Poets Corner

[Mick Mac]

Mid-Term Break

I sat all morning in the college sick bay

Counting bells knelling classes to a close.

At two o'clock our neighbors drove me home.

In the porch I met my father crying--

He had always taken funerals in his stride--

And Big Jim Evans saying it was a hard blow.

The baby cooed and laughed and rocked the pram

When I came in, and I was embarrassed

By old men standing up to shake my hand

And tell me they were 'sorry for my trouble,'

Whispers informed strangers I was the eldest,

Away at school, as my mother held my hand

In hers and coughed out angry tearless sighs.

At ten o'clock the ambulance arrived

With the corpse, stanched and bandaged by the nurses.

Next morning I went up into the room. Snowdrops

And candles soothed the bedside; I saw him

For the first time in six weeks. Paler now,

Wearing a poppy bruise on his left temple,

He lay in the four foot box as in his cot.

No gaudy scars, the bumper knocked him clear.

A four foot box, a foot for every year.

Seamus Heaney

Having a 4 year old son, this made me sad, especially the high impact final line.

Add your own poens.

[Jah Lush]

A Drinking Song by William Butler Yeats

Wine comes in at the mouth

And love comes in at the eye;

That's all we shall know for truth

Before we grow old and die.

I lift the glass to my mouth,

I look at you, and I sigh.

[fl0wer]

Never Give Up

No matter what is going on

Never give up.

Develop the heart.

Too much energy in your country

is spent developing the mind

instead of the heart.

Be compassionate

not just to your friends

but to everyone.

Be compassionate

Work for peace

in your heart and in the world.

Work for peace

and I say again

Never give up

No matter what is happening

No matter what is going on around you

Never give up.

HH The Dalai Lama

[Parkdrive]

'And these words shall then become

Like Oppression's thundered doom

Ringing through each heart and brain,

Heard again - again - again -

'Rise like Lions after slumber

In unvanquishable number -

Shake your chains to earth like dew

Which in sleep had fallen on you -

Ye are many - they are few.'

The last two verses taken from "The Mask of Anarchy" by Percy Bysshe Shelley

[steveo]

Like.

I used to smoke Park Drives

They came in fives

[Jah Lush]

Said Hamlet to Ophelia,

I'll draw a sketch of thee,

What kind of pencil shall I use?

2B or not 2B?

Spike Milligan.

[jctg]

Oh, dear Flo

How I love you so

Especially in your nightie,

When the moonlight flits

Across your tits,

Oh, Jesus Christ Almighty

(To be recited in a Scottish accent)

[KidKruger]

Baby rabbit with eyes full of pus,

this is the work of scientific us.

Spike Milligan

[jctg]

KidKruger Wrote:

-------------------------------------------------------

> Baby rabbit with eyes full of pus,

> this is the work of scientific us.

>

> Spike Milligan

bit 'a politics there.

[ed_pete]

Oh Bollocks - I thought this was about property prices between Herne Hill and Brixton.

[Alan Medic]

I once knew this so well I could recite it.

Say Bazonka every day

That's what my grandma used to say

It keeps at bay the Asian Flu'

And both your elbows free from glue.

So say Bazonka every day

(That's what my grandma used to say)

Don't say it if your socks are dry!

Or when the sun is in your eye!

Never say it in the dark

(The word you see emits a spark)

Only say it in the day

(That's what my grandma used to say)

Young Tiny Tim took her advice

He said it once, he said it twice

he said it till the day he died

And even after that he tried

To say Bazonka! every day

Just like my grandma used to say.

Now folks around declare it's true

That every night at half past two

If you'll stand upon your head

And shout Bazonka! from your bed

You'll hear the word as clear as day

Just like my grandma used to say!

Spike Milligan

[hibbs]

Piddlin' Pete

A famous dog once came to town

Known to his friends as Pete

His pedigree was ten yards long

His looks were hard to beat

And as he trotted down the road

'twas beautiful to see

His work at every corner

Every post and every tree

He never missed a land mark

He never missed a post

For piddling was his masterpiece

And piddling pleased him most

The city dogs stood looking on

In deep and jealous rage

To see this little country dog

The piddler of his age

They smelt his efforts one by one

They smelt him two by two

But noble Pete in high disdain

Stood still 'til they were through

Then when they'd smelt him everywhere

The praise for him ran high

But when one smelt him underneath

Pete piddled in his eye

Just then to show these city dogs

He didn't care a damn

He strolled into the grocers shop

And piddled on the ham

He piddled on the cornflakes

He piddled on the floor

And when the grocer threw him out

He piddled up the door

Behind him all the city dogs

Debated what to do

They'd hold a piddling carnival

The hoop they'd put him through

They showed him all the piddling posts

They knew about the town

And off they set with many a wink

To wear the stranger down

But Pete was with them all the way

With vigour and with vim

A thousand piddles more or less

Were all the same to him

And on and on went noble Pete

As tireless as a windmill

And very soon those city dogs

Were piddled to a standstill

Then Pete an exhibition gave

Of all the ways to piddle

With double drips and fancy flips

And now and then a dribble

The city dogs said farewell Pete

Your piddling did defeat us

But no one ever put them wise

That Pete... he had diabetes.

by Leslie Sarony

[holloway]

Meeting Midnight

by Carol Ann Duffy

I met Midnight

Her eyes were sparkling pavements after frost.

