Top Ten whatever......

[citizenED]

Keef, in the spirit of your original post here are my difinitive top 5 novels (sorry, getting up to ten is a task beyond my puny analytical powers...)

1 The Information - Martin Amis

2 The Corrections - Jonathan Franzen

3 The Secret History - Donna Tartt

4 Charlie Big Potatoes - Phil Robinson

5 Being Dead - Jim Crace

citizen

observations: two are by Americans (the horror!)

only one by a woman (bang go my PC credentials)

all are by living authors.

[SeanMacGabhann]

I@ve read the first 3 of those citizen and loved The Corrections, quite liked the Information but didn't get along with the Tartt book. Or wait.. maybe it was the other one about The little Friend?

[annaj]

Ooooh, now here's a thread I can get excited about. I love Top Tens. Also, it seems unlikely this will descend into a scary class war like everything else on this forum.

So...

Lyrics

Look At Me Voice Of The Beehive

"Psycho eyes and monster thighs

she preches for the TV.

Just give me all your money

and I swear I'll save your soul it's easy.

You can read the good book

to feel bad about yourself,

but just one small donation

could save you from burning down in hell."

Blood Roses Tori Amos

"I've shaved every place that you've been boy"

Land Down Under Men At Work

"She just smiled and gave me a vegemite sandwich"

Mockney Piers - how could you include this but miss out the best line?

Precious Things Tori Amos(again. Sorry)

"So you can make me come, that doesn't make you Jesus"

Creep Radiohead

"You're just like an angel

Your skin makes me cry"

Sway Bic Runga

"Sometimes, when you and collide

I fall into an ocean of you

pull me out in time,

don't let me drown.

The Lovecats The Cure

"We should have each other to tea

we should have each other with cream"

Don't Get Me Wrong The Pretenders

" Don't get me wrong

if I'm acting so distracted

I'm thinking about the fireworks

that go off when you smile"

Mahattan Skyline A-ha

"We sit and watch umbrellas fly

I'm tring to keep my newspaper dry

I hear myself saying

"my boats leaving now"

and we shake hands and cry"

and last but not least

Holding Out For A Hero Bonnie Tyler

"Where have all the good men gone

and where are all the gods?

Where's the streetwise Hercules

to fight the rising odds?

Isn't there a white knight

upon a firey steed?

Late at night I toss and I turn and I dream of what I need"

And you thought Bagpuss was cheesy!

Now, novels:

Chocolat - Joanne Harris and the recent follow-up Lollipop Shoes.

Brideshead Revisited - Evelyn Waugh

A Suitable Boy - Vikram Seth. When I finished it I missed the characters as if they were friends I hadn't seen for ages.

Borderliners - Peter Hoeg. Deeply disturbing but worth it.

The Time Travellers Wife - Audrey Niffenegger

:)).

Anna

[Brendan]

So what are your top ten Top Tens?

[annaj]

Good question Brendan. Hang on, I'm going to need to put the kettle on....

[annaj]

Top Ten Top Tens

Well, there are the obvious - films, songs, books - but i like to be more specific.

1. Break-up songs - surprisingly funny.

2. Quotes or soundbites

3. TV ads

4. 80s outfits

5. Meals - real or imagined

6. Dance sequences in films - very girly but you'd be surprised how quickly the blokes join in

7. Film endings

8. Most embarassing moments - best saved for people you know really well

9. Songs by catagory - best driving, best angry, best romantic etc

10. top 10 top 10s! ;-)

Also, on novels I forgot

After You'd Gone Maggie O'Farrell - brilliantly ambiguous ending

Atonement Ian McEwan

The Alchemist Paul Coelho

[SeanMacGabhann]

godd top 10 of top 10s annaj - thinking cap time

[Fear 'n boozin]

[Brendan]

10 more top-tens.

1. South London boozers

2. Stand up comedians

3. Political fuckups and/or gaffs

4. North London boozers

5. Dictator's taches

6. Terry Pratchett Novels (slightly selective one I suppose for people who were lazy students)

7. Live bands

8. Inventions

9. Beers - larger and ale. (or substitute chosen drink)

10. London bus routes (as it seems to be topical at the moment)

[SeanMacGabhann]

2. Stand up comedians

A top 10 as of now - I may change many of these

1 Bill Hicks

2 Stewart Lee

3 Reg D Hunter

4 Lenny Bruce

5 Richard Pryor

6 Brendon Burns

7 Eddie Izzard (back in the day - not so much now)

8 Rob Newman

9 Mark Thomas

10 Daniel Kitson

[annaj]

Thanks F'nB!

