Problem with nursery waiting list

[Howl]

Putting feelers out to know what, if anything, I can do about this. I'm not going to name the nursery, as I think that would be pointless at this stage and just create bad feeling, but....

I put my son on the waiting list for a local nursery in May 2012. I paid the admin fee of 30 quid and, whilst saying that she couldn't guarantee a place for June 2013 when I went back to work, she said I should be optimistic. A year went by, no place. Fine. We put him into another nursery and was still set on moving him when a place came up. May 2014 - still no place -2 years later. I phoned and was told he was still on the list.

Because we are looking for alternatives at the moment, I phoned again this month. The manager seemed to have no organised system - couldn't find us on the list over the phone- and later I received a stock email saying that there were no places for his age put he would still be on the list.

To be honest, I think she's mismanaged the lists. My only other explanation is that she's taken against us in some way - can't see how, as I've only met her once on the tour, but it's been niggling at me that we had to put our occupations down and she might not have considered us worthy material.

I want a refund, essentially. I don't think that my son had been given a reasonable chance of getting in to the nursery and I don't think we've been given adequate explanation for why - 28 months later - he still has no prospect of a place. I don't think he will be offered a place either.

(On the phone, when I asked why it had taken so long, she asked if we were offered a place and turned it down - which we hadn't- so she obviously knows this isn't correct).

Just wanted to see if anyone else had a problem like this? Am I being unreasonable in my expectations?

[Convex]

I think a few nursery lists are mismanaged to be honest.

We didn't get offered a place at one despite being number 2 on the list.

[stress_head]

Yes, I have similar experience from a few nurseries in the area, I am not convinced of waiting lists I must say.

For one particular nursery which I was told was very popular we were offered a place on the opening day. My neghbour was furious when we told her as she had been on their waiting list for 8 months. In the end, we did not go with that nursery and lost our deposit but the place was not given to my neighbour but to someone else who attended the open day, as far as I know she is still waiting...

It might matter what days you are looking for as I know some nurseries give you priority if you want Fridays or Mondays (which are sometimes less busy) and also priority might be given to people who are looking for more days.

It is frustrating to say the least - I feel your pain.

[etta166]

I don't think that nurseries usually say what their criteria are for giving places and moving up waiting lists. Most parents seem to assume that it's just a matter of when you join the list, and that you necessarily move up, but I'm not convinced. As other prople have said, the nursery can prioritise people who want specific days, a certain number of hours, certain ages of children, how much the parents nag... etc. etc. It's a good idea to ask for their waiting list criteria and to check in regularly about your place if you are serious.

[Ellie78]

We're full time and I understand that places might come up for part timers more quickly (especially if you can be flexible with days) but the admin fee I paid to them should cover THEIR admin and I shouldn't have to consistently nag them about it.

I don't see how they could prioritise full timers on any other point apart from when they joined the list and, in this case, I think it's more than likely that other children who went on the list after mine have been let in. In which case, I think I would like my ?30 back.

I know that another child who went on the list after mine got a place (because he now goes to the same nursery) but he was 3 days a week, which I understand is a different kettle of fish. Having said that - I would like to have been offered that place, because it's easier to build up days when you are actually in the door. And I did ask to be informed of ANY place, part time or full time, but unfortunately I don't think I've got that request in writing, although I will check to make sure.

My point is I paid them a fee to go on the waiting list and, for all purposes, we never got on that waiting list. So I 'm going to ask for my money back.

[Ellie78]

Sorry - I'm using my account on different devices so different names....

[etta166]

Good luck. I agree that it's a rubish situation, but you'll probably find that they will say that they did put you on a list somewhere, some time and that justifies the fee. My point was rather a cautoinary note to people going on waiting lists now, that they should get a written policy from the nursery to show what that means.

[Sonners]

We had a similar issue with a nursery who told us there would be a place and then we heard nothing from them. We complained in the end and got a refund of the ?50.

[Fragolina]

I think this waiting list fee is such a scam. We put our names down for a popular local nursery a couple of years ago & have never heard back from them. As it turned out I didn't return to work & we didn't need the place, but they weren't to know that.

[Monkey]

Most of those lists are completely mismanaged. I refused to pay at a local community nursery after the then manager told us she might prioritise other people whom she deemed needed the place more so basically I could pay but never get a place depending on whom this woman deemed worthy to get into her nursery.

Nurseries should either not charge, give a refund or close their lists for time to time. I only came across one nursery that closes its lists from time to time.

[montassa]

you are not alone - its daylight robbery - taking money off desperate parents caught up in the trap of trying to get nursery places.

its an easy scam to gather more cash - knowing they have us at their mercy..

someone i know got into the same nursery we were waiting for because she knew the owner and suddenly a place appeared - we waited two years and got no call.

[ortuke]

I have had the same experience from several nurseries. I added my daughter to 6 lists when I was 7-8 months pregnant with her and to date (she'll be 2 next month) I've only heard from 3 of them despite paying the admin fee for 2 of the outstanding 3. When I told one that I was pretty p*ssed off having heard nothing for 2 years (not even a "you've been unsuccessful" email) they just said they were sorry I felt that way. Frankly I feel like most of the nurseries are complacent as they have a captive market in ED...no way to run any kind of business in my opinion.

[shaunag]

Realistically I think they have to charge something or the lists for all local nurseries would be completely out of control. I got wound up by bit when I was trying to arrange Childcare for my first. However, i eventually decided that it's the quality of childcare, not administration that I needed to focus on, however frustrating. I think if you want a place you need to badger, not just pay the fee. There is also a lot of time spent by nursery staff trying to sort out admissions and juggle this with when children are moving between rooms-this time needs to be paid for somehow. I guess I am defending nurseries because my daughter spent 2.5 happy years at one and I did think the staff worked incredibly hard (and it's not a particularly well paid profession). It was a registered charity so no one was pocketing the waiting list fee (and they do close their lists).

[cactus]

I really sympathise with the OP.

Many nurseries adopt this approach, taking a registration fee from all prospective parents, whilst knowing

full well that they won't have a place to offer them, in a year, even two years. Nelly's did this to us, but Mother Goose Upland Road were a bit fairer and more transparent.

However, as others have pointed out, you do really need to keep calling up to let them know you're still very keen and

also tell them if you can be flexible on dates etc.

[vez]

I could have written your post! We have been on Nelly's waiting list since 2010 (!) and they didn't offer us a place either, in fact I never heard from them for those years. And we paid 40 pounds if I remember correctly.

[newboots]

My children are older now and this is not a relevant topic for me. But I find it truly awful that nurseries can charge admin fees like this and doing precisely nothing to earn it.

And its really not good enough to say "well its only ?30 guess we just have to suck it up". What about the many families who can't casually wave goodbye to ?30? And what if they have to put their child down on multiple waiting lists, too, because they want to secure a place asap? That soon mounts up to ?120 or so that a hard up family may never see again! I'm really appalled.

I'd be very interested to see some nursery owners defending this practice.