Jump to content

Things that have made me laugh 2

mockney piers

By mockney piers
in The Lounge

 Share

Recommended Posts

wee quinnie

wee quinnie

Posted
Posted

Jimbob Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> sorry quinnie have to disagree on that one, while

> the occasional dowling column is good, on the

> whole there are more misses than hits, whereas

> ronson was good every week.

> still miss was it mill millington and his column.



Hiya Jimbob - I didn't rate TD at the start, but he has really grown on me over the last couple of months - I had the same thing with Mil Millington, (although his other half was the real star of the show there imo).

Bellenden Belle

Bellenden Belle

Posted
Posted

Tim Dowling makes me smile sometimes... Andrew Clover in The Sunday Times is quite fun.... Flett sometimes gets it right, but Barbara Ellen went off the boil years ago. Oh and who was that alcoholic suave bloke on the back pages of the Observer....I never got him ever. I like Michael Holden's overheard section in the Saturday Guardian guide but find him very dull in Time Out. I love some of the columns in the guide looking at advertisements... Pete Paphides can turn a good line.

And is it Lucy Mangan?- the second columnist in the Saturday Guardian... dull dull dull - even looking at her picture I just yawn.

Don't get the Times selection of self-absorbed women with names like Candice (sounds too much like an ointment) and why bother with Slummy Mummy when we have our very own Dulwich Mum.


Ahhhh, but Ronson, Ronson.... now he was a gem.

EDOldie

EDOldie

Posted
Posted

*Bob* always makes me laugh but this has to be the most succinct argument for retaining BST and saying up yours to the Scots.


'Be thankful for it.


If the French have their way and manage to push through this new EU directive, time will instead be measured in units of 'onions'. And instead of the clocks going backward and forward, Britons will be required to spend two hours per year smoking, shrugging and eating the parts of animals that most right-minded people discard.'

Moos

Moos

Posted
Posted
Oh and who was that alcoholic suave bloke on the back pages of the Observer....I never got him ever.


Can BB possibly mean Jeffrey Bernard (as in 'unwell')? I suppose not, no-one ever described him as suave. Perhaps 'High Life''s Taki Theodoracupulos - a name that makes our own Michael P sound like, well, John Smith.


No offence to any John Smiths that may post on the forum.

georgia

georgia

Posted
Posted

For all who work with rude customers - an award should go to this Virgin Airlines desk attendant in Sydney:


A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A single attendant was rebooking a long line of inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST CLASS'. The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir. I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be able to work something out.'

The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have your attention please, may I have your attention please,' she began - her voice heard clearly throughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone can help him find his identity, please come to Desk 14.' With the folks behind him in line laughing hysterically, the man glared at the Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said, 'F... You!' Without flinching, she smiled and said 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line for that too.'

georgia

georgia

Posted
Posted

IT Helpdesk Questions:


A woman customer called the Canon help desk with a problem with her printer.

Tech support: Are you running it under windows?

Customer: 'No, my desk is next to the door, but that is a good point. The man sitting in the cubicle next to me is under a window, and his printer is working fine.'


Tech support: 'Okay Colin, let's press the control and escape keys at the same time. That brings up a task list in the middle of the screen. Now type the letter 'P ' to bring up the Program Manager.'

Customer: I don't have a P.

Tech support: On your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: What do you mean?

Tech support: 'P'.....on your keyboard, Colin.

Customer: I'M NOT GOING TO DO THAT!!


Customer: can't get on the Internet.

Tech support: Are you sure you used the right password?

Customer: Yes, I'm sure. I saw my colleague do it.

Tech support: Can you tell me what the password was?

Customer: Five stars.


Tech support: What's on your monitor now, ma'am?

Customer: A teddy bear my boyfriend bought for me at Woolies.

Jah Lush

Jah Lush

Posted
Posted

georgia Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> For all who work with rude customers - an award

> should go to this Virgin Airlines desk attendant

> in Sydney:

>

> A crowded Virgin flight was cancelled after

> Virgin's 767s had been withdrawn from service. A

> single attendant was rebooking a long line of

> inconvenienced travellers. Suddenly an angry

> passenger pushed his way to the desk. He slapped

> his ticket down on the counter and said, 'I HAVE

> to be on this flight and it HAS to be FIRST

> CLASS'. The attendant replied, 'I'm sorry, sir.

> I'll be happy to try to help you, but I've got to

> help these people first, and I'm sure we'll be

> able to work something out.'

> The passenger was unimpressed. He asked loudly, so

> that the passengers behind him could hear, 'DO YOU

> HAVE ANY IDEA WHO I AM?'

> Without hesitating, the attendant smiled and

> grabbed her public address microphone: 'May I have

> your attention please, may I have your attention

> please,' she began - her voice heard clearly

> throughout the terminal. 'We have a passenger here

> at Desk 14 WHO DOES NOT KNOW WHO HE IS. If anyone

> can help him find his identity, please come to

> Desk 14.' With the folks behind him in line

> laughing hysterically, the man glared at the

> Virgin attendant, gritted his teeth and said,

> 'F... You!' Without flinching, she smiled and said

> 'I'm sorry, sir, but you'll have to get in line

> for that too.'



That was originally done by the late great Peter Cook whilst a stuffy customer and his entrourage were trying to get into the Playboy Club back in the 60s or 70s. But well done to the attendent for remembering it.

Ted Max

Ted Max

Posted
Posted
Re: Does East Dulwich have a gay club/society/community?

Posted by: SeanMacGabhann Today, 01:09PM

I've met plenty of gay people in ED in my 8 years here, and several frequent this very forum


However, anytime I've seen a suggested gathering advised, response has usually been pretty poor (ie no bugger shows up)



Arf.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
 Share
Go to topic listing
  • Advertise Here

  • Latest Discussions

    • Zak
      Lordship Lane Post Office Closure

      By Zak · Posted

      As a result of the Horizon scandal it now seems very clear that the Post Office management are highly disingenuous and not be trusted!  There needs to be a campaign launched to challenge the threatened closure, unless the Post Office can demonstrate beyond doubt that the branch is loss making - and even then it could argued that better management could address this. I hope the local media take this up and our MP  and a few demonstrations outside wouldn’t do any harm. Bad publicity can be very effective!         
    • David Peckham
      Dirty pool, Dulwich Leisure Centre

      By David Peckham · Posted

      Unlikely. It would take a little more than a bit of Milton to alter the pH of eighty-odd thousand gallons of water.
    • jazzer
      To the thief

      By jazzer · Posted

      It actually feels as though what I said is being analytically analysed word by word, almost letter by better. I really don't believe that I should have to explain myself to the level it seems someone wants me to. Clearly someones been watching way too much Big Brother. 
    • malumbu
      Lordship Lane Post Office Closure

      By malumbu · Posted

      Sadly they don't do the full range of post office services

East Dulwich Forum

Established in 2006, we are an online community discussion forum for people who live, work in and visit SE22.

Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...