Robin the hooded man. Excellent.

Sean, did you ever see Bill Hicks live? I've only seen video. Also, did you see Eddie Izzard playing Lenny Bruce in the stage show about his life a few years back? It was brilliant. Eddie was equally good at the funny bits, recreating his stand-up, and the tragic bits.

[mockney piers]

After Fear's contribution, top 10:

bad hairstyles

cheesy pop songs

worst use of electronic drums

people to ask "whatever happened to" of

nostalgia tv programmes

hollywood actors who you forget were in cheap tv dramas in their past

ginger women you've fancied

robin hoods

sherrifs of nottingham

pagan gods

[LostThePlot]

annaj Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Lyrics

>

> Look At Me Voice Of The Beehive

> "Psycho eyes and monster thighs

> she preches for the TV.

> Just give me all your money

> and I swear I'll save your soul it's easy.

> You can read the good book

> to feel bad about yourself,

> but just one small donation

> could save you from burning down in hell."

Wow, someone else who's heard of them!!!

Still one of my fave bands of all time. Saw them about 14 times in total, Still madly in love with Melissa...(Sigh)

[annaj]

LostThePlot, I last saw them about 4 or 5 years ago supporting The Wonderstuff and they were still great.

I have two signed t-shirts one from that gig and one from the Reading Festival (1988 I think).

:))

[annaj]

ps It does seem Melissa has lost the plot a bit these days (pun intended)

http://www.madeinheavenbymissy.com/

[mockney piers]

Top 10 What ever happened tos:

1. Michael Praed

2. Jason Connery

3. Rod, Jane and Freddie

4. Lesley out of Brush Strokes, the first one, the really beautiful ginger one *sighs*

5. Maggie Philbin

6. Bernard Cribbins

7. Clive Dunn

8. Nerys Hughes

9. Rodney Bewes

10. Dickie Davis

[Rolo Tomasi]

Top 10 Country & Western Songs (I wish!)

10. If The Phone Don't Ring, You'll Know It's Me.

9. I Liked You Better Before I Got To Know You So Well.

8. I Still Miss You Baby, But My Aim's Gettin' Better.

7. I Wouldn't Take Her To A Dog Fight 'Cause I'm Afraid She'd Win.

6. I'd Marry You Tomorrow, But Let's Honeymoon Tonight.

5. I'm So Miserable Without You, It's Like You're Still Here.

4. If I Had Shot You When I First Wanted To, I'd Be Out Of Prison By Now.

3. My Wife Ran Off With My Best Friend And I Sure Do Miss Him.

2. She Got The Ring And I Got The Finger.

1. I Ain't Never Gone To Bed With An Ugly Woman, But I've Sure Woken Up With A Few.

[SeanMacGabhann]

Annaj - saw him twice. First time was on the back of a 3 minute excerpt I saw on Channel 4 around 91 and had no real idea what to expect... life wasn't the same afterwards

[Fear 'n boozin]

Top ten goals :)

[Jah Lush]

A random selection of top ten drinks

Jack Daniel's

Draught Guinness

Timothy Taylor's Landlord

Shot of Tequila Silver, with salt & lemon shenanigans

Mount Gay rum

A good vintage Armagnac

Chateau Marguaux

Tinned Red Stripe Lager

Cote du Rhone Villages

Cabernet Sauvignon.

[Jah Lush]

Top Ten Bands

The Rolling Stones

The Faces

Velvet Underground

Iggy & The Stooges

Sex Pistols

Primal Scream

The Who

The Kinks

The Upsetters (both of 'em, Little Richard's backing band and Lee "Scratch" Perry's)

[mockney piers]

Tanqueray 10

Grey Goose

Havana Club tres a?os

Tamdhu

Cuervo Tradicional

Hendrick's

Campari

Havana Club siete a?os

Fonseca 20 year old tawney

Good Rioja

[Marmora Man]

For the lyrics section. Plus - how about top ten "things to be banned / binned forever" (see bottom of this post)

One of us cannot be wrong:

An Eskimo showed me a movie

he'd recently taken of you:

the poor man could hardly stop shivering,

his lips and his fingers were blue.

I suppose that he froze when the wind took your clothes

and I guess he just never got warm.

But you stand there so nice, in your blizzard of ice,

oh please let me come into the storm.

