has anybody had a baby in their 40's

[pommie]

I have two daughters eldest is 5 1/2 and youngest is just over 2. During my last pregnancy it was found out that my daughter had cysts on one of her kidneys (which seem to be getting smaller as time goes on). Also she was showing as very big and I was started off a week early and she weighed 9lb. I had complications after my c section whereby I wouldn't stop bleeding (I think it didn't help that when the midwife gave me a sweep she made me bleed quite heavily) so had to be rushed back into surgery to be patched up and spent a week in hospital. There was talk that I might have had to have a hysterectomy but luckily I didn't. Anyway I'm 40 now and would really love another baby but I was just wondering if people have had any similar experiences and whether they have had another baby afterwards. I am a little scared what with the risks of the baby and also if it would be too risky for me to have another one.

[hpsaucey]

Sorry - I have no relevant experience to add, but notices that this has recieved a lot of views and no post. Hoping that someone PM's you with useful advice/support!

HP

[pommie]

Thank you hp

[angelabbie]

I had my last baby at 45 and a natural birth which followed a c section several years earlier. I had a tricky pregnancy but followed doctors orders and now have a lovely 3 year old. He weighed 9lb 2 but it was an easy birth. If I did not have such a difficult pregnancy I would have done it again! I would say chat with your docs and midwife and see what they think. Good luck

Tina

[SR]

I'm 41 and had my second a month before my birthday. It was a relatively easy pregnancy though I was bigger and more achy than my first pregnancy 4 years earlier, so my experience was not like yours. I think you can get a whole lot of anecdotal examples that show pregnancy is easy or difficult after 40 but we can't predict how it will be for you. Agree with angelabbie, would be ideal to speak to a GP or midwife about your fears?

[ClareC]

Interested in this one too, we have a 3 and 4 year old and would like a third. I was 40 last week so wondering whether we should go for it or forget it!

[Knomester]

I don't have personal experience of this, but I'm one of 4 children and my mum had my youngest sister and brother both after she was 40 (at 40 and just shy of 45). She hadn't had any major complications with either of her first two babies though and although labour and childbirth were no breeze (v lengthy and I was back to back so painful) she didn't find pregnancy itself hard work.

Baby 3 wasn't for coming and she ended up with a fairly touch and go emergency c section, but Baby 4 was a hassle free vbac with no monitoring or pain relief (bar a bit if gas and air!). That was 20 years ago and Baby 4 (having been the smallest of us all at birth) is a strapping 6'3" and just finishing his first year at uni.

Best of luck to you whatever you decide.

[GinaG3]

I dont have personal experience either but my mum had all of us at 17, 24, 31, 33 and 41. Last 3 were all natural home births (last one in the garden!) and says none of her pregnancies were any different to the others. Even when she delivered me at 10lb 10oz!!!!! She didn't feel more tired with one more than the other and had no complications in any pregnancy. Good luck with your decision, if it feel right go for it!

[EPB]

I had my first at 42 and the second at 45.

The big advantage was that "because of your age" I had to have consultant care, and could choose which A-rated hospital I fancied.

As it happened, I didn't need any special care, but it was nice to know it was on tap!

[VanessaPMR]

Love this thread, I am 40 next week and these positive stories might just encourage me to have another...eeek!

[ClareC]

My friends sister had her first at 43, no problems conceiving and normal pregnancy.

My friend had her first at 42 following IVF - her notes stated 'geriatric mother' how cheeky ;)

[BeccaL]

I remember the shock when I was called an "elderly primigravida" (first time mother) when I had my daughter - I was 31!! (and this was only 9 years ago!!)

[Bellenden_Mum]

BeccaL, I have a 20-month old, and when I went to visit the GP I was told I was old for a first time Mum. At the time I was also 31, so this still happens now! When I saw the midwife for my booking in appointment she was not amused :-)

[Mazza6]

I had my only one at 42 and had a wonderful pregnancy, he came three weeks early and still had another week of work to do. Someone mentioned that older mums babies do sometimes come earlier, was just never told that or would have finished work earlier. All the best x

[keane]

I had my first baby at 34 & had a really difficult birth & had to have a big repair when he was 2. He was my first baby & I had expected it to be easier after the rubbish nct class I went to! I was definitely traumatised after that birth. Then I had my second at 41 and my 3rd at 44 and I have to say the second & third births were c sections and were lovely & much better than my first so called natural birth! If anything the 3rd was the best birth as I knew what to expect from the c section and wasn't as worried. Though it did feel that although I felt very well throughout the pregnancy, because of my age & how it all gets fed into computers & churned out with risk statistics it was as if a red alarm went off every time I went to kings. The baby was absolutely fine though - and I know it's good to have access to all the tests and research but sometimes I felt the testing & statistics made the pregnancy more anxious.

