate that change happens in life and is often a good thing, I probably would have lost interest much sooner if this were a forum where no change happened and there were no new influences or ideas. But I don't think it's entirely fair to say "it's not as bad as all that" because for me it is. What I posted was my perception and is true for me. It may not be for you, but that doesn't mean it's not for me.

[Mikecg]

I have never been on a forum where people pick holes in other people whether it's a spelling mistake or a grammatical error, intimidation and patronization is rife, spoof posters are a part of the history of this place so in my experience things like that can set the tone. The abuse the defender of Nigel received was very intimidating for the poster. I am a now kind of person so if I think something is utter garbage then I'll point it out, Things will calm down when the people that are a bit noisy get used to and learn the way the EDF works.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

"The prose, grammar and punctuation were a dead giveaway, TLS, because the article in question that you plagiarised (and made no attempt to acknowledge the fact you did so - saying nothing implies it's yours) possessed all three of those characteristics of the English language.

Your posts, for the most part, merely contain prose"

I thought it apt, at this juncture, to reproduce my favourite putdown that I have received on here, as above, issued to me by one of EDF's illuminati.

Adam Weishaupt would have been proud of that withering, dismissive, sneering commentary, from one of his Disciples, directed to one of the lower order on EDF:))

The perfect balance of elitism combined with a refined touch of belittlement to give it that extra special flavour.

Truly sublime. I, for one, am certainly not worthy to be here, sometimes....:)...and delivered with perfect prose, grammar and punctuation too(!)...."keep away from people who try to belittle your contributions. Small people do that, but the really great, make you believe, that you too, can become great." Mark Twain, almost..:)

I know my place here....:))

[Ted Max]

Heartfelt, Anna and the rest, but it's not that bad. There are four posters that currently form a magic quadrant of spavining tedium, committing every half-formed banality to screen, but they're not that hard to avoid/ ignore. And if there aren't any interesting threads then start some.

I think the fact is many of the older posters, some with many thousands of posts under their belt, have run out of things to add as there's only so many topics to discuss. They've taken their positions and defended them many times, made their friends, and moved on. No need to blame anyone for that.

One man's "great days of the Quiet Room" is another man's "offputting, insular carousel of role playing whimsy", after all.

EDITED to add that I'm well aware I will have bored the very nipples off many posters here as well with my own role-playing whimsy. Which adds to my point.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Wot I wanna no is our dis tls geezer, who bye his very own admissssion came from der roughtest, toughtest working-class estate in europe nos 'bout "illuminati" and "adam weishaupt" whoever he bleedin' is when his at home and quotes Mark Twain too....that should be fer the peeps who invaded East Dulwich from the shires an all points east/west/norf and sarf and changed the character of the area....HANG ON A MINUTE....:)-D...actually I feel quite lyrical...that should read "Hang On A Minuet"....

[annaj]

Beautifully put, as always, Ted, but I feel I'm being misunderstood.

I've already said that I realise I could fight back and I'm choosing not to and I don't think I've blamed anyone.

Change has happened, because change does, and the change doesn't suit me. I could fight the change or I could accept the change and drift away. At the moment I'm leaning towards the latter. I'm not blaming or complaining or raving nostalgically about the good old days, I'm just saying.

[indiepanda]

Ted Max Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> One man's "great days of the Quiet Room" is

> another man's "offputting, insular carousel of

> role playing whimsy", after all.

>

> EDITED to add that I'm well aware I will have

> bored the very nipples off many posters here as

> well with my own role-playing whimsy. Which adds

> to my point.

Now the quiet room I have to admit I never quite understood the point of, certainly never posted on that thread. But I have to say your role-playing posts have really made me chuckle.

[annaj]

Ted, I've just seen your edit and have to say.... Oh No! I loved your role playing.

The quiet room I think started funny, or at least quietly witty, then became weird, surreal and finally dull.

Edited for carelessness, as usual.