She wore a full length, dark-blue raincoat with a hood.

She winked. She smoked a small cheroot.

I followed her.

Her walk was more a shuffle, more a dance.

She took the path to the river, down she went.

On Midnight?s scent,

I heard the twelve cool syllables, her name,

chime from the town.

When those bells stopped,

Midnight paused by the water?s edge.

She waited there.

I saw a girl in purple on the bridge.

It was One o?Clock.

Hurry, Midnight said. It?s late, it?s late.

I saw them run together.

Midnight wept.

They kissed full on the lips

And then I slept.

The next day I bumped into Half-Past Four.

He was a bore.

[El Pibe]

I remind myself of this most days, try and minimise the damage....

They fuck you up, your mum and dad.

They may not mean to, but they do.

They fill you with the faults they had

And add some extra, just for you.

But they were fucked up in their turn

By fools in old-style hats and coats,

Who half the time were soppy-stern

And half at one another?s throats.

Man hands on misery to man.

It deepens like a coastal shelf.

Get out as early as you can,

And don?t have any kids yourself.

 

[Jeremy]

... waiting for KK to post 'Evidently Chickentown'... with every other word fuck ed out

[TillieTrotter]

Warning

When I am an old woman I shall wear purple

With a red hat which doesn't go, and doesn't suit me.

And I shall spend my pension on brandy and summer gloves

And satin sandals, and say we've no money for butter.

I shall sit down on the pavement when I'm tired

And gobble up samples in shops and press alarm bells

And run my stick along the public railings

And make up for the sobriety of my youth.

I shall go out in my slippers in the rain

And pick flowers in other people's gardens

And learn to spit.

You can wear terrible shirts and grow more fat

And eat three pounds of sausages at a go

Or only bread and pickle for a week

And hoard pens and pencils and beermats and things in boxes.

But now we must have clothes that keep us dry

And pay our rent and not swear in the street

And set a good example for the children.

We must have friends to dinner and read the papers.

But maybe I ought to practice a little now?

So people who know me are not too shocked and surprised

When suddenly I am old, and start to wear purple.

Jenny Joseph

[KidKruger]

the @#$%& cops are @#$%& keen

to @#$%& keep it @#$%& clean

the @#$%& chief's a @#$%& swine

who @#$%& draws a @#$%& line

at @#$%& fun and @#$%& games

the @#$%& kids he @#$%& blames

are nowehere to be @#$%& found

anywhere in chicken town

the @#$%& scene is @#$%& sad

the @#$%& news is @#$%& bad

the @#$%& weed is @#$%& turf

the @#$%& speed is @#$%& surf

the @#$%& folks are @#$%& daft

don't make me @#$%& laugh

it @#$%& hurts to look around

everywhere in chicken town

the @#$%& train is @#$%& late

you @#$%& wait you @#$%& wait

you're @#$%& lost and @#$%& found

stuck in @#$%& chicken town

the @#$%& view is @#$%& vile

for @#$%& miles and @#$%& miles

the @#$%& babies @#$%& cry

the @#$%& flowers @#$%& die

the @#$%& food is @#$%& muck

the @#$%& drains are @#$%& @#$%&

the colour scheme is @#$%& brown

everywhere in chicken town

the @#$%& pubs are @#$%& dull

the @#$%& clubs are @#$%& full

of @#$%& girls and @#$%& guys

with @#$%& murder in their eyes

a @#$%& bloke is @#$%& stabbed

waiting for a @#$%& cab

you @#$%& stay at @#$%& home

the @#$%& neighbors @#$%& moan

keep the @#$%& racket down

this is @#$%& chicken town

the @#$%& train is @#$%& late

you @#$%& wait you @#$%& wait

you're @#$%& lost and @#$%& found

stuck in @#$%& chicken town

the @#$%& pies are @#$%& old

the @#$%& chips are @#$%& cold

the @#$%& beer is @#$%& flat

the @#$%& flats have @#$%& rats

the @#$%& clocks are @#$%& wrong

the @#$%& days are @#$%& long

it @#$%& gets you @#$%& down

evidently chicken town

LYRICS ? JOHN COOPER CLARKE

[KidKruger]

And the classic Tw@t:

Like a Night Club in the morning, you?re the bitter end.

Like a recently disinfected shit-house, you?re clean round the bend.

You give me the horrors

too bad to be true

All of my tomorrow?s

are lousy coz of you.

You put the Shat in Shatter

Put the Pain in Spain

Your germs are splattered about

Your face is just a stain

You?re certainly no raver, commonly known as a drag.

Do us all a favour, here... wear this polythene bag.

You?re like a dose of scabies,

I?ve got you under my skin.

You make life a fairy tale... Grimm!

People mention murder, the moment you arrive.

I?d consider killing you if I thought you were alive.

You?ve got this slippery quality,

it makes me think of phlegm,

and a dual personality

I hate both of them.

Your bad breath, vamps disease, destruction, and decay.

Please, please, please, please, take yourself away.

Like a death a birthday party,

you ruin all the fun.

Like a sucked and spat our smartie,

you?re no use to anyone.

Like the shadow of the guillotine

on a dead consumptive?s face.

Speaking as an outsider,

what do you think of the human race

You went to a progressive psychiatrist.

He recommended suicide...

before scratching your bad name off his list,

and pointing the way outside.

You hear laughter breaking through, it makes you want to fart.

You?re heading for a breakdown,

better pull yourself apart.

Your dirty name gets passed about when something goes amiss.

Your attitudes are platitudes,

just make me wanna piss.

What kind of creature bore you

Was is some kind of bat

They can?t find a good word for you,

but I can...

TWAT.

LYRICS ? JOHN COOPER CLARKE

[Annette Curtain]

On the driver gas

Do you stand vor'm generator car,

do you think well with anxious trepidation,

that he now makes you worry;

But he does not do it, did you eight:

Take good tank timber, lumpy and dry,

not too small and not too big the chunks!

Whether soft, whether is hard not so important

both are mixed properly secure.

Then all hatches make dense,

otherwise you certainly get no gas,

because it's the same burn in generator

and no power, the motor

The seals halt 'always pure,

lubricating always them with graphite oil.

Condensation let off early,

otherwise it makes the performance short.

The rust r?ttle vor'm refueling violently

and stoch're vigorously after filling.

The hollow fire you can avoid by

and save the motor so Suffering.

Did you at all 'have thought good,

driving also makes you joy.

The air vice 'is a always right,

remember this well, that must always be.

Also Use Turn You must not forget,

really it would be presumptuous

thinking, 's can' without geh'n

Immediately you will steh'n the motor

Always thinking 'the generator driving,

well that the gas is mainly.

This will save yourself from worry

in your wood gas driving around.

(some things get weirdly better in translation)

[El Pibe]

how did you get that last twat past the filter?

OOOOOooooh!! we can say twat!!!

[computedshorty]

There are different types of nonsense. Sometimes there is playing with words or sometimes it is actual real worlds put into nonsense poetry, like this poem I like:

I went to the pictures tomorrow

I took a front seat at the back,

I fell from the pit to the gallery

And broke a front bone in my back.

A lady she gave me some chocolate,

I ate it and gave it her back.

I phoned for a taxi and walked it,

and that?s why I never came back.

Or this one.

Nobody loves me, everybody hates me

I'm going down the garden to eat worm

Long thin slimey ones

Short fat fuzzy ones

Lovely, lovely, lovely, lovely worms

Now the long thin slimey ones slip down easily

The short fat fuzzy ones stick - yurgh

The short fat fuzzy ones stick between your teeth

And the juice goes mmm mmm mmm

I'm sure there was a third verse, but I haven't sung this for 75 years

[DulwichFox]

Red Rock Ridge was a sizzling

Under the Red Rock sun.

When Reggie the Red Ridge Rock eater.

Rocked the Red Ridge Run.

Now Regie the Red Ridge Rock eater

Spied the only rock in sight.

The Red Rock Ridge awaited.

For Regie's fearsome bite.

Now Regie loved his Red Rock.

A Red Rock man was he.

He had Red Rock for Breakfast

For Dinner and for Tea.

When Regie rocked the Red Rock Ridge

The Red Rocks they did rear.

For Regie the Red Ridge Rock eater.

Was something the Red Rocks feared.

Now Regie loved his Red Rock.

And Red Ridge Rock was best.

And the eating of the Red Rock Ridge

Whould surely be the test.

Well Regie sure succeeded

He left the Red Ridge dry.

But with no more Red Ridge Rock.

Regie had to die...

Written on a No. 47 bus Shorditch - Lewisham.

By DulwichFox

Circa: 1978

[steveo]

Yay Shorty!

[????]

Our version was:

Nobody likes me, everyone hates me just 'cos I eat worms

Long tall skinny ones, short fat hairy ones, see how the little ones squirm

Bite all their heads off, suck all the juice out, throw the empty skins away,

nobody likes me everybody hates me @cos I eat worms all day.

[Mick Mac]

What a shit thread.

Is there some rule that poetry has to be "funny".