Night-time - No nappy - LIFTING?

[Lochie]

Would appreciate some advice on 'lifting'!

My son is 4.5, we got rid of his night-time nappies about 6 months ago. He has done really well, only occasionally having an accident now. We have always relied on lifting him to do a wee whilst he is asleep, at about 11pm at night. He then typically goes the whole night through til morning.

Does anyone know when to stop lifting? The times we have stopped/forgotten, he has wet the bed, so he definitely now depends on being lifted to stay dry! In a way I feel like we have conditioned him and am not sure how he will last the whole night without it. Or is he too young to go the whole night without it? Any thoughts would be appreciated :-)

[deirdre]

My son is 4.1. He hasn't been in nappies for about six months or more. We don't do lifting because I don't like disturbing him so he goes to bed at around 8.30-9 and wakes up at 7-8. He wets the bed maybe one night out of 5. We have a few plastic sheets and we've just gotten used to washing them and his other sheets and covers a lot more. I wash so much anyway that it doesn't seem like that big of a deal. The advantage of this is that I'll be able to tell when he's staying dry. The disadvantage is lots of washing... When they get full control is individual to the child I think. Some crack it very early, some are later...

[Grotty]

Hi Lochie, we were having the same dilemma as you. We took nighttime nappies off in September last year, had 2 weeks of dry nights, then wet beds at least every other night turning into every night. So we started lifting. Every time we stopped she would wet the bed. We were despairing that we had got her into a habit/expectation of weeing at that time and had no idea how to break it. Speaking to a friend her daughter just got up one night to go to the loo by herself and just carried on doing that if she needed a wee. So we decided to wait it out. We were thinking it was never going to happen when suddenly 2 months ago, we were downstairs and heard noises upstairs and found her on the toilet. Amazing. We eased off the lifting over 2 weeks during which time she did it again a few times. We stopped lifting and she hasn't wet the bed since. She also rarely now gets up in the night. I know its just our own personal experience but hope that helps x

[kittysailing]

I'm a bit confused - I've kept my 4 year old in a pull up at night - was kind of waiting until it was dry in the morning before I took him out as the thought of regular wet beds is unappealing! I think we're almost there - I encourage the loo before bed. Am I missing something? Will he only train with it off?

[crystal7]

Kittysailing we are doing the same! Night pull ups are often dry now or hardly wet. I can't bear the thought of waking my daughter up, I know some sleep through it though.

[SarahG]

Do not lift. It's gets the child into a habit of weeing whilst half asleep, which then makes it more difficult for them to get out of that habit.

Children will only be dry at night once a specific hormone has been released. Don't put pressure on, just keep pull ups as part of nighttime and once they've been consistantly dry for a few weeks then consider changing to a waterproof sheet.

Just do not lift your child.

[Pickle]

Our son was out of day nappies at 2.5, but it wasn't until after his 6th birthday that he was dry at night. We tried lifting for a while, but felt it was futile (and a bit of a nuisance!). Until they have developed the hormone which wakes them up when they need the toilet I believe there's not really anything you can do.

It was a pretty sudden change for our son, and he told us he was ready. In the 18 months since, he's never wet the bed :)

[etta166]

It is a sudden thing that just happens, some time between 2 and 9 usually. Most people agree that night-time dryness is not trainable, beucause ther is a hormone-driven, physiological switch that turns off night-time urine production that takes time to mature and "switch on". If lifting them for a wee at 11 or so works for you and saves on nappies then that sounds like a good way to do things. I guess that you can work out when they don't need it any longer by not lifting them for a couple of nights every month or so and waiting to see what happens.

With my son, it just happened about 3 days after we stopped nappies in the day, when he was 2. My daughter is completely different and 2 years after leaving the day-time nappies behind, she is still wet about 3 mornings a week, and some weeks it's every day. I'm happy to just wait until the nappies are always dry before going without. The thought of any extra laundry at the moment is just too much!

[littlemissindulgence]

We did lift our little girl at 3.5yrs old before we went to bed (at around 10pm) and brought it forward every week by 20 mins for 2 months and job done. Dry from 7pm - 7am. Not a wet bed since...

And it helps if you limit drinks to 100ml after 5pm, a wee before bed and that's it. Easy Pee-sy.

[SEGirl]

Hi there

We were exactly the same and our little man is 4 1/2 also. I dreaded what it would be like if we stopped the lifting. Someone suggested to me that we do it in stages & not completely cut out the lifting, so we talked to him about did he think he could walk back from the after going, which he did and then we got him to walk there and back. Did he think he would be able to find his way if we didn't take hime and he needed to go.

Our landing is quite bright withought lights, but you could try a night light if it would make it easier for him. We did this for a couple of weeks and gave him lots of encouragement about it during the day. I also did a lot of talking about when he was a big boy and going to school after the summer he wouldn't need to be picked up during the night and how big boys didn't need to do this and mentioned a few friends who don't do it etc. Without being pushy. I'm a big believer in the drip feeding of an idea and he responds really well to this. I also mentioned that he could get a new piece of lego if he decided to try it. (I'm also a believer in rewards ;) )

Then a few weeks into the the walking to the toilet with either me or my husband he decided he wanted to not go to the toilet in the middle of the night. He got up in the middle of the night all by himself and went to the toilet...I was amazed!! We told him how proud we were etc. From then on in he's only wet the bed once and goes straight through without being picked up or getting up himself, he's been doing this for about 8 weeks now. I can't believe it as we have previously had other toileting difficulties with him so this has been quite a turn around.

Any questions give, just pm me. He might be more ready than you think. I'm sorry we didn't do it a couple of months previous.

Hope you have success!

[jesska]

I took the nappies off both my boys at night shortly after they were trained for the daytime, so by 3yo for each. They wet the bed a bit, sure, but it wasn't that long before that was sorted and using a double or triple layer of waterproof sheets meant that it was a quick job to whip off the wet ones. I would suggest you just stop lifting him. He will wet the bed to start, as he is probably in the habit of going when you lift him (ps I had never heard of "lifting" before your post). But it won't last forever and he'll be sleeping through dry before you know it.

I know I will be flamed but I don't think you need to keep kids in nappies at night until they are absolutely dry. The thought of a 5yo or older in night nappies makes me feel a little bad for the kid... It's only wet sheets for a few weeks, nothing to really dread and their bodies can certainly adjust if you give them a chance.

good luck, sounds like you are mostly there!

[Lochie]

Thank you so much for all the suggestions and experiences.

I didn't realise that about the hormone. In case anyone is interested I found this quite useful, and now realise to a certain extent it is a biological thing: http://www.webmd.com/children/features/bedwetting-causes

My son really is deeply asleep when I 'lift him' which in a way is why I think he won't wake to go for a wee in the night as he rarely stirs til morning. When I put him on the loo at night he is still asleep! I may do as Etta suggested and keep lifting him bar a few nights every month to 'test' to see if he is making any progress.

By the way if anyone hates the faff of changing sheets at night i've found quite a good way of making things as easy as possible - I layer these http://www.drynites.co.uk/products/drynites-bed-mats/?id=004 with a cot bed sheet on top (they are usually big enough to tuck underneath both sides of the bed) - if the bed is wet I just have to remove the cot bed sheet and the mat, leaving a fresh cot bed sheet and mat underneath. Helps avoid having to strip and wash several single bedsheets...