[Bellenden Belle]

Is it me or is it the forum? *sigh* I just don't know. Perhaps I have rose tinted spectacles on but I do remember being far more engaged with the forum last year. But like AnnaJ I wonder if the forum has simply served an incredibly valuable purpose in my life and my own needs have now changed. I was new to the area, my life was going through a transitional phase and I wanted new friends in my life. So perhaps I made more effort to get to know people, to suss people out, to engage. And I did meet new people and found a sense of belonging in East Dulwich. But now those people sit alongside my old friends and I just see them as part of my messy complicated wonderful life and no longer as forumites. And occasionally a new poster comes along who displays wit and intelligence and whose posts I like but there is not the same sense of "oooh, I would like to chat with them at forum drinks"... I wonder if I have simply reached saturation point at this moment in time.

[*Bob*]

I'm decamping to the West Dulwich Forum.

Who's with me?

[RosieH]

You're probably right BB - and it doubtless serves me right that I've never really got round to getting involved with real life forum activities and now everyone's getting p*ssed off and drifting off. Note to self for future: carpe diem

Anyway, I suspect that this thread is becoming just as interminable and tedious as some of the ones people (including myself) have complained of. I would just suggest that when posting, that forumites give some thought to their fellow posters - cliquiness, whether old-school and self-congratulatory, or arriviste and brash, can be off-putting and quickly kill a thread, as the original point gets lost in a whirl of "you're so marvellous" "no you are"s or "you're a w@nker" "no you are"s.

I used to be more fun than this. When did I start being so fecking worthy? Sheesh.

Edited for reasons of turning into a tedious @rse.

[????]

I am *bob*...if we go there quickly we can start a clique

[lozzyloz]

This is beginning to sound like The Beach.

[Mikecg]

annaj why do you feel the need to explain your edit, have you been ridiculed in the past for editing?.

[Bellenden Belle]

RosieH Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You're probably right BB - and it doubtless serves

> me right that I've never really got round to

> getting involved with real life forum activities

> and now everyone's getting p*ssed off and drifting

> off. Note to self for future: carpe diem

Actually I meant quite the opposite - that there are fantastic people (and certainly I would include your lovely self) that are new to the forum and will make friends in exactly the same way others of us have. A new generation as it were.

The new posters I don't believe are any better or worse than those who have been around longer - and I am sure just as much fun will be had.

ps. I do still want to talk to new people really.... I'm just hibernating at the moment!

[Tony.London Suburbs]

???? Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> I am *bob*...if we go there quickly we can start a

> clique

Do you wanna join my gang Quids? (it can be your gang if you want, I'm easy either way)..

[Mark]

Mikecg Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> annaj why do you feel the need to explain your

> edit, have you been ridiculed in the past for

> editing?.

Please Mike don't stir things up

[Xena Worried prince]

Dear Mr Paul Gadd

Come on come on come on come on come on come on come on (sing it boyo)

Ae you the Leader of the gang? or when you return to the edf will you sing "Hello, hello. it's good to be back, it's good to be back"

You are so GLAM !!!!

Tony.London Suburbs Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> ???? Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > I am *bob*...if we go there quickly we can start

> a

> > clique

>

> Do you wanna join my gang Quids? (it can be your

> gang if you want, I'm easy either way)..

[Mikecg]

Well I for one am glad to be a member of the lounge I mean the EDF, it's more entertaining than the acado and WR and endless somerfield threads. I don't like being serious all of the time and I was told EDF is the place to let off steam.

I don't agree with hijacking serious threads though.

[Mikecg]

Mark Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Mikecg Wrote:

> --------------------------------------------------

> -----

> > annaj why do you feel the need to explain your

> > edit, have you been ridiculed in the past for

> > editing?.

>

> Please Mike don't stir things up

.

I wasnt stiring Mark, I was just making a point. no worries though I am a noob. (You can interpret that as a typo if you wish)

[*Bob*]

We could do a cultural exchange with the WDF. Two at a time.

They could receive tips in sniping, self-importance and one-upmanship - as well as essential information about the queueing system at William Rose. And in return we could get some lawnmower repair tips.

[Mikecg]

You see *Bob* the things you describe are the things I love about this place, it's a playground on many levels, and lots of the longterm posters are as guilty as the newcomers.