Leonard Cohen

Suzanne:

Suzanne takes you down to her place by the water

She feeds you tea and oranges that come all the way from China

Leonard Cohen

The Partisan:

When they poured across the border

I was cautioned to surrender,

this I could not do;

I took my gun and vanished.

I have changed my name so often,

I've lost my wife and children

but I have many friends,

and some of them are with me.

An old woman gave us shelter,

kept us hidden in the garret,

then the soldiers came;

she died without a whisper.

There were three of us this morning

I'm the only one this evening

but I must go on;

Leonard Cohen (from French original)

I Shot the Sheriff:

All around in my home town?

They're trying to track me down.?

They say they want to bring me in guilty?

For the killing of a deputy,?

For the life of a deputy.?But I say:

I shot the sheriff, but I swear it was in self-defense.?

I shot the sheriff, and they say it is a capital offense.

Bob Marley

Evr?body must get Stoned:

They'll stone ya when you're at the breakfast table.

They'll stone ya when you are young and able.

They'll stone ya when you're tryin' to make a buck.

They'll stone ya and then they'll say, good luck.

Tell ya what, I would not feel so all alone,

Everybody must get stoned.

Bob Dylan

Rosemary and the Jack of Hearts:

The festival was over, the boys were all plannin' for a fall,

The cabaret was quiet except for the drillin' in the wall.

The curfew had been lifted and the gamblin' wheel shut down,

Anyone with any sense had already left town.

He was standin' in the doorway lookin' like the Jack of Hearts.

He moved across the mirrored room, Set it up for everyone, he said,

Then everyone commenced to do what they were doin' before he turned their

heads. Then he walked up to a stranger and he asked him with a grin,

Could you kindly tell me, friend, what time the show begins?

Bob Dylan

Don?t Tell Mama:

Mama thinks I?m living in a convent

A secluded little convent,

In the southern part of France

Mama doesn?t even have an inkling,

That I?m working nightclub

In a pair of lacy pants

So please sir,

If you run into my mama

Don?t reveal my indiscretion

Give a working girl a chance

Kander & Ebb (Caberet)

The oldest established crap game in New York:

The Biltmore garage wants a grand

But we ain?t got a grand on hand

They?ve now put a lock on the door

Of the gymn at public school 84

There?s a stock room behind McKluskie?s bar

But Mrs McKluskie ain?t a good scout

And things being what they are

The back of the police station is out

Frank Loesser (Guys and Dolls)

I got the four walls (and one dirty window) blues:

I got the four walls and one dirty window blues:

I got the four walls and one dirty window blues:

If I?d saved my money when I was young and doing well

I wouldn?t be here, singing in this cheap hotel

I got the four walls and one dirty window blues:

unknown

Strange Brew:

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you.

She's a witch of trouble in electric blue,

In her own mad mind she's in love with you.

With you.

Now what you gonna do?

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you.

She's some kind of demon messing in the glue.

If you don't watch out it'll stick to you.

To you.

What kind of fool are you?

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you.

On a boat in the middle of a raging sea,

She would make a scene for it all to be

Ignored.

And wouldn't you be bored?

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you.

Strange brew, strange brew, strange brew, strange brew.

Strange brew -- kill what's inside of you.

Eric Clapton, Gail Collins and Felix Pappalardi

Ban / Bin

Politicians

Taxes

Daily Mail

Dog C*** on pavements

Religion

ID card Scheme

Muzak

Talking lifts

Cars with sound systems better suited to Wembley Stadium

52 week football season

[LostThePlot]

annaj Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> LostThePlot, I last saw them about 4 or 5 years

> ago supporting The Wonderstuff and they were still

> great.

> I have two signed t-shirts one from that gig and

> one from the Reading Festival (1988 I think).

>

> :))

I was there!!!

Do you remember them playing the Comsat Angels "Independance Day" that night? One of their B Sides.

Just before they launched into it Melissa spoke to someone at the front of the crowd. That was me..

I had e-mailed them, when I found out they were playing, and said I've seen you play 13 times now but you have never played Independance Day when I've seen you, please please please play it. They did, Melissa spoke to me, and i fell in love with her all over again.

God they were good live...

[Jah Lush]

Back to lyrics then....

