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Man-Flu is upon us (for Gentlemen only)

LuvPeckham

By LuvPeckham
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LuvPeckham

LuvPeckham

Posted
Posted

Oh Dear


I woke up this morning with what can only be described as full blown, potentially terminal, man flu... looks like the season is upon us already gentlemen.


Symptons appear to be a slightly sore throat, cough, maybe a bloked nose and mild ear ache.


Sadly I may have already accidently passed it on to everyone in the Rye and Clockhouse last night, if you were drinking in either of these establishments or start to show any of the described symptoms then I would suggest calling your boss now and booking a fortnight sick leave from work as a precaution. It may also be a good idea to leave a note for your milkman (or the Ocardo driver) to leave the following additional items for you.

....A Night Nurse (of any description)

....Extra Milk (for all the tea you will need to consume)

....A loaf of bread (it's too hard to cook for ourselves in thus condition so dry bread will be okay)

....A crate of beer/bottle of Whisky (for medicinal reasons only)

....A copy of Nuts / Loaded / FHM / The Beano (to stop you getting bored)

....A set of spare batteries for the remote (see above)

....A get well sympathy card that you can fill in yourself to make people think it is worse then it is.


Good Luck Gentlemen and I hope to see you all on the other side of the Man-Flu Pandemic that is just starting to hit us all.... :(

Michael Palaeologus

Michael Palaeologus

Posted
Posted

I had man-flu (for all the sympathy it got me), had the Flu-jab and blow me it brought the man-flu back!


Temperature and everything. I hardly have the strength to push the button on the remote, turn the kettle on, slip some bread in the toaster and heat Heinz Tomato soup in the Microwave. Although, if I do these things separately I can just about manage.


"Mother, is that you Mother?"

Michael Palaeologus

Michael Palaeologus

Posted
Posted

Thats a comfort ...


I think I may be having an out of body experience, or is that the hot-toddy and 400mg Ibuprofen tablets?


What is the point of having a flu vaccine that give you the flu?and YES! I do know how vaccines work, but it isnt supposed to go beyond a sore arm. I dont remember getting small-pox when I had that jab.

Tony.London Suburbs

Tony.London Suburbs

Posted
Posted

Given our brutal lifestyles its quite amazing how most Men make so little fuss over the myriad illnesses that burden us.

Lucky we can keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity like my slightly sore throat now,for example.

Bravo(tu)

Marmora Man

Marmora Man

Posted
Posted

A cure:


Go to bed with bottle of whisky and a hat. Bed needs bed posts.


Take a drink of whisky and hang hat on left hand bed post. Take another drink of whisky and hang hat on other bed post. Take a third drink and place hat on original bed post. Continue until:


a. Cured


b. You can't see the bed posts any more


c. You don't give a damn

Tony.London Suburbs

Tony.London Suburbs

Posted
Posted

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

"I am too ill to be navigating my way round bed posts."


Hope you feel better M8.

You are handling this with admirable fortitude I must say.



"Women have no idea about suffering."


Well,at least,no-one can say we whinge,whine and moan about trifling ailments.

EDOldie

EDOldie

Posted
Posted
Wake up. Feel glands. Phone work. Sound croaky. Elicit sympathy (probably false) of bosses pa. Go back to bed. Feel gland, sorry glands. Sleep off hangover (sorry, flu). Wake up about 12.30. Thinks, oh a breath of fresh air will be good, wrap up well. Walk round park, get bored. Walk down LL, buy paper. Notice The Palm is uncrowded and pop in, no smoking these days so good for the lungs and chance to top up on Vitamin C. Get bored with the OJ and rehydrate with cracking pint of Harveys. Feeling further rehydration could be beneficial, have another one. Feel a bit peckish. Feed a cold, starve a fever. It's not a fever, must be a cold. Order rib eye steak with chips and some greens (extra Vitamin C) and large glass of Merlot. Drink Merlot and when steak arrives order another glass. Other half wakes you up in bed about 6.30pm, concerned. Feel sick. Lie. Proper man flu.

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