Jump to content

Are there any nice single men in East D? (Lounged))


Recommended Posts

Keef - You are supposed to be on the naughty step, and we all know what happens to naughty boys who talk when they are on the naughty step, they get a damn good spanking from Miss (hmmm... does that sound kinky, it wasn't meant to ::o)


Crispy, I have read that story about Waitrose, Sainsburys or Netto (depending on the class and quality of person you are looking for) and the theory that you can tell a singleton by the contents of their basket but please, at least support the independent shops and try and find single men in places like Pretty Traditional, the ED Deli, William Rose and so on (I know, I am supposed to Love Peckham, but I don't see ED singles in K&K Meats or BIMS so I can't use them as an example now)


Support our local shops whilst searching for Love is all I ask and shun the supermarkets and their pre-packaged Romance for one.

Crispy, if you want I can call you Betty and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al...


I noticed you in Sainsburys this weekend (you were the drunk woman who couldn't get out of the walk in fridge, one broken stilletto and panda eye make up again .... hard to miss and has been a great source of After Dinner stories in many a home in ED this week... beware children the demon drink and the perils fo walk in fridges in Sainsburys)


What on earth is a cheese pie and how will that draw single men to you ? Remember the old addage, feed a man to make him happy so make sure that you buy things he will like (cans of beer is a good starter) and they will flock to you in the Deli, or failing that use Stout as a Perfume to male men notice you (but beware of the Pensioners who may get a whiff)


I suspect that maybe you are single because of the Cheese Pie fixation, (isn't that really Flan ?)

Crispy, if you want I can call you Betty and Betty when you call me, you can call me Al...


I noticed you in Sainsburys this weekend (you were the drunk woman who couldn't get out of the walk in fridge, one broken stilletto and panda eye make up again .... hard to miss and has been a great source of After Dinner stories in many a home in ED this week... beware children the demon drink and the perils fo walk in fridges in Sainsburys)


What on earth is a cheese pie and how will that draw single men to you ? Remember the old addage, feed a man to make him happy so make sure that you buy things he will like (cans of beer is a good starter) and they will flock to you in the Deli, or failing that use Stout as a Perfume to male men notice you (but beware of the Pensioners who may get a whiff)


I suspect that maybe you are single because of the Cheese Pie fixation, (isn't that really Flan ?) BUT help is available and I am sure that if you hang around long enough in the local shops then the 'helpers' in white coats will come and assist you !!!

Oh LuvPeckham, oh Crispy, if only this were a 50s screwball comedy.

I'd be the ugly but loveable sidekick to LP's matinee idol who grabs you by a shoulder each, shakes you and says (line?, oh yes)

'What Is it wit' youse two? Cain't ye's see yer crazy fer each uder? And I t'ought you'se was s'possed to be de smart ones? Jeez"

You'd turn slowly to look at each other and...

Well I'll leave you to write the rest.

Moos Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Oh Hona, don't hide your light under a bushel,

> you're just not sidekick material. You're a

> glowing, golden Star!


Oh Moos, you are a love.

Bless your kind, kind heart, I feel humbled by your generous and if I may, perceptive review.

But if my work goes even the smallest of ways to entwine two loving hearts, then it shall not have been in vain.


Sending hugs.

crispy Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> what about it Luv?, see you by the cheese counter

> in sainsbury's on saturday night, I will buy you

> some cans of special brew?


You know best of course Crispy, but I didn't see it going quite as Ken Loach as that.

Perhaps you might want to consider a more light-hearted When Harrry Met Sally approach as opposed to the gritty realism of Up The Junction. It's early days, you know, plenty of time for grit later on.

Lord knows, I should know.

Naturally, you will want to workshop and then go with your instincts.

Oh, hark, I'm giving notes.

Ignore me, I'm just being silly.

ERM


What the hell just happened whislt I was away making (and eating) Fish Pie, one minute Betty (sorry Crispy) and I were in the walk in freezers, the next in the Lounge, did some one put Rohipnal in my Ribenna, is that why I can't remember what happened just now and why I repeated myself earlier ?


Dear Moos and HonaloochieB - What on earth are you two smoking tonight, and why isnt it being shared around the block ? - or maybe you did and that is why I am in the lounge with little memory of what has happened, wearing my top on back to front and a bit dazed and confused ....I feel used now and I bet none of you are going to respect me in the morning (again)


Betty (Crispy) Pleazzze - I am far more cultured then Special Brew, now if you talk Tequila then maybe I will respond, but careful now, too much will result in that classic sauf London Male mating cry of "Oh I feel everso Drunk"


Also, I never meant to break anyones Heart, but the Cheese Counter isn't what I call a 'hot night out' now if you said the bakery section then maybe, just maybe.


HonaloochieB - erm is the Harry Met Sally concept allowed on the ED Forum ? hasn't it been over done to death, multiple times, isn't it considered disruptive and damaging to young children's mental development ? all too confusing for me I have to say !!!


Keef, Please come off the Naughty Step now and keep these ladies in line, they are begining to scare me (I want my mummy)

So is it true Keef?, have you ever loitered around the fruit and veg trying to catch the eye of a woman with micowave-able meals for one in her trolly?. or is it just a myth?


Complete myth, I send the wife to do the shoppin whilst I loiter outside bars hoping to catch the eye of very drunk and lonely women. It's a gift you know.

LuvP, I was led astray by the influence of my powerful crush on the divine HonaloochieB, I apologise for any lowering of the tone.


Please continue to flirt elegantly with the dainty Crispy and don't take it against her that she offered you Special Brew, I believe she was trying Only to Connect. It's too late to call for Mummy now, be a man and whisk her off to the independent grocery shop where you can finger seasonal local apples together.

Moos Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Sadly our love (well, mine anyway, I fear my

> adoration may be unrequited) must remain pure and

> virtual, as there is a Mr. Moos in real life who

> would probably not approve of my squeezing Kentish

> pears with other men.


Unrequited? I requite all right.

But of course Mr Moos is quite the stickler and can quote the wedding vows backwards.

Which is just as it should be.

Chaste is what we are.


(that's another one for your fine Sid James impersonation DC)

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...