Man-Flu is upon us (for Gentlemen only)

[LuvPeckham]

Yeah Kel, go start your own discussion cos we all know youse is a girlie ....

Okay now the girlies have gone, can I let you all into a little secret gentlemen, tomorrow night is (obviously) Friday night and we can't have man-flu over the weekend, so there is a short term cure that lasts from 6pm Friday until 7am Monday but listen up, come closer, no closer then that, that's it touch your nose to the screen and "COUGH" okay that's scared the girlies off again I bet they all thought they were going to get some amazing secret....

....okay so the secret for the weekend is Shhhssss 'Stella' (I told you to be quiet, don't shout it out) not an obvious cure, and not to everyone's tastes but start on pints of Stella at 6pm Friday, drink one every 45 minutes until Sunday night at 11pm (when the pubs shut) and on Monday, the man-flu that you had forgotten about all weekend will come back with a vengance at 7am exactly... should get sympathy votes all over again, but as long as you don't tell anyone what you plans over the weekend are...

Right back to coughing up fur balls, making horrible sounds, slobbing around the house in my trollies and farting a lot cos I have Man-Flu (I have never worked out why I live alone you know!! :-$)

[KalamityKel]

lucky Stella :-|

[LuvPeckham]

According to a freind of mine fro Ghana, the Doctors out there also practice a strange ritual to cure Man-Flu for the weekend, it involves the 'black magic' called Guinness not Stella ... so there is a choice to help you all out this weekend.

[Strawbs]

I think unfortunately manflu may be mutating in to ladyflu as Ive woken up this morning oh so poorly.. I wish you manfluers could keep your germs to yourselves!! ;-)

*whispers* its an epidemic..

*runs out before the boys start throwing stones cause she is a lady*

[LuvPeckham]

I am sorry to hear you are ill Strawbs, but as every man knows, Man-Flu is gender specific, and I think you must just have a cold or something trivial like that.

Please don't come on to this discussion again pretending you are ill and dying whilst all these brave boys and men are here getting on with their daily life and not even whimpering about he pain, agony and disabling experience of true man-flu.

Gosh girls get a slight sniffle and what happens, they claim they are dying, can't look after the kids, can cook or wash up or even go to work... Sheeesshhh you would never catch a man doing that, even if he was hours away from meeting his maker from a deadly strain of Asian-BirdMan-Flu.

I think that we should also have a national flag day to remember the fallen from Man-Flu, a parade down Whithall and the laying of hands on pints after... lest we forget the brave men who struggle to keep this nation going even with Man-Flu.

So dear Strawbs, please keep your cold to yourself and leave us men to bravely carry on with running this country, the economy and making sure that family life doesn't deteriate into a lawless society whilst women with colds and slight sniffles languish in bed demanding sympathy and attention. (6)

[Michael Palaeologus]

Its terrible, women trying to make a band-wagon of our suffering.

I had to come home early today, on a Friday! Had to spend the afternoon on my sofa watching the Military Channel.

Ladies, get your own ailments!

[????]

I can't believe that Strawbs is on here pretending she's got Manflu when all she's got is snivelling cold PAH! Pull yourself together girl.

[Tony.London Suburbs]

These wimmin' seem to have no backbone at all Guys.:X...there's us suffering manfully and they want to share with us the fact that 1 or 2 have,at worst,a slight sniffle.(6)

[Strawbs]

Maybe I am a lady who has somehow caught manflu!! I was proper poorly with nongenderspecificflu yesterday - was even running a fever and it stopped me from having a sherbet or two!! *gasp*..

Its ok boys I will always remember that your suffering and pain is always above and beyond what any of us ladies could feel ;-)

@Luvpeckham - your post made me laugh out loud in between cougs even through the haze of my ladyflu..

Signing off

Never as sick as boys with manflu strawbs

;-)

[KalamityKel]

Trust the boys eh strawbs they can never keep things to themselves! ;-)

[EDOldie]

Strawbs, it can't be man flu if you can't drink. Contradiction in terms.

