Am I overreacting or is this unacceptable?!

[Skin_deep]

So my sons grandparents just logged onto NurseryCam to see what he was up to at Nursery and witness him behaving naughtily I must admit. It was snack time and finished before the other children so got up and went to the painting area, he was left there for 5 min ish and a member of staff came to get him, he then ran off with 2 paints in hands, they caught him and made him put them back. He was then led to the table to sit back down but threw himself on the floor, a member of staff then dragged him by both feet for about 3 metres, he was on his belly.

To be honest I don't really know what to do/ think. Advice please

[Earl Aelfheah]

It depends how it was done, the surface etc, etc. At face value, it doesn't sound good, but needs to be viewed in context. I would get as much info as possible from the grandparents and then, if you're still concerned, speak with the nursery.

Must admit, I'm surprised to learn of the existence of 'NurseryCam'.

[Skin_deep]

I spoke the nursery just now, its funny this has happened on a day that both Manager and Deputy Manager are on holiday. I rang his key worker and explained what grandparents saw, as there is no audio I don't want to go around accusing anyone until confirmed when playing back the CCTV.

Either way as it was explained to me in great detail by my mother already it sounds as though she was trying to make him move to the table. Regardless I feel that forceful means whether its hurting the child or not shouldn't be used in a Nursery setting. I wouldn't drag him at home to make him do something so Im verging towards unacceptable.

I could understand if she was playing with him but this probably (and I say probably as I didn't see) wasn't the case here considering what happened in the build up to the incident.

I am really struggling to call this, even if CCTV shows it, whats next?!

[Skin_deep]

Also, just in answer to surfaces etc.. he was dragged across the floor, half rubber tiles and half carpet tiles (office type one's)

[Pickle]

My feeling would be that in a "play" situation it's ok (my kids think it's hilarious to be pulled around by their feet), but most definitely not acceptable if trying to move your son somewhere he does to want to be. In that situation, he should have been picked up, not dragged.

I hope you get some answers.

[LondonMix]

I tend to agree with the other posters. For play, dragging would be fine. Even though I suspect he wasn?t harmed in anyway and there was no intention to harm, I?ve always felt that manhandling children when they are not doing what you want kind of sends the message it is okay to be physical with people when you are unhappy with what they are doing. The issue is really subtle for me as I don?t think there is any physical danger or threat, just poor behavioral norms.

[Skin_deep]

Yes, I completely agree, dragging/playing with the child is fine, its engaging in a fun way. However it seems to me (by what I have heard and with the build up to the dragging) that this was not a playful action. Its almost as you say sending a message that 'if someone does something I don't like then I can react physically'.

Your right, I don't think there is any danger here but its not normal conduct for a nursery surely? He just turned 3 in December, I don't think any child should be dealt with in that way, by parent or carer.

When I rang the nursery I explained that I had not see this myself so do not want a big deal made, I would however like the manager to look at the CCTV and determine herself whether or not she wants her staff acting like this.

Luckily he is leaving at the end of Feb to go to another nursery.

[Otta]

rahrahrah Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> It depends how it was done, the surface etc, etc.

> At face value, it doesn't sound good, but needs to

> be viewed in context. I would get as much info as

> possible from the grandparents and then, if you're

> still concerned, speak with the nursery.

>

> Must admit, I'm surprised to learn of the

> existence of 'NurseryCam'.

Agree with all this. Especially the bit about NurseryCam. Who knew.

[Skin_deep]

Yes nursery cam does exist! I can view him via website on Web Cam, some nurseries do this but not many.

Anyway I spoke with the nursery and the manager will be informed tomorrow so they can take a look at what happened, will also be good for me to do so as well!

Interesting point made by another mum.. If I had gone in the nursery and dragged him in a none playful way then they would have been the first to inform social services!

[Otta]

Perhaps it would be an idea when you go to view the footage, to try to video the screen with your phone. Just in case they're not forthcoming about sharing the evidence...

That said, I hope you see it and it puts your mind at rest.

[Chunksmum]

If this was my son I would be fuming and he would be taken out. My toddler goes to pre school he is 2 and if they dragged him by his feet play or not I wouldn't be happy. I don't believe any nursery would do that in play, it's one thing to do at home to your own child but you don't expect a teacher to do that in play. What you describe wasn't a play situation, they were trying to get him to stop what he was doing and move to the table. They should be able to get him to do this without force! Regardless of the flooring it's unacceptable. I think the nursery cam is a great idea.

[anapau]

Totally unacceptable! Manager must investigate. I work in nurseries and could not imagine a staff member in the environment dragging a child across the floor like that, regardless of floor surface/context. Dragging a child on his/her belly is never necessary or OK, it's literally manhandling!

[Skin_deep]

He is actually leaving on the 26th February anyway for various other reasons so not long now. Managers back today so let's see what she thinks, I don't really want to involve Ofsted as the Manager herself was very good to me. Il try and get to the bottom of this in house. Will update the thread later as to what she said!

[hpsaucey]

Unacceptable. Manager needs to take it seriously. What about other parents there even after your child leaves? Could be happening to other children too.

[Mrs TP]

It is outrageous and totally unacceptable. The manager may have been good to you but someone was not very good to your son and needs calling to task. I'd be logging on every min possible to see if repeat behaviour to anyone's child. Ignore social pleasantries of creating a fuss and follow it up - easier said than done I know, but all part of parental responsibility.

[Skin_deep]

I seeked advice from my sister who works as a Social worker and she said to let the manager look because if any untoward did go on (I'm 99.9 now that it did) then the manager has an obligation to call Ousted herself and report that member of staff.

[Otta]

Ten quid says that whatever the outcome, they won't be offering Nursery Cam anymore in the near future.

Ofsted being Ofsted will probably end up closing the place down.

[midivydale]

I would be livid. The problem is that as you were not there you can never be sure of the context. Of course they can say it was "funny" but how can you be sure.

You would have to trust them and take their word for it and I would have serious trust issues after such an incident.

wishing you the best of luck!

[Skin_deep]

Just to update everyone.

I have now seen the footage! It was as my mother describe down to a tee. He was definitely dragged towards the table. Didn't look good at all. The nursery manager rang me as soon as she heard and said she was physically shaking at the thought of it. As soon as I got there to pick him up she took me to the office to view, she did say (and I agree) that it wasn't to cause him harm at all and was not done in malice. She also pointed out that the member of staff that done it to him was usually very tolerant however I did point out that Ofsted will not care about temperament of the employees when seeing this!

The fact of the matter is a child was dragged across the room. I have told her I do not want this person to lose their job over this but she said there are procedures that need to be followed and head office would have to be informed. I have asked her not to involve third parties if she believes this can be dealt with 'in house' and trust that the employee will be dealt with accordingly.

Thank god for nursery cam!

[Jellybeanz]

Sounds pretty shocking, incredible to think they did that whilst knowing they were being filmed too.

Wish I had had NurseryCam with my last childcarer!!!