Top 50 things that men should know (according to William Hill)

[Robert Poste's Child]

Apparently there is now a list of the top 50 things you should know before you can consider yourself a real man. Can anyone tick off all 50?

1. His wedding anniversary date

2. Basic DIY

3. How to change a light bulb

4. How to tie up a tie

5. How to read a map

6. His partner's favourite drink

7. How to iron a shirt

8. How to change a tyre

9. How to wet shave correctly

10. The right amount of aftershave to use

11. How to change a fuse

12. When a woman says "I'm fine" she is not fine

13. How to put up a shelf

14. How to polish his shoes

15. How to give a confident handshake

16. How many inches are in a foot

17. When to accept defeat and apologise

18. Know the offside rule

19. The year England won the World Cup

20. How to do his own laundry

21. How to fix a bike puncture

22. How to jumpstart a car

23. How to parallel park

24. The difference between ale and lager

25. The best way to carve meat

26. His own height

27. How to drive in snow

28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral

29. How to introduce himself

30. His parents' address

31. What the football scores were at the weekend

32. How to light a BBQ

33. When a woman says "Do what you want" do not do what you want

34. How to change oil

35. What the biggest recent football transfers are

36. How to build a fire

37. Which way is North

38. How to use the contents of the toolbox

39. How to tune in a telly

40. How many miles are left after the petrol light appears

41. How to fix a toilet

42. How to put someone in a recovery position

43. His personal alcohol limits

44. Change a battery on a car

45. How to get a car unstuck

46. The words to the national anthem

47. How to change a nappy

48. How to perform CPR

49. How to put up a tent

50. Who are favourites to win the Premier League

http://www.telegraph.co.uk/news/newstopics/howaboutthat/11408971/Are-you-a-real-man-The-top-50-things-every-chap-should-know.html

Not sure if there's one for women but I think I'd do better with the men's one.

[Parkdrive]

How to tune in a telly? Really? And what if you actually don't like football as some men don't?

[MrBen]

I find it quite scary how any people cant tell which way is North and aren't that bothered about it. It would trouble me not to be able to do this.

[Jeremy]

Could probably manage most of those, except the sports.

I have a feeling if there was one for women, it wouldn't be too popular

[Loz]

My shelves could probably be better, might struggle on nappy changing (never had to) and I don't give a flying f*** about football. But I have the rest pretty much covered.

His parents address? Really? Who doesn't know their parents address? (Obvious exceptions apply.)

I would add:

51) How to cook a decent dinner party meal for six people

52) How to tie a proper bow tie

[????]

Loz, it's not 1987 mate

[Loz]

Which one are you referring to, quids?

[????]

bow tie....dinner parties (but probably not the bloke cooking to be fair)

[miga]

.

[Loz]

You turn up to black tie dos with a fakie? Tsk.

53) Own your own DJ.

[Loz]

miga Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Serving food and wearing a bow tie - these sound

> like things every Chippendale should know.

Sadly, serving food and wearing a bow tie would be the point any similarities between me and a Chippendale start and finish.

[Robert Poste's Child]

From a woman's point of view (12)and (33) seem a bit patronising. If the list has to refer to relationships with women these would be better substituted with how to kiss and how to find the important bits (OK, bit) of a woman's anatomy.

[Jeremy]

Let me get this right, RPC... you find this list patronising to women?

[Robert Poste's Child]

I mentioned only two points, Jeremy... Both conform to a lazy stereotypical view of women.

If they did a list for women as well (unlikely William Hill would be that bold) you could potentially compare the two and make some deductions about respective roles. If the majority of the points were the same on both, perhaps not.

For a man I'm not sure whether it's the items on the list that are patronising or the idea of a prescriptive deterministic checklist without which you aren't deemed to be a man, but then you know how men like 'top 10' lists - I've often noticed that in the Lounge.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

I think I'm a man.

[Loz]

Probably easier to list the items that aren't patronising, RPC...

2. Basic DIY

8. How to change a tyre

13. How to put up a shelf

21. How to fix a bike puncture

22. How to jumpstart a car

27. How to drive in snow

28. What wires represent earth, live and neutral

34. How to change oil

36. How to build a fire

41. How to fix a toilet

42. How to put someone in a recovery position

44. Change a battery on a car

45. How to get a car unstuck

47. How to change a nappy

48. How to perform CPR

But I'd put all those on a list of things everyone should know.

[Otta]

I can't drive and have zero interest in cars. I'd best put in for the snip.

[Robert Poste's Child]

May depend on your standpoint, I guess. There may be men who would be irritated by a list with 6 separate items relating to cars.

[Loz]

Maybe, but I was separating out the all patronising ones, like "know your own height" (FFS!!) At least all these call on some skill and knowledge.

[Jeremy]

I know it's just supposed to be a bit of fun, but if I posted a list saying women should know how to bake a pie, clean an oven, hem a pair of trousers, drive the kids to school without crashing, etc then I would (probably quite rightly) get shouted down. If I was a religious man, I might quote "do to others as you would have them do to you."

[Robert Poste's Child]

I agree, Jeremy. Kind of the point I was making earlier.

To be fair to William Hill, if Nigel Farage or Jeremy Clarkson had put this list together I think it might have been a lot worse.

[MissMadMoo]

Failed all the footie questions :(

[miga]

.

[Horsebox]

Loz Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> You turn up to black tie dos with a fakie? Tsk.

>

> 53) Own your own DJ.

Pertaining to this, a valuable piece of advice which I received slightly too late:

'Buy a tailored tuxedo at 21 years old and make sure you stay that size for the rest of your life.' Unrealistic?

[Loz]

Mine was off the peg, but I've had it for the best part of 20 years. Only needed the trousers taken out once.

Think it's time for a new one.