Jump to content

Recommended Posts

This sounds awful and upsetting for you (particularly the bullying fears).


My child is sometimes kleptomaniac and takes other kids stuff - especially toy money! You have just reminded me that I need to follow this up more and find and return items she takes.


We don't endorse stealing, we're just a busy busy family.


I would explain to the other mum how important this toy is to your daughter and ask her if she could have an extra special look? Other mums have asked me this before - luckily for items my daughter's properly borrowed though :-)


Good luck!

YES, you need to step in on playdates to mediate this behaviour. 5 yo is too young to know how to handle this without consistently having seen an adult do it.


And if you have another playdate, try to make it on neutral territory like park/caf?, not your home. Otherwise you could be back in the same pickle again no matter how closely you watch.


Tbh, at this age I wouldn't personally go out of my way to arrange playdates in my home if I don't feel I can also be ok with the parents. If the parents aren't comfortable with each other, the children will notice and play up on it even if they don't realise that's what they're doing. (And even families we ARE great mates with we still sometimes meet in neutral places to reduce friction among the children!)


Good luck. Hope the toy turns up soon. xx

Agree with Saffron about neutral territory and nicer now the weather is warmer.


I think that 5 is still very young. It's possibly old enough to know that stealing is wrong, but young enough to succumb to temptation. Perhaps this little girl comes from a family that may not have such nice necklaces/toys as yours? Assuming that your child goes to one of the state primaries, I think we should be mindful that many children do not have many toys/clothes etc that other children enjoy.


As for vetting your children's friends - my policy is to always let my children choose their own friends, even from a very young age (they are both at secondary school now). I think you are setting yourself up for problems later on if you encourage/discourage friendships based on whether you like their family or not. Its not about you, it's about your children.


On occasions there were children that they befriended some that I wasn't that keen on, but actually it is part of growing up to learn to deal with this themselves. You can always be in the background for her to turn to if necessary but if you are supportive but leave her to her own devices it will be fine.

Wow, I hope this other kid's family doesn't read the forum! It's quite an assumption to say that this child deliberately stole the toy and necklace, linking it with bullying, saying their house is 'chaotic' etc. Even your own child says this other kid put the toy back after she'd finished playing with it. Is it not possible it might just have got lost? And even if they did take it, it's very strong to accuse a child of being a thief when they're five, for God's sake! Wait till your own kid comes home from another playdate having accidentally brought something back with her - it'll happen, I promise you.
I think sometimes our kids can have friends that spark some emotions in us...especially if we think they are not being the nicest to our children and it brings back memories. To be honest, it seems very difficult to know exactly what went on with both the necklace and the toy, so I would guard against making assumptions.

Create an account or sign in to comment

You need to be a member in order to leave a comment

Create an account

Sign up for a new account in our community. It's easy!

Register a new account

Sign in

Already have an account? Sign in here.

Sign In Now
  • Latest Discussions

    • Just seen them! Moved into Barry Rd 33 years ago and remember watching dozens of them in the sky as we sat in the back garden the first evening. Look out for them every year. Lifts your spirits when they arrive. 
    • Aleksandra was the driving force behind the conversion of what was a nice but very outdated house into what is now my beautiful, vibrant and modern home. I cannot recommend her enough- she was a pleasure to work with- she has an uncanny eye for detail and her sense of style is unparalleled. She knew where to push me beyond my “safe beige” colours but always kept my personality and preferences in mind. She sourced fabric / colours / lighting designs , she found local options for spectacular interior ideas in the kitchen , display cabinets , bathrooms , bedrooms and wardrobes. She never went beyond budget and was very timely in her execution. The result was a beautiful home that even after 8 years looks as stunning as it did when first put together. It is as liveable as it is beautiful and none of it would have been possible with Alexandra. I truly could not recommend her highly enough- there are few people with her work ethic and style. Thank you Alexandra !
    • The Lib Dems are against tightening visa requirements to live in the UK and against shrinking the university sector, and also (at least in Dulwich) against housing being built if it means that foreign students live in it. 🤷
Home
Events
Sign In

Sign In



Or sign in with one of these services

Search
×
    Search In
×
×
  • Create New...