Salt Of The Earth

By The Rolling Stones, written by Jagger/Richards

Let's drink to the hard working people

Let's drink to the lowly of birth

Raise your glass to the good and the evil

Let's drink to the salt of the earth

Say a prayer for the common foot soldier

Spare a thought for his back breaking work

Say a prayer for his wife and children

Who burn the fires and who still till the earth

And when I search the faceless crowd

A swirling mass of gray and black and white

They don't look real to me

In fact, they look so strange

Raise your glass to the hard working people

Let's drink to the uncounted heads

Let's think of the wavering millions

Who need leaders but get gamblers instead

Spare a thought for the stay-at-home voter

His empty eyes gaze at strange beauty shows

And a parade of grey suited grafters

A choice of cancer or polio

And when I look in the faceless crowd

A swirling mass of greys and black and white

They don't look real to me

Oh don't they look so strange

Let's drink to the hard working people

Let's think of the lowly of birth

Spare a thought for the ragtaggy people

Let's drink to the salt of the earth

Let's drink to the hard working people

Let's drink to the salt of the earth

Let's drink to the two thousand million

Let's drink to the humble of birth

Let's drink to the salt of the earth.

Masters of War

by Bob Dylan

Come you masters of war

You that build the big guns

You that build the death planes

You that build the big bombs

You that hide behind walls

You that hide behind desks

I just want you to know

I can see through your masks

You that never done nothing

But build to destroy

You play with my world

Like it's you little toy

You put a gun in my hand

And you hide from my eyes

And you turn and run faster

When the fast bullets fly

Like Judas of old

You lie and deceive

A world war can be won

You want me to believe

But I see through your eyes

And I see through your brain

Like I see through the water

That runs down my drain

You fasten the triggers

For the others to fire

Then you sit back and watch

When the death count gets higher

You hide in your mansion

As young people's blood

Flows out of their bodies

And is buried in the mud

You've thrown the worst fear

That can never be hurled

Fear to bring children

Into the world

For threatening my baby

Unborn and unnamed

You ain't worth the blood

That runs in your veins

How much do I know

To talk out of turn

You might say that I'm young

You might say I'm unlearned

But there's one thing I know

Though I'm younger than you

Even Jesus would never

Forgive what you do

Let me ask you one question

Is your money that good?

Will it buy you forgiveness

Do you thing that it could

I think you will find

When your death takes its toll

All the money you made

Will never buy back your soul

And I hope that you die

And your death'll come soon

I will follow you casket

In the pale afternoon

And I'll watch while you're lowered

Down to your deathbed

and I'll stand o'er your grave

Till I'm sure that you're dead.

Every Grain Of Sand

By Bob Dylan

In the time of my confession, in the hour of my deepest need

When the pool of tears beneath my feet flood every newborn seed

There's a dyin' voice within me reaching out somewhere

Toiling in the danger and in the morals of despair

Don't have the inclination to look back on any mistake

Like Cain, I now behold this chain of events that I must break

I the fury of the moment I can see the Master's hand

In every leaf that trembles, in every grain of sand

Oh, the flowers of indulgence and weeds of yesteryear

Like criminals they have choked the breath of conscience and good cheer

The sun beat down upon the steps of time to light the way

To ease the pain of idleness and the memory of decay

I gaze into a doorway of temptation's angry flame

And every time I pass that way I always hear my name

Then onward in my journey I come to understand

That every hair is numbered like every grain of sand

I have gone from rags to riches in the sorrow of the night

In the violence of a summer's dream in the chill of a wintry light

In the bitter dance of loneliness fading into space

In the broke mirror of innocence on each forgotten face

I hear the ancient footsteps like the motion of the sea

Sometmes I turn, there's someone there, other times it's only me

I'm hanging in the balance of the reality of man

Like every sparrow falling, like every grain of sand

I'm Waiting For the Man

By The Velvet Underground

Lyrics Lou Reed

I'm waiting for my man

Twenty-six dollars in my hand

Up to Lexinton 125

Feeling sick and dirty, more dead than alive

I'm waiting for my man

Hey white boy, what you doing uptown?

Hey white boy, you chasing our women around?

Oh pardon me sir, it's furthest from my mind

I'm just looking for a dear, dear friend of mine

I'm waiting for my man

Here he comes, he's all dressed in black

PR shoes and a big straw hat

He's never early, he's always late

First thing you learn is you always gotta wait

I'm waiting for my man

Up to a brownstone, up three flights of stairs

Everybody's pinned you, but nobody cares

He's got the works, gives you sweet taste

Ah then you gotta split because you got no time to waste

I'm waiting for my man

Baby don't you holler, darlin' don't you ball and shout

I'm feeling good, you know I'm gonna work it on out

I'm feeling good, I'm feeling so fine

Until tomorrow, but that's just another time

I'm waiting for my man

Blimey! that's only four, six to go. Will post 'em another time.