[dollydaydream]

I had my first child at 39 and second child at 42 both well overdue went into labour both times and

ended up with emergency c sections I wouldn't change a thing. Go for it.

[Tallulahdoesthehula]

Have been lurking on this thread and watching with interest. Recently turned 40 and just discovered I am pregnant with number 3. Excited and scared all at the same time. We are not telling anyone at the moment either which is sooooo difficult! Think a few friends already suspicious as I have been saying no to a glass of wine when offered ;-)

Dreading telling my mum, she though she was too old to have a baby at 30 ;-)

When I went to the Dr surgery they didn't bat an eyelid about my age and when I mentioned my concern, the Dr was surprised and gave the impression that 40 is nothing these days. The Dr actually told me the risks at 40 and 35 are not that different, 45 is the age when they increase. She also told me the chances of conceiving are similar between mid to late 30's and early 40's. None of this geriatric mother references :-)

Still early days but keeping everything crossed and needing to do so much research on all the things I used to know everything about - buggies, car seats, etc

Timing totally wrong but hey ho when is the timing right?

Any other 40 plus preganant ladies out there? How has this pregnancy compared to previous (if any)?

T x

[louloulabelle]

Hi! I had my first at 38, 2nd 8 weeks before my 40th and 3rd just before my 42nd birthday. I was very lucky and had 3 good pregnancies and 3 healthy babies so I'm a big advocate of babies when your older but everyone and every pregnancy is different and risks do obviously increase as you get older but I used to sit in the midwifes waiting room with ladies in their twenties with far more problems than us 'older' mums seemed to have so its swings and roundabouts.

I was far more tired with my 3rd pregnancy but i had two toddlers to look after as well at the time so who wouldn't be! :)

xx

[jennyb123]

Hi, I had my first at 40 and 2nd at 42. First pregnancy was easy(ish), first birth not great (lots of interventions). Second pregnancy more tiring, second birth a breeze (home birth in birthing pool - highly recommended!). I think you just can't predict what sort of experience you're going to have. Just try and be as healthy and stress-free as possible throughout the deciding/conceiving/pregnancy/birth/breastfeeding stages, and give yourself and baby the best chances!

My consultant was full of doom and gloom when I was contemplating a home birth at 42, but the midwives were very supportive (and very smug when it all went - erm - swimmingly!).

[winslow]

I had my first baby a 44. I was very fortunate. All went well and I have a lovely baby boy!

[monty29]

my first was at 40 and 2nd a surprise at 45 (nearly 46) and both preganancies great and both easy births and healthy babies - maybe we were lucky ! apart from feeling tired(which I think all mums do anyway regardless of age) I wouldb;'t of had it any other way !

[Carbonara]

Yes, I have had a baby in my 40s, but not after a C section or other complications.

Pregnancy and birth were extremely straightforward - no problems due to age at all.

[esme]

I have 2 friends who had their first (and one of them her second when she was 45) in their forties... plus 2 aunties. All healthy women, some had complications but the babies (and now children in most cases) were perfectly healthy and where there could have been a risky labour they had a c-section.

Good luck whatever you decide x

[shaunag]

Ok-this will be controversial, but my mum had my brother when she was 40. He was born with spina bifida. He has had the best of care and you wouldn't know it from looking at him (although he is beginning to deteriorate a bit), but, it is and has been an incredibly tough life for him and my parents. He has had countless surgeries and is in pain every day. All of the above posters have been happy endings but there can be problems, and they can be very severe. I adore my brother, he is a brilliant bloke and an inspiration for everything he has been through, but I would not wish his condition on my worst enemy, so I won't be attempting babies anywhere near 40...

[buggie]

Can understand your reluctance given your family history, but I didn't think spina bifida was age related - isn't it less of a concern these days as all women trying to conceive/who are pregnant are encouraged to take folic acid supplements?