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I noticed on other threads comments that some of the older regular posters have drifted off. As one of the early adopters who also stopped using the forum for some time (after being ranted at by another user who was roundly condemned for their opinions at the time) I wondered what other people thought about the levels of unfair or aggressive criticism on the forum.

Recently, an aggressive poster has been banned, but i wondered how many people just read the hostile posts and think 'I'm outta here...?'. I am glad to see local businesses are taking less off a bashing these days - but it seems to have got personal instead.


Thoughts?

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https://www.eastdulwichforum.co.uk/topic/5420-older-posters-drifting-away/
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I am very reluctant to post anything because of all the hostile and aggressive responses I see on other threads. It's a shame because I think people write things here that they would never dream of saying face to face to someone. It's a shame because the forum is a great place to find out what's going on.

As an older poster i would say:


Much of what is discussed now has been discussed in the past, probably 2 or 3 times. That is fine but for those who have been around for a while, there is nothing new to say.


There are so many new threads and posts that it is difficult to keep on top of things, I dip in and out of things which I think may be interesting, many threads I just dont read.


We seem to have some tossers who are posting dross and i cant be bothered with them.


I know quite a few people on and through the forum, so much of my communication with them is by phone, text, email, facebook or over a drink.

I was a way for at least a year, and now I'm back. People come and go.


The worst thing that can happen to a forum is that it dies (often because a lot of poeple leave owing to trolls that admin don't deal with). But soome do reach the end of their natural... That's not the case here.


At the mo', EDF is lively. There are incomers, and they talk. Things are liable to change; to not stay the same. So be it.


It's finding that right balance that is the issue. I may not have seen the personal posts you refer to, as I'm only dipping back after an absence.


Perception of unfairness may depend on perspective. On any forum it's generally up to each individual to stand up for themselves. People who are out-and-out agressive need - first - reminding; and then dealing with. I think that is fairly well taken of here (much more so than on other forums I belong to.) People who are attacked should - I think - be supported by others (either on-forum or by PM), just so that they don't feel they're alone. Does that happen enough here?

Flotsam and Jetsam.


It is a great shame if older Posters choose to leave.


Forums are fascinating places and can tell you something, over a period of time, about a persons character, inner strength, personality and intelligence.


Coming from a very solid Working-Class Southwark environment and visiting Greyhound and Football Stadia on thousands of occasions and always standing my ground (in what can be an extremely hostile setting) means that I, automatically assume there will be "Banter" and severe disagreement sometimes which need not be unpleasant, but which WILL be vociferous and challenging.


Its like breathing to me and any criticism, whilst initially taken on board, has been "water off a ducks back" for, at least, the last 30 years now.


It saddens me that some posters run away (for that is how it is often perceived) because someone firmly disagrees with them!


I can only assume that these posters do NOT have to deal everyday with the endless "blaggers"/

"lowlife" / "teefs" / "chancers" / "fraudsters" / "assh+++a" who are all around us in "most" of our everyday existences.


Its a sign of strength of character, imo, if one does stay and state their opinion firmly, and not drift away if the going gets tough, having said which, no-one should endure personal attacks or maliciousness or rudeness.

And why would you assume many of us don't deal with the parade of characters you describe Tony?


If you are dealing with that many lowlifes I would suggest moving, mate - sounds 'orrible where you are


Standing ones ground is all well and good but if it equates to sticking your finger in your ear and going "la la la la not listening" it's counter productive. Conversation should be a dialogue with people prepared to listen and adapt an argument accordingly. Otherwise it's just noise


I don't think people drift away because of disagreements. I've disagreed with people on here since before I joined. What is more prevalent lately is a degree of inanity I've not seen before.

Inanity is surely subjective? A forum will wax and wane depending on each person's point of view. As long as there are new people joining it'll continue.

My worry is that there seems to be an increasing number of posts deleted by the administrator. Of course once they've gone one can't know what was in them and whether they should have been removed or not. But if people feel they can't get their point across because it's being 'censored' then they'll go elsewhere.

To be honest the removed posts are ones that have been reported and complained about or the original poster has asked for it to be removed. Admin doesn't just remove posts because s/he doesn't like them or wants to censor them, they have to be reported. Unless s/he spots an obvious wrong 'un that is.

Sean - there is a lot of recent inanity agreed, but sometimes it's funny and indeed some of the posters who indulge in it do also occasionally contribute sensibly or like a fool in Shakepseare point out a profound truth...woof


It's the big pub thing again....I do hope the banter and inanity doesn't drive out the more considered though, that'd be sad and I accept that there is a risk


Tony, does standing your ground including lobbing bottles at me from the Tower Block outside the Old Den....(6)

SeanMacGabhann Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

>

> Standing ones ground is all well and good but if

> it equates to sticking your finger in your ear and

> going "la la la la not listening" it's counter

> productive. Conversation should be a dialogue with

> people prepared to listen and adapt an argument

> accordingly. Otherwise it's just noise

>

I'm sure I'm misinterpreting you. "should listen and adapt" where's the freedom in that eh?


As already covered (oh the irony) topics come and go and come again and again and get a little tiring for some. I don't think people disappear entirely. many choose to sit back and watch.


Those that do disappear I'm sure pop back once in a blue moon for a peek.


Sorry didn't mean to divert the topic... :s



yep, and misquoting too


I said "should be prepared to list and adapt" - not the same as "should adapt"


And not sure about the obsession with freedom. Do we need to bring out the hoary old cliche about free speech and shouting fire in a theatre? Too many of the later lately

4000+ a day what? I assume you mean users. I wasn't referring to that at all. Have a thought...


Possibly the select few whom have drifted away; or spoil the fun for others by creating an unfriendly atmosphere (either by picking on others, being offensive, even the untied clique moving together - as some people think -),domination by regulars, some who threaten to leave creating so much hassle that new people would question what kind of forum this is etc; select few who make the forum move forward; the select few who don't like the forum yet still join in, nose around...; the select few who have created friendships beyond the forum... the list goes on.


Expressing ones self through words/text/what have you is can often be taken the wrong way. I detect a defensive grumble from your good self Sean in response to me picking up on your own loosely put comments... lets play fair now (no really there's no need to prove me wrong) Again as expressed, ones interpretation can be very different from what one individual really means.

So you can consistently mis-interpret me, rephrase what I said, then claim that I am at fault but you are telling me not to bother "proving you wrong"?


I am not grumbling Kel, but nor am I beating around the bush like you appear to be. If you have a point spit it out

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