Jump to content

Recommended Posts

Oh Dear


I woke up this morning with what can only be described as full blown, potentially terminal, man flu... looks like the season is upon us already gentlemen.


Symptons appear to be a slightly sore throat, cough, maybe a bloked nose and mild ear ache.


Sadly I may have already accidently passed it on to everyone in the Rye and Clockhouse last night, if you were drinking in either of these establishments or start to show any of the described symptoms then I would suggest calling your boss now and booking a fortnight sick leave from work as a precaution. It may also be a good idea to leave a note for your milkman (or the Ocardo driver) to leave the following additional items for you.

....A Night Nurse (of any description)

....Extra Milk (for all the tea you will need to consume)

....A loaf of bread (it's too hard to cook for ourselves in thus condition so dry bread will be okay)

....A crate of beer/bottle of Whisky (for medicinal reasons only)

....A copy of Nuts / Loaded / FHM / The Beano (to stop you getting bored)

....A set of spare batteries for the remote (see above)

....A get well sympathy card that you can fill in yourself to make people think it is worse then it is.


Good Luck Gentlemen and I hope to see you all on the other side of the Man-Flu Pandemic that is just starting to hit us all.... :(

I had man-flu (for all the sympathy it got me), had the Flu-jab and blow me it brought the man-flu back!


Temperature and everything. I hardly have the strength to push the button on the remote, turn the kettle on, slip some bread in the toaster and heat Heinz Tomato soup in the Microwave. Although, if I do these things separately I can just about manage.


"Mother, is that you Mother?"

Thats a comfort ...


I think I may be having an out of body experience, or is that the hot-toddy and 400mg Ibuprofen tablets?


What is the point of having a flu vaccine that give you the flu?and YES! I do know how vaccines work, but it isnt supposed to go beyond a sore arm. I dont remember getting small-pox when I had that jab.

Given our brutal lifestyles its quite amazing how most Men make so little fuss over the myriad illnesses that burden us.

Lucky we can keep a stiff upper lip in the face of adversity like my slightly sore throat now,for example.

Bravo(tu)

A cure:


Go to bed with bottle of whisky and a hat. Bed needs bed posts.


Take a drink of whisky and hang hat on left hand bed post. Take another drink of whisky and hang hat on other bed post. Take a third drink and place hat on original bed post. Continue until:


a. Cured


b. You can't see the bed posts any more


c. You don't give a damn

Michael Palaeologus Wrote:

"I am too ill to be navigating my way round bed posts."


Hope you feel better M8.

You are handling this with admirable fortitude I must say.



"Women have no idea about suffering."


Well,at least,no-one can say we whinge,whine and moan about trifling ailments.

Wake up. Feel glands. Phone work. Sound croaky. Elicit sympathy (probably false) of bosses pa. Go back to bed. Feel gland, sorry glands. Sleep off hangover (sorry, flu). Wake up about 12.30. Thinks, oh a breath of fresh air will be good, wrap up well. Walk round park, get bored. Walk down LL, buy paper. Notice The Palm is uncrowded and pop in, no smoking these days so good for the lungs and chance to top up on Vitamin C. Get bored with the OJ and rehydrate with cracking pint of Harveys. Feeling further rehydration could be beneficial, have another one. Feel a bit peckish. Feed a cold, starve a fever. It's not a fever, must be a cold. Order rib eye steak with chips and some greens (extra Vitamin C) and large glass of Merlot. Drink Merlot and when steak arrives order another glass. Other half wakes you up in bed about 6.30pm, concerned. Feel sick. Lie. Proper man flu.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • For some reason I have thought for years that it was just a very expensive restaurant!
    • We are thrilled to announce that Little Stars Creche will be opening its doors on  28th April! We are so excited to bring this much-needed service to the community, and we want to thank everyone for participating in our recent survey.  Your feedback was invaluable in shaping Little Stars and ensuring it meets the needs of local families. Here's what you need to know: Days & Times: Initially, Little Stars Creche will run on Monday and Wednesday mornings. Location: East Dulwich Community Centre. Duration: Each session will last for 2 hours . Future Plans: We have exciting plans to expand our services over time, including adding more days and even offering exercise classes for parents while their children are in the creche! Opening Day - A Gentle Introduction: To help your child feel comfortable and familiar with Little Stars, our first session on April 28th will be an open day. We are offering parents the opportunity to book a 45-minute slot to attend with their child, allowing them to explore the surroundings, meet our friendly staff, and get acquainted with our setup. We do have limited places so booking is essential.  Ready to Learn More? For full information about Little Stars Creche and a detailed schedule please visit our webpage here: www.freedomacademy.co.uk/little-stars-creche Don't forget to join our social media channels for the latest updates, fun activities, and community news!
    • My food bin….still not collected….
    • A huge thank you to Julian Richards for fitting our custom wardrobes in two of our bedrooms, we are so happy with the results, they really feel a 'part of the room', super integrated with the space. Julian was a joy to work with, extremely helpful talking through the various options to help make decisions around the look and feel of the wardrobes vs the storage space, and approaches the build in a very methodically and logical manner, ensuring all our needs are taken into account to deliver a space that works for us and our lives. An excellent carpenter and a pleasure to have in the house. I highly recommend working with Julian!
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...