[SteveT]

I was in Boots yesterday and a women in a white coat accosted me and

asked if I would like a flue jab 'ow much said I.

?15 she said,

I refused and thought I would not get it,

as it's (for gentlemen only)

[Jah Lush]

Man flu? Girl flu? Nongenderspecific flu? Oh for feck's sake pull yourselves together yer fecking wussies. A Night Nurse (are you with me?) and a decent bottle of Cognac in the biggest balloon glass you can find will sort you out pronto.

[Brendan]

I had a flu jab a few weeks ago. I?m not telling my wife or my boss about it though. Just in case I need a little r&r time sitting around in a dressing gown and drinking medicinal infusions.

[Jah Lush]

That's spirit Brendan. Might I suggest a smoking jacket rather than a dressing gown though. One doesn't want to let the side down.

[citizenED]

And a cravat. Dans suit. And a matching kerchief for nose-blowing, etc.

[Brendan]

And of course the elephant-gun kept under the leather armchair with which to put pay to any telephone that dares to ring with anything work related whilst you are convalescing.

[citizenED]

Naturally, sir. I am eyeing the calender to look for suitable dates for my bout of manflu to kick in. Should I do the beginning of a week or the end? Should I go for the whole week? Questions, questions. I feel a sneeze coming on.

[Peckhamgatecrasher]

CitEd - first ODI against India is on 14th Nov. If you wangle it correctly, you could watch it live at 3.30 am and then catch up on your sleep.

[LuvPeckham]

Until I spent the whole weekend in bed coughing like a Hyenia on LSD (trust me I have lived in the outback of my parents house you know) I would have said to citizenED that the best plan is tail end of one week and the start of the next, thereby giving you a few days longer over the weekend, plus Mondays and Fridays are suspect in themselves.

however the flaw in this plan is that you actually may well contract Man-Flu whilst you are de-stressed from work and really end up in bed starting at the ceiling, wrything around a lot, sweating and kept awake whilst trying to work out what is going on. (sorry if this sounds like some peoples idea of an ideal friday night after the beers)

So now I am feeling a bit better (sorry boss, got the pet weasel to type this from dictation so not well enough for work yet) and having read comments above I feel well enought to make the following observation.

Strawbs, I did some research into your claims that you may have caught man-flu and at first I was dismissive, until I found an obscure article in the lancet from 1907 entitled 'Lady flu suffer was really thai lady-boy' the article went on to describe how a 'young dancer' at a club in Soho called 'tak-mi upmi-reer' appeared to suffer from a version of Man-Flu that doctors at the time christened "Lady-Flu", everyone at that time was stunned and accused her of faking the symptoms, and only upon a full examination did the medical professionals of the day discover that she was in fact a he, something that startled all the doctors, the public and bizarely quite a few well known MP's as well. Needless to say that upmi-reer was soon out on his/her arse shortly after.

Interesting parallels could be drawn from this case, but I am sure that you aren't really suffereing propper man-flu now are you.

[buggie]

Obv being a mere girl, I can't even begin to imagine the pain you guys are going through, but at the moment have the joy of not knowing if I'll be able to speak or if a series of croaks and squeaks will come out instead - especially fun yesterday at work!

Anyhoo, I remembered this sketch which I thought you'd appreciate:

Man-Flu

BTW - lemsip cold and flu capsules x 2, with ibuprofen x 2, x 3 a day is the way to go!

[LuvPeckham]

One gets the feeling that the ladies are not taking the seriousness of Man-Flu for real here

Not only has buggie found that clip, but also I found the following

Gentlemen, stand up for our rights to suffer sickness in silence, (well those who can stand that is) don't let women undermine us, next thing we know they will be demanding the vote, equal rights and to burn their bras (Phoooaaarrrr) and before you know it one of them will be running the country.

too scary to contemplate I have to say. ::o

[Tony.London Suburbs]

LuvPeckham Wrote:

before you know it one of them will be running the country.

One of themnearly did:(

[KalamityKel]

*sighs*

[Tony.London Suburbs]

Life,innit Kels::o