work/life balance

[midivydale]

Does any of you actually feel like you manage this? If you do,how?? Are there any universal secrets out there that I dont know about?

[sb]

.

[snowboarder]

It seems like very few of us have the answer! I nearly started a post this morning entitled 'who else is on their knees with tiredness by the time they actually get to work in the mornings...'?!?

It's the hardest thing. I had quite a good 'balance' when I worked 2 days in the office and the rest of the time with the children, but my earnings only just covered the nanny and my career was going nowhere. I've now upped to 3.5/4 days and it's a struggle, everything is slipping BUT at least I have friday mornings to catch up when my youngest is at preschool and I don't work. Working full time would be very full on and I honestly don't know how people do it.

But yes, there are coping strategies as really well outlined above....

[etta166]

There's not much point in repeating all that sb said, but I couldn't agree more. Excpet that I do bake (but only because I love baking)

Great childcare is essential, and having a supportive partner is also really important. At the moment I'm also lucky enough to have my sister living with us, and an extra adult around makes a HUGE difference. I imagine an au pair could be similar?

I think you also have to accept that with young children and a job and a house to run etc. that things are always going to be over-busy. I'm slowly comming to terms with trying to be "just good enough" with everything, rather than striving for the impossible, and I'm trying to do more fun stuff with my kids even if that means that other things slip more than I'd ideally like.

[EmilyPie]

We definitely haven't cracked it. We do lots of the things above but it is still a struggle, not helped by very little sleep. We're about to start a more structured approach to weekends where hubby and I each have one whole day off a month and we also each have a whole day with just one of the boys. Am hoping this will make the weekends feel more manageable and less like a total free for all where everyone is tired and breaks are won by successfully sneaking off to the toilet! Don't know if it will help but will report back.

[oimissus]

DH and I both have employers who are very reasonable and flexible - I have gone from 3 full days to one full day and 3 short, so I can pick DD up 4 days a week from school - but that's termtime only, in the hols it'll be back to 3 days. My boss is fine with this which is great. DH and I can both work from home in needs be. Neither of us have to work stupid hours on a regular basis. Before she started school she was at a great nursery.

Childcare is 50/50 between me and DH.

The one thing that would make it better would be to be closer to family.

We just have the one, though, which makes a huge difference I think.

[SuzieK]

Hi guys,

My company is recruiting at the moment and it's really suitable for people, parents in particular, that would like to manage that work:life balance and would like flexibility with work.

If any of you would like more info then please let me know and I'll send you some.

Suzie xx

[northdulmum]

At the risk of sounding like something out of 'the four yorkshireman' ....

Right... I'm a FT working mum with two young boys, one has started school. I'm the main bread winner (which tbh doesn't make any difference to us).

I get up at 545/6am as that's when my youngest wakes up. I do housework, wash and get them ready. Leave at 8am but I have a nanny which makes things much much easier. However it's brutally expensive so we are switching to nursery next year and I'm dreading that.

To add insult to injury, my partner travels a lot with work. He's currently away for 2x months. So I'm covering xmas presents and both their birthdays which all fall during this time.

Things that help:

My commute - is my break. I read trash and relax.

We have a home help to do laundry and linen changes plus cleaning.

Weekends are hardest. Being at work is so much easier than looking after kids (don't let anyone tell you otherwise).

I go to bed at 9pm every day. Kids go to bed at 8pm and I have to log into work btw 8-9pm and on line shopping!!

I get clothes sorted for me and kids the night before.

We eat out occasionally (real treat) at a child friendly restaurant at the w/e.

Things that suffer

Sometimes at the w/e I just put a film on. It's a gorgeous sunny day and my kids are sitting there, totally gormless and I have massive guilt.

I don't look great. My wardrobe consists of stuff from years ago, when I was a completely different size and shape... I never have time to shop.

It's intense but I don't have it too hard and i am actually happy. I love my job and I see a fair amount of my kids each day. However I take all this back when sickness hits us... nothing worse.

Also, there are plenty of single mums out there, in badly paid FT jobs who have no cleaner etc. So I feel v v fortunate.

Edits as I keep remembering tips. I sometimes bring my two boys in the shower with me in the morning. That way I get a night off bathtime in the evening (which I can be a bit much sometimes).

All this is fine but it's very lonely!!