Why are bar staff so slow?

[Jah Lush]

Wot you looking at? You staring at my bird?

[HonaloochieB]

Faaaack off, I wuz 'ere first

[Brendan]

So having a genetic makeup that is half Irish and half Afrikaans I suppose I am genetically programmed for bar work and scrapping.

Pity I?m a lazy pacifist.

Well not completely.

?Yeah wotcha gonna do about it? Eh!?

[HonaloochieB]

Would you tread on the tail o' me coat, you hoor?

[Jah Lush]

Right that's it. Outside NOW!!!!!

[HonaloochieB]

I will warn you I'm a bit tasty.

[HonaloochieB]

Just checked my last post, that should have been 'tatty'. Sorry.

[Jah Lush]

Wot! Like a facking dougnut? Come on then!

[HonaloochieB]

Right, you've really got my dander up now.

Just make sure I've got everything before, before the donnybrook commences.

Glasses? Check.

Warfarin tablets? Check.

Inhaler? Check.

Hearing aid? Check.

Spare hearing aid? Check.

Freedom card? Check.

Current doctor's certificate? Check.

Crutch? Check.

Sling? Check.

Finger stall? Check.

Come on you blackguard, I'm ready for you.

[Jah Lush]

Oh! bugger this old bean. It's bloody cold out here. Come back in and I'll buy a you pint. Sorry about that. I thought you was someone else. Bloody service in here's diabolical.

[Brendan]

What do you mean you cant?

[Jah Lush]

I mean't I can't. Sorry old bean. *Dashes to the loo to evacuate bowels*.

[Mogs]

The thing with London Bar Staff is that with cooperate companies they see adding up in your head, serving 3 to 4 people at time = Extra Spillage, Incorrect Adding up, wrong change giving, theiving/free drinks

Therefore if they employ staff who can't add up thier head, can only serve one person at a time and then have to use the till to make sure they get the right change then there will be less spillage, less chance of mistakes and less chance of theiving

When I first came to London after working in Ireland and then back home in Wales, I found that working for BASS, was actually brain numbing and I missed the challenges of remembering people's orders, and showing off the ability to add up in my head and have the change ready when I noticed that they were about to give me a 10 or 20.

[HonaloochieB]

Lush Wrote:

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> Oh! bugger this old bean. It's bloody cold out

> here. Come back in and I'll buy a you pint. Sorry

> about that. I thought you was someone else. Bloody

> service in here's diabolical.

You're right, civil of you old thing.

Faults on both sides, things said in the heat of the moment and all that.

Pint you say? Peronni, if that's not too much of a liberty. Cheers.

I could have bloody had you though.

[HonaloochieB]

Brendan Wrote:

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> What do you mean you cant?

Are you by any chance referring to Brian, voice of Trumpton? Casual early years educator of Playschool?

I trust you're not being disparaging about him. I leave it at that.

I merely add, that I have you in my eye, sir.

[Asset]

  Quote

Barservice should be a vocation, a calling,

Steady on

[????]

it could be that you're an alcoholic and the physical and mental longing for that pint that you are so near to but is not yet in your hands makes seconds seem like hours.....or is that just me?

[snorky]

I think you will find that dealing with mouthy drunks, whilst on for minimum wage, doesnt exactly inspire enthusiasm

[HonaloochieB]

snorky Wrote:

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> I think you will find that dealing with mouthy

> drunks, whilst on for minimum wage, doesnt exactly

> inspire enthusiasm

But perhaps poetry? Ask Shane MacGowan.

[Annasfield]

What a load of bollocks!!!!!!

Bar staff are as good at their job as they are boozers. I LOVE working behind a bar and in fact, if I could earn my salary pulling pints I would be a very happy girl.

Yep, drink orders are down to the punter. However if I'm asked for a Guinness as the last drink of the round, I make sure that the customer is made to wait for me to pour the first two-thirds and then serve someone else before they are handed their pint. Trust me they soon learn.

"Where's my Guinness??" - the best things come to those who wait ;-)

It's like Bloody Marys. I've been told I make the best in the world. Fact is, I like them, therefore I know how they should be drunk. Not too tricky really.

[SeanMacGabhann]

good post Mogs - and what's worse about the pubcos is the application forms they make you fill in - you would think you were applying CEO level

As for Annasfield's

  Quote

Bang on - I have always said the same too

[djfitz]

Annasfield Wrote:

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> What a load of bollocks!!!!!!

>

> Bar staff are as good at their job as they are

> boozers. I LOVE working behind a bar and in fact,

> if I could earn my salary pulling pints I would be

> a very happy girl.

>

Do you work in a pub at present? Even part time?

If you do and can take an order for six or eight drinks in one go without having to ask me "Two gins, a coke... what else was there..?" then I will gladly drink in your establishment for the rest of my days!

In fact, if anyone can recommend a pub with bar-folk like this in/about ED please tell me.

[Brendan]

I used to love working behind the bar too. And I was fucking good at it if I do say so myself. And I do. I don?t know if I could still manage the 18 hour shifts though.

All too often ththough barfolk seem to be like brainless droids ticking through a procedure that they were taught. As far as I can make out it is made up of the following 15 steps.

1. Ask customer what they want.

2. Walk off when they are halfway through the order and make the first drink.

3. Come back and re-ask what the rest of the order is

4. Painstakingly make it doing only one thing at a time

5. Ask if there is anything else

6. Go and make the drink you forgot and fix the one you messed up

7. Ask if there is anything else

8. Ring the drinks up

9. Call the other bar person over to ask them about something on the till

10. Ring the rest of the drinks up

11. Go back to the wrong customer

12. Realise your mistake and tell the correct customer how much it is

13. Go back to the till and work it all out electronically

14. Put the change into a suitable puddle of something sticky on the bar

15. Look flustered

Problem I think with a lot of bar staff is that they don?t have an intuitive sense of how people drink.

They should be made to go out and drink properly themselves for at least a year before they?re allowed behind a bar.

[SeanMacGabhann]

  Quote

Nail. On. Head

[djfitz]

Better still, have all the taps and optics and glasses on the other side of the bar. We could then walk up to the counter, pour our drinks ourselves and then give them the money. We could easily work out how much to give them ourselves being possibly quicker at adding